Command Central's Call of Duty

I have a few other duties that Cowboy left me in charge of while he is away. Pay his bills, turn his truck on every other week and record our favorite TV show, LOST. This should be easy.

First let me say, we don't have TiVo. I have a television I bought back in 2000 that has a VCR in it; I have no problems recording television on VHS. I rarely record shows, I don't have any favorites that come on at the same time so I mostly use the VCR for if I'm not at home and to watch all those VHS tapes that I still have. Like, Pretty Woman. To record LOST should be easy. If Cowboy could deal with VHS quality. Oh, no, not my man. Why? When you can have high quality HD?

Oy. Cowboy's television is a HDTV. It is attached to the Xbox. The glorious people at MSN, who created Xbox, gave it a live feature much like TiVo. You can go in and download any television show or movie. Being the Xbox expert Cowboy can do this real easily. Me, not so much.

This is what I would like to call Golightly versus Xbox. Now, that Xbox won some battles but I did win the war.

It's been three weeks of LOST, so far that he's missed. I waited until last night to download all of them. It is not so easy as you would think. For starters, there are over 400 television shows in the database and LOST was, like, number 354. I had to scroll through a bunch of listings. No problem.

Getting to the LOST screen and ready to download, turns out Cowboy is out of Xbox Live points to cover the costs. Oy. I had no idea what to do. I had to revert back to my Nintendo expert playing days (when I was 13) and get to know this Xbox sans manual. My brain hurts. Finally, after about half an hour of this and that, I bought some points. At this point, I felt so darned proud of myself. Yah, me!

Then we have to go back and scroll through 353 television listings to return to the LOST section. Aiyee. I attempted the download and yippee? It looks like its working, but what the heck does pending mean? It's been pending for over 30 minutes?

Since it warns you not to take off your console, I'm sitting staring at this screen out of paranoia if I hit anything, the downloads will be lost. Ha ha ha ha. Get it? Naturally, the impatience hits, seriously its 2008 and I highly doubt Cowboy waits this long for a download...so I hit a button. Uh oh, the episode I already had downloaded first, before we ran out of points and downloaded in 2 minutes, changed from "downloaded" to "pending". Craaaaaaaaap.

Finally, I just walk away. I pack for my trip to Philly, clean the apartment and return to the Xbox. We are ready to view downloads! Thank the Lord. So, since I'm such a fan and this season has totally kicked any other television show's ass this year, I watch my hard earned work.

Oh. My. God. Can someone tell me how to get the dumb pop ups off the screen? You'll have to know Xbox Live to know what I'm talking about - each time a user, Xbox Live user, logs on it pops up on your screen. And we're talking worldwide for Xbox users and it's night time: prime playing time. So, I'm getting like, 10 pop ups a minute and when you are trying to watch LOST, this is no fun.

And then a funny thing happened, way too late, if you ask me: Cowboy's younger brother calls me.
"Cool! You're on Xbox! Want to get in on our Call of Duty?"
I am not sure if he remembers meeting me, but this is a sure fire no, but much appreciated. There you have it, I won the war, kinda. And I must say, LOST via Xbox on HDTV is the best. Ever.


**okay so the picture above is our bedroom. I took it when we moved in and the room was settled because I remember sharing with y'all that I would post pictures. I was cleaning out my photos and there it was, so here it is. Bedding is from Target and that photo is from Linens n Things.

CD Project: Still rocking it with Bette...don't judge me, until you know.

Mommy

Last night my mom confessed something unusual: she loves it when I call her mommy.

This is something I never do, consciously. I cannot even remember the last time I’ve called my mom, mommy. What? 8th grade? Maybe my freshman year in high school but I think that’s pushing it. I wanted to be cool. She turned into mother. Oh and she hated it. Of course, me being me I still said mother and I think around my senior year I changed it to mom. Mommy, mother, mom.

Nowadays, I know I call her mom or mama, but the second is only when I need some dramatic emphasis. My brother, on the other hand, calls her Pearl – her legal first name. I just couldn’t. I know the reason – he works with her and I don’t think calling her mom would pass professionally in front of their co-workers and her patients. But, when I’m visiting he calls her that at home, too. So odd. There has been a rare occasion when I needed a huge dramatic emphasis and Pearl came out my mouth; but I always feel odd when I say it.

Once the words have left my lips, I kinda want to say them again and again. How many people do you know named Pearl? Its such a cool, vintage like name. I love it. I’d so name my daughter that if I didn’t love love, love, love my mother’s middle and maiden names.

I am so using either or both in my child’s name. I’ve warned Cowboy already, it’s a done deal. And for that same reason, I won’t share until, said fictional baby is born.

Last night I was telling her a story while tidying up my apartment. The story was something small that happened to me yesterday, very un-noteworthy. I didn’t get a response from her, so I asked, “what are you doing?” She said, “Why did you ask that?”. “You are not responding to anything I’m saying”

“You called me mommy”

Huh? Then she went into it. I’m not a mother so I don’t fully understand. Her gist of it was that it’s a name that you graduate from, your kids don’t call you that because they have moved on from that childhood phase. To hear it, is rare and beautiful.
Ok.
I know a few adults that call their moms, mommy. Have you graduated?

CD Project: None today. Why would I change out Bette Midler, why? I’m jamming in my car to Bette Midler, some might think I’m over 40 years old…maybe I’ll explain my fascination with her soon because I know there are at least 5 or so more CDs with her name on it in my collection.

It's Finally Here!

It’s dual anniversary, of sorts. It’s been one month since Cowboy left. Yes – it did go rather quickly. Not fast enough if you ask us. But, I’m happy with the speed of things. This week also marks a year since our first date. In some aspects, it seems like we’ve known each other a lot longer, or at least our souls have; sometimes it feels just like a year and others I feel like only a couple of months have passed. It’s amazing how quickly a year can go by and here I am worrying how four months isn’t going fast enough. Hmm. Neither one of the anniversaries have celebrations. That’s okay with me, no pressure on one and the other just gets us that much closer to September.

And speaking of September – the task of finding us a vacation spot is a part time job I don’t want. It’s so nerve wracking to find somewhere that’s affordable and nice looking. It’s enough to make me just want to give up and tell him, I really don’t want to go on vacation. I can’t do that. He’d have been in a dessert for four months dying to do nothing but relax. Any help, internets? We’re looking for beach and affordable and all inclusive would be perfect for him. I could go either way because I think you end up paying the same no matter what – the only part that makes a difference are the drinks. Bottomless drinks is always a good thing. When it comes to the food, I feel like on vacations I can get away with 2 meals a day – breakfast and an early dinner. If you have any suggestions that would be great!

Oooh and Sex and the City this weekend – talk about time flying. It seems like yesterday that May 30 was forever and a year away. It’s finally here. I just bought my tickets online (word.) because I am so not going to be waiting or disappointed. A group of us are having brunch and then heading off to the show on Sunday. It’s our normal brunch club crowd so I’m a little hesitant…brunch club tends to bring out about 30 girls to one restaurant, at one table, on one bill.

If you’ve been in that scenario before you know. You know, it never starts on time. Half of them will be late. We’ll need to account at least 20 minutes for the bill. I don’t have time for that nonsense on Sunday. The brunch club organizer scheduled our brunch for 10:30am and the show starts at 1pm. That may look like a lot of time. But let’s break it down for you…people will read that time like they have at least 15 minutes on top of that to get there (why do people do this?) so I’ll just guess everyone will not arrive until 11am; it will take about half an hour to order because someone will want to wait on that last someone who is still not there but on their way. We’ll have an hour to eat.

I’m not kidding bills and brunch club are always a headache – no matter how much you tell everyone just to bring cash, it never happens. There will be at least 10 credit cards to sort out. Let’s say we end around 12:00/12:15ish – this would not worry me as I can get my butt to a movie in that amount of time.

Buuut we’re talking Sex and the City here. It’s normal that a theater suggests arriving at least an hour beforehand on opening weekends. This is no normal opening weekend. And I’m telling you right now, I will wait for the next showing if the only seats available are the front rows. Not going to do it. But as you can see we have at least 40 minutes to get to the theater. So true buuuuuuuuuuuut the organizer chose a restaurant and theater that are not close to each other. When I saw that on the invite, I nearly choked. WTF?

I only nearly choked because it was my idea. Not the restaurant choice but to go to brunch and then go to the show. My idea didn’t include making it a brunch club. Me and the organizer are friends and we go to brunch all the time minus the club. When I wrote her the email, I said we. We meant me, her and two other girls that we know. She didn’t reply to the email instead I got the eVite. No! If I knew she’d do that I would have not asked or I would have straight out suggested a restaurant and which movie theater.

I’m not controlling – I just think ahead. It’s Sex and the City for goodness sakes. It will be crowded. Sunday or not. Crowds will be there. It’s not my first time to the rodeo…I was there for the Titanic mania, the Star Wars mania and the Lord of the Rings mania. I will not be shocked if people are camped out in line at this very minute. Fans will shock you to what they are capable of.

I’ll go because I’m social, I like the group of girls and I suggested it and I do really like the idea that it’s brunch club and the show. I’ll just hope that half that crowd shows up. And I bought something just in case we’re sitting around waiting…oh yeah, uh huh.



If I can turn brunch club to game brunch, holla.

CD Project: Ooh today, today is a good CD. I didn’t buy it. My mom gave it to me as a gift. And I love every track on it. Especially this one. Yep, Bette Midler’s Bette.

I Cried

I have two complaints about Grey's Anatomy. One, why did they wait for the very last episode of the season to make it good again? I almost gave up on this show. For serious. It was just plain boring. And then, then they give us last night. They give us, "I'm not finished loving you, yet" - that was it for me, I teared up and from that point on, each special moments were teary for me. My second complaint is, Callie. Seriously? Callie is my favorite; she's ballsy and now, apparently falling for a woman. There is nothing wrong with that. I know it happens in the real world. A lot. Women who've been with men and love men suddenly fall for a woman. Because love is love. I get it. BUT Callie was sleeping with McSteamy! Are we supposed to believe that she's been getting it from him and Erica is looking better? Come. On. Those are my complaints. And, the end, oy. I have me a thought that Derek is not coming back - something will happen.

So, I cried.

My boyfriend wants to go away on vacation when he comes back from Iraq. He wants to go out of the country. The problem was he has no passport. He is currently applying for one while over there in the desert; but he needed me to do something for him. Look through his stuff for his passport photos that he took for his military passport. Why can't his military passport be used for civilian international travel? That makes no sense to me. Buuuut, that's off topic. I had to go through some drawers. Drawers full of his stuff.

I am not a snoop. The fact that it's been 3 weeks and I haven't gone through any of his stuff, is, well, very big of me. Years and/or boyrfiends ago, I'd have been through that stuff in less than a minute from his departure. Isn't growth amazing?

Since I was asked to do it. I did. Did I find the passport photo? Yes. Buried underneath: photos of him and some girl kissing, a lot; photos from his wedding (great, now I know what she looks like. And she went to A&M.); a journal, with about 10 pages of him writing from basic training - yeah I read it because after you find photos of your boyfriend kissing and his wedding, you read that shit; and his wedding ring.

I cried. A lot.

My brain knows it's his past. My eyes didn't need to see it. And for some odd reason I couldn't stop looking at them, afterwards. To be drawn into this past world was like, heck, I don't even know. It was just plain sad.

To know that he had these things - things that I want to give him. Things that I want with him. It just got to me. I don't really care that he still has them because they were so deep in this filing cabinet, I doubt he'd been in it recently or since we've met. But, I'll tell you a secret: when we were moving in together I threw out any and all gifts and photos of every ex of mine. I didn't want anything that came from an ex in our apartment. That's me and how I do things.

To know that about myself and then to see his past, right there in my apartment was just too much. I cried. And then I wrote him an email. I told him I found the passport photos and what they were underneath.

He called immediately after reading it. He said, "my heart just sunk when I read your email" and to hear that, made it better. I heart Cowboy. And I know all that junk in that drawer is what lead him to be with me.

No CD Project today because I'm at home today off from work. My boss said she was taking a 4 day weekend and so should I. I wish she'd told me days before instead of laying it on me yesterday because I could've planned to go somewhere. Oh well. No CD because I don't use my car when I don't go to work and we all know how I live in silence when at home.

All. The. Time

I’m doing okay. The number one sympathy question I get lately is, “How are you doing?” and I know exactly what they are referring to. He’s not dead, you know. I was living alone a month prior. And I used to be single. I know how to handle the day to day. Solo. Strangers don’t get this. They hear, boyfriend in Iraq and immediately it’s like poor, poor left behind girl – me. It’s odd that I’m a lot more busier now then when he was here and than I expected to be. Cupcake classes, business trips coming up, weekend in Vegas in June, Tahoe in July and the full time job of being a maid of honor. Busy, busy.

Last night I got a call that started like this, “Hi. Golightly X. This is Bonnie from the Family Readiness Center”
Uh oh.

The Family Readiness Center is there to help you through this time while your military spouse is away. They offer counseling and group get togethers. I get an email everyday from Bonnie. The emails are about where the wives or husbands are meeting up for a weekly get together and they mention any news anyone has to share. One email announced some crazy sale Wal-Mart was having.

The emails, like I said are everyday and each time I get one; someone replies all back to Bonnie. Sheesh. Don’t people know that they have a choice to just reply back to her and I don’t need to see your crazy question?

Cowboy gave them my contact information because they are also the ones to contact you IF.
You know what that IF is. IF is scary. So when Bonnie called last night, I was thinking IF.

She just wanted to introduce herself verbally and make sure I’m doing okay and that she has the correct address for us. Hi, I’m doing great and yes.

Strangers don’t get it. It’s the case of everyone’s an expert. Then I found the below. It is exactly like this, all the time. The questions people ask and exactly what I’m thinking when they do:

1. "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
(This one ranks in at number one on the "duh" list. Of course we're afraid. We're terrified. The thought always lingers at the backs of our minds ---but thanks brilliant, you just brought it back to the front. Maybe next you can go ask someone with cancer if they're scared of dying.)

2. "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
(This is intended to be a compliment. Though, its just a little annoying. Here's why: it's not like all of us military wives have been dreaming since childhood of the day we'd get to be anxious single moms who carry cell phones with us to the bathroom and in the shower. We're not made of some mysterious matter that makes us more capable, we just got asked to take on a challenging job. So we rose to the challenge and found the strength to make sacrifices.)

4. "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc?"
(Don't you watch the news? No! They don't get to come home for any of these things. Please don't ask again.)

5. "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he's gone?"
(Short answer: Try to keep my sanity. Maybe there's a military wife out there who gets bored when her husband leaves, but I have yet to meet her. For the rest of us, those with and without children, we find ourselves having to be two people. That keeps us plenty busy. We do get lonely, but we don't get bored, and drinking massive amounts of wine always helps keep me busy.)

6. "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
(This one is annoying to many of us whether our husbands are deployed or not. Many of our husbands aren't counting down the days until they "can" get out.)


7. "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
(This one is similar to number two. Do not equate your husband's three week trip to London/Omaha/Tokyo/etc. with a 12-15 month or more deployment to a war zone. Aside from the obvious time difference, nobody shot at your husband or tried to blow him up with an I.E.D., your husband could call home pretty much any time he wanted to, he flew comfortably on a commercial plane, slept between crisp white sheets and ate well, paying for everything with an expense account. There is no comparison. We do not feel bonded to you in the slightest because of this comment and, if anything, we probably resent you a bit for it. Comparing a 12 month combat deployment to a few weeks business trip is like comparing a crappy ford taurus with mercedes convertible.)

8. "Wow you must miss him? "
(This one also gets another big "duh". Of course we miss our men.)
Every time I was asked this, I just wanted to respond "Oh, no, definitely not. I like it when he's gone. It gives me the chance to be all by myself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Who wouldn't want that?" Of course, I miss him. Wouldn't you miss your husband?

9. "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
(I don't expect non-military folks to be able to find Anbar Province on a m ap, but they should know by now that it's in Iraq . Likewise, know that Kabul and Kandahar are in Afghanistan . Know that Muqtada al Sadr is the insurgent leader of the Mahdi Army in Iraq and that Sadr City is his home area. Know that Iran is a major threat to our country and that it is located between Afghanistan and Iraq . Our country has been at war in Afghanistan for seven years and at war in Iraq for five years. These basic facts are not secrets, they're on the news every night and in the papers every day ---and on maps everywhere.)

10. "Well, he signed up for it, so it's his own fault whatever happens over there.
(Yes, ignorant, he did sign up. Each and every day he protects your right to make stupid comments like that. He didn't sign up and ask to be hit by anything, he signed up to protect his country. Oh, and by the way, he asked me to tell you that "You're welcome." He's still fighting for your freedom.)

11. "Well in my opinion....."
(Stop right there. Yo, I didn't ask for you your personal political opinions. Hey, I love a heated political debate, but not in the grocery store, not in Jamba Juice, not at Nordstrom, not in a bar when I'm out with my girls trying to forget the war, and CERTAINLY NOT AT WORK. We tell co-workers about deployments so when we have to spend lunch hours running our asses off doing errands and taking care of the house, dog, and kids, they have an understanding. We do not tell co-workers and colleagues because we are giving an invitation to ramble about politic s or because we so eagerly want to hear how much they hate the President, esp. while we're trying to heat up our lean cuisines in the crappy office microwaves.)

12. "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!"
(He's doing his job and he's a badass. Don't be sorry. Be appreciative and please take a moment out of your comfortable American lives to realize that our soldiers fight the wars abroad so those wars stay abroad.)

13. I can't believe your husband did this to you. Aren't you mad at him?
Um, what?! My husband didn't do anything to me. He honors his agreements and he follows the orders of his superiors. There's certainly nothing sad or maddening about having a husband who fulfills his commitments. Don't feel sorry for me. I'm proud of my husband and I completely support him.

I cannot remember what blog I found this on. I apologize – so if it’s yours, please let me know and I’ll credit you. Seriously.

CD Project: Madonna’s single, “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore”. Another single, another day, what can I say?

I Miss Cowboy

For the obvious reasons. Yesterday, I was missing him badly because I had to deal with his old room mates.

And that, my friends, is not an easy job. Cue to Monday night when his room mate from a year ago, the girl who got pregnant starts texting me. I didn’t have her number, so I was kind of shocked she had mine. You’ll never believe how resourceful people can get when they need to get in touch with you when they need something. Yeah.

She starts the conversation all light and its all about Cowboy and do I miss him, blah blah. And how she and baby are great. And oooh, she is moving back into our neighborhood. Yah! The texts stop for about half an hour and then I get this:
“Will you be home tomorrow night?”
I’ll bite…yes.
“Great. I’m coming over to get my daybed”
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

Here’s the background: When she, Cowboy and the ruder room mate with That Baby’s Mama (don’t worry, we’re going to get to him, too) all lived together years ago, she gave Cowboy her daybed. He moved to Dallas on a whim – after his divorce. He had little to no furniture. In came in daybed. He’s been using it ever since. If you’re thinking ahead - Yes, when we didn’t live together and I spent the night over there: daybed. There is a certain amount of closeness that I believe we share - thanks to that daybed.

When we moved, we decided to convert our dining room into a sitting area/ guest room area by placing the daybed in there. We also added my coffee table and some great white linens for the bed from IKEA to spruce it up. I have to admit, it looks cu-ute. Since, we’ve only had one guest stay the night. It was a guy and he did note that it was nice to sleep there and not in our living room/ couch. Yah!
I will say this: The daybed is a huge part of our décor. I put money into it. Granted, IKEA money, but still. You get the point.

Cowboy has had it for three years. When she moved out; she wasn’t about taking it with her.
How do I respond to her text message? Sans Cowboy?
I don’t know what kind of arrangement they have with the daybed and he never mentioned to me that she would one day want it back. And it is hers, so I said, “okay”. I don’t want any trouble.
After that, I prayed hard that that night would be one of the nights he called. Wishes do come true.
He called me at one my time, so I was kinda out of it.
He did say, that he guessed she can take it, what can we do, say no? True...My day was planned with that to happen in the evening.

While at work I get a call from CR1. You know. That Baby’s Mama’s boyfriend who used to live with Cowboy. Before Cowboy left, it was his decision to give our extra apartment key to CR1. CR1 is a cop and lives a block away from us. Cowboy thought it safest and best if he had the key. I…agreed.
Cowboy also left his truck keys with me. That’s a given, right?
So in comes the call from CR1.
“Are you at work?” he asks.
Yes. Mind you, that’s how he opened the conversation – no hello, how are you.
“Oh”
So, then I say, “what’s happening?” since he sounds so down about the fact that I’m at work on a Tuesday at 10 o’clock in the morning.
“Did Cowboy leave you his truck keys?”
Yes. Oh hell, now, what?
“He told CR2 that we could use it to move him out the apartment. I have your extra key, can I go in and get the truck key?”
Since I’m a nice person, honestly I’d let anyone of our friends in there to get the key. This is not the big deal, that’s coming up.
I tell him where it is and we’re done. Or I thought.

An hour later, he calls me again.
“What is wrong with your key?”
Again, no hello, how are you. This is how he answers the phone. After I say,”Hey, what’s up CR1?”
I realize he has the sticky key. We got two sets, one is a little rough in the lock; the other, I have. I tell him how to use it. He is confused. I tell him again. I tell him that CR2 knows how to use it. Just push the key in with all your might and turn. Hard. Why is that so hard for a guy to understand? Know what I mean? You do.
We end the call.

Twenty minutes go by; he calls me back.
“You need a new lock”
Oh. I so don’t want to hear what is next. Dear Lord. Tell me there is not a broken key in my lock.
And again – you know the drill – no hello, how are you. This is how he answers the phone.
So, I say, gritting my teeth, “Why?”
“I tried it again and the key didn’t work. So I went downstairs and they gave me a different key and that one doesn’t work either. Finally, I got the maintenance guy and his key worked”
What. The?
Do you see what is wrong with this picture? Do you see it? I’m certifiably shocked. Shocked, I tell you:

Our apartment office just gave him a key?
Then, then, then the maintenance guy just lets him in?

WTF?

Then he says, “I’m just going to leave your door unlocked”

No. No. No. No.

1. I emailed Cowboy right away. For serious. I know he is out there defending our country and shouldn’t be bothered with stuff like this. But come on.
2. I left work early. My imagination was not settling from what was happening in our apartment.
3. I’m so getting our sticky key back.

And would you believe when I got home, that fool had the balls to complain to me that there was no gas in Cowboy’s truck and that he had to fork over $15 for gas! Uhm hmm. I just stared blankly at him. There was no way I was reimbursing him for that.

Cowboy’s friends are a full time job.
Serenity now.

CD Project: 50 Cent’s Get Rich or Die Tryin
Reason I bought it: In da Club
Favorite track: Not really. I can only take In da Club in doses now.

A Girl Like Me

It’s nothing like being the maid of honor in your BFF’s wedding to make you start thinking of your own. Being the maid of honor also makes me the 2nd opinion. Her fiancé would like to think it is him but she comes to me first asking if I think this or that is okay. Then him.

Being 2nd opinion is harder than it sounds. I have to think like her and put my own tastes to the curb. My friend is very traditional and conservative. Her wedding bible is The Knot. Mine is more like real weddings and wedding blogs. Where I think The Knot is a great starting point, I do think it’s a bit out of control and very much typical wedding industry driven. Monogrammed parasols. What do you do with a monogrammed parasol when the shindig is over? And who remembers that?

I think a good wedding is an event where guests remember how much fun they had; not the unique gift favor. Who started that trend? The past two weddings I’ve been to, there was no favor. The only gift I left with was the fun time I had. Back to my friend and her ideas – they are coming hard and fast lately. Her wedding is in 3 months.

With all this new stuff coming at me, I think of my own wedding. I’m not going to lie to you – I have an excel spreadsheet with ideas that I’ve gathered lately, mostly all from wedding blogs. I heart wedding blogs. That’s where they keep it real. Real people, with real budgets. So…my excel spreadsheet was just recently created because of a great conversation I had with Cowboy.

But let me back this train up – Cowboy and I talk about our wedding all the time. We started doing this months ago. We both agree that it will happen in Arizona. That’s a warning to all my friends. He is very anti-theme for a wedding. We’ve settled on a tone instead. Some may argue tone = theme; but not so much. I have to agree on the non-theme for a wedding, I don’t want to look back and think that my wedding looked like it was 2009, chock full of all the wedding trends. With a tone, I can take whatever trends I heart and make it our own. Note the our. Unlike my friend, Cowboy will be 2nd opinion, if not co-opinion. I just cannot justify having our day reflect more of me than him and he not co-planning alongside with me. I want our guests to look at it and see both of us reflected in the tone.

So…my great conversation with Cowboy was about weddings and that lead to our own fantasy of our own. I was telling him about some great something or the other, cannot remember what it is – it never made the excel sheet – and from there we kept bouncing ideas off each other. “We could do this or that”. Cowboy told me that I need to write it all down because we don’t want to forget. As I am a paper and pen kinda girl; I went with excel because I can go in and edit the crap out of it and its in a nice planning format. I planned all the jewelry events in excel. And yes, I’m using the exact format I used for my old job for fantasy wedding planning.

To sum it all up: Cowboy and I want a wedding foundations already laid out; so when he proposes we’re not engaged for a long amount of time. This is thanks to my friend B who was engaged and married within 6 months. That is my hero. So we laid down the foundation. This means we have venues in mind. We have possible dates in mind, too. That was a task. We don’t want to marry during any of our friends/families birthdays or important life celebrations. And of course we have a tone. So I build my excel sheet with that in mind. Crazy? Or just really jumping ahead of the gun in planning?

I can’t help it, I’m a girl. A girl who thinks of her wedding day and what it will be like. And all this maid of honor stuff really has me daydreaming a lot. It’s only natural. Now, I must get back to deciding on what centerpiece she likes better…

CD Project: A Girl Like Me - Rihanna
Reason I bought the CD: S.O.S.
Favorite track: It’s still S.O.S and there is a really cool remix of If Its Loving That You Want (original track on her first CD)

Brunch = No Good

Yesterday I had the world’s worst brunch. The company was awesome, the food was not. And when the brunch food is bad, it’s just a set up for the rest of the day. Bummer.

I ordered what this restaurant was calling its version of Eggs Benedict. Fried eggs on top of ham and Texas sized toast. I love me some Texas size toast. It also noted that the hollandaise sauce was rich and spicy. Bring it on.

Fried eggs were overdone. Toast was dried out, like sitting on the counter all day dried out. And the hollandaise sauce took a vacation from my plate and decided not to show up. Boo.

And I was so excited for it.

CD Project from Friday: Disc 1 from the Evita soundtrack. Favorite track, without a doubt, Hello, Buenos Aires.
CD Project today: The Best of Diana Ross. I inherited this from when my dad moved out. He left a bunch of CDs behind. That’s what happens in a break up. My favorite tracks are, You Can’t Hurry Love and Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.

Me and the Dad

I was super nervous leading up to meeting Cowboy’s dad. At the beginning of the day it was thundering and storming a lot in Dallas. All I could hope was that either his plane would be delayed too much for us to meet during his layover or the storms would be so bad that it wouldn’t be safe for me to drive out there. The sun came out before I had to go meet him and I’m glad it did.

Cowboy’s dad is just like him. To a T. I got a good glimpse of what Cowboy will look like when he reaches that age and it ain’t bad! Cowboy’s dad automatically vetoed my restaurant suggestion – what a diva – and we left the airport for Outback Steakhouse. Which was okay, not better than the Grand Hyatt and its kickass restaurant, but he said it may have been to fancy for him and he is really a meat and potatoes guy. Okay.

I got to learn a lot more about Cowboy’s childhood especially since he and his dad are the closest bunch in the family. The other boys took after their mom but Cowboy being the youngest with a ten year difference from his brothers; he was always left out of playing or going out with them, so it was just him and his dad. I gave him Cowboy’s gift and could see the emotions in his face as he read the card. Cowboy has a really great way of putting exactly what he is feeling into words on paper. I have to give him mucho credit for it.

The only thing that I did notice was Cowboy’s dad never really asked me any questions. Which I thought was odd. It’s not like we weren’t talking a lot. He even had photos of his farm, wife and stepkids to share. Oh and even a video on his camera. Yeah, Cowboy’s dad is way more technologically advanced than I am. He did a lot of talking about them; he even had a gift that his wife sent for me. Now, that was super nice. I heard a lot about him and his life and Cowboy, but I didn’t really share a lot about myself. Maybe he already knows enough from Cowboy? Or maybe he didn’t think he needs to know that much?

On the drive back to the airport; he shocked me by telling me the story about when he met Cowboy’s ex-wife. Finally. The juice. He narrowed it down to he always knew something was off about her and when Cowboy asked him what he thought about the ex-wife; he told him that. As the story goes, Cowboy told his dad as soon as they got married, everything about her changed. And that’s when Cowboy’s dad told me that she never did anything nice for him like I do and he definitely could not see her coming out of her way to meet him during his layover.

I’m so glad the sun cleared up!

CD Project: Today was another single. Please don’t judge. This is what it was. And to my younger self’s defense; this was an excellent girl power/break up song and I was all about that back in the day. And how could you resist it when your favorite Party of Fiver had a CD? Seriously.

Hello, Cupcake!

It was so much fun. I met some really cool ladies. Central Market served us bottomless wine and quiche. I heart quiche. More than that...Karen Tack, one of the authors of Hello, Cupcake. She was great & funny & keeping it real. And I love someone who is teaching to keep it real. I went into the class skeptical because, let's face it, I'd only seen her on Martha Stewart and when I did she was praising a Ziploc bag instead of a pastry bag with tips. I didn't think it was possible to create her frosting/icing designs without a tip. But we did and she showed us how. Awesome. I'm so investing in Ziploc.

We created the sunflower, spaghetti & meatballs, bugs, the book's cover westie dog, the fishbowl and butterfly cupcakes.

Cowboy's dad gets the fishbowl and bug cupcake. The fishbowl is my favorite; but I'm allergic to nuts and that's whats used as the sand. The bug wasn't my forte.

Ooh and I learned that Central Market sells undecorated cupcakes for 50 cents each! No more slaving over the oven, when all I want to do is decorate. I'm so excited.

CD Project:
It hasn't been forgotten, I just haven't been putting them in my posts...
The CDs you missed were: Trina's Bad Ass B***h - which I 'stole' from a friend because back then I was all about the song,Pull Over. Another day was the Evita soundtrack; which was a sad day because the cd broke in my hands before being able to hear it. Boo. It was disc two and my favorite song on it is High Flying Adored. Today's cd is Marc Anthony's...ooh I forget the name of the CD but my all time favorite tracks are I need to Know & You Sang to Me.

And Now I Do the Dance of Joy

This just in…I’m attending the Hello Cupcake cooking class tonight at my local Central Market. HOLLA.

Last month when I learned of this, I was so ecstatic that I called up to be registered right away. The class was then booked and the waiting list was super long.

Then just now, a few minutes ago, they called and made my Tuesday.
Cupcakes for everyone!

This was just great timing because now I can take Cowboy’s dad an extra special cupcake from the class when I see him tomorrow.

Praise be to the Cupcake God.

Tea Bagging & Drunkedness

I meet the dad tomorrow. O.M.G. For real. And last night I confirmed it via a drunk dial.

Who the F drunk dials someone they never met before? Much less someone who could possibly be, I don’t know, future FIL? Who? Seriously, who does that?

Well, in someone defense happy hour began waaaaaaaaaaay early yesterday. Monday. Happy hours are not just for Thursday and Friday nights. Not anymore.

We have one of our many agencies in town. This one I actually like. Have I told you that I no likey some of our agencies? They are so bland – no creativity or openness to new ideas. It kinda sucks for me because anything I think up with them is mostly trashed.

But the agency I like? They are so fun. They’re mostly young hip women. We check celeb gossip on their blackberries instead of using the bathroom breaks. We share new websites and blogs daily. One always tells me when a super secret sale is going down somewhere online. We tight. They can also be a bit raunchy, like Samantha Jones raunchy. And their raunchiness brings out my boss’ never seen until they get here raunchiness.

My boss is older than 50; I’d say she may be older than my mom – I haven’t confirmed it yet. My boss and I do not speak raunchy when its just the two of us here day to day.

Back to yesterday…we have an all day meeting, the bathroom breaks let us on to why Lindsay Lohan is stealing and the fashion breaking news of what Sarah Jessica wore to the London premiere of Sex and the City. Then, between 2pm and 3pm – the can of raunchy was opened with tea-bagging. TEA. BAGGING!

And my boss is leading this discussion. My close to my mom’s age boss is talking about tea bagging. If I was white, I would’ve been red. I begged one of the agency girls to stop the questioning that my boss was answering. But, no. Then my boss actually mentions her husband – OH MY BRAIN! He works here, too. I see him everyday, at least twice a day. I have visuals. TEA BAGGING visuals of my boss. With her husband.

And I am here to tell you that there is not a drink strong enough to erase that. After work we all went straight to the bar of the restaurant we were eating dinner at and guess who joins us? The husband.

I needed an effing drink – wouldn’t you agree? And since this particular bar specializes in rum drinks, well, I was down for a count. At dinner, I sat next to the agency girl who did all the tea bagging questioning and she had the nerve to bring it up again and retort the story to another coworker who was not present for the original convo. We’re eating dinner and I’m no prude, but come on. There are two men at this table and both of them are old enough to be be our dads!

Then in the middle of my rinsing the visual drinkathon, I totally forgot that I was supposed to call Cowboy’s dad to confirm his travel plans. It was getting late and I didn’t want to call him too late; he is older and all. Command Central cannot let Cowboy down.

I excused myself from the table and drunk dialed Cowboy’s dad. I know I was yelling. A lot. And I know I repeated a lot of what I said. And I know for sure I straight up told him that we are going to such and such hotel at the airport because they make fun drinks and what's a layover without being tipsy?

Oh. Yes, I think I did.

Command Central Goes Audi 500

I need to meet Cowboy's dad next week. Well, I kinda have to. And I want to. I'm just really nervous to do this first encounter sans Cowboy.

Here's the deal: Cowboy's dad has a four hour layover 2 days in a row here in Dallas. He lives in Salt Lake City and has some business to do. Before Cowboy left, he asked me if I would go out and meet him since our Salt Lake City plans to do so were thwarted. I agreed. Cowboy went and bought a birthday present for his dad. His dad's birthday is either the day before or after his travel. My job is to get the present to him. Oh and meet him for the first time! Four hours is really not enough time to do anything.

I'm basically going to meet him outside the gate in a certain terminal where there is pretty cool hotel. I figure we could at least chat/ meet up for an hour or so, depending. My nerves are kicking in - seriously. How does this go down without the common person? I've done this once before where I met Lil Ash - Bev's friend - because we were both in Houston on business staying at the same hotel. And that turned out great. But Lil Ash is not related to anyone I was dating, so...and I think its easier when its girlfriends like that. Plus two lonely girls in the city in the same hotel. Easy. Dad? Not, so much. Has this ever happened to anyone? Met someone this influential without the common variable? Please, share. I plan on making cupcakes and taking a few to him as well since it's his birthday and all.

In other news, I'm going to kick somebody's ass. I started this new work out plan and all I want to do is go She-ra on someone. The plan is simple: workout on a machine, the highest level your body can handle for 10 minutes everyday. A different machine each day. Once a week you work out for an hour.

10 minutes? Easy. New machines? Kinda. I have to tell you working out on a level 5 step machine and then hitting a stationary bike at level 7 really work your muscles. For the hour, I've been running because there is no way I can handle a machine for an hour. Sorry, not doing it.

There is a diet component that I haven't attacked just yet, plan on starting that in 2 weeks. I like food and we need to have a good farewell tour in order for me to give up things like: carbs.

Oh, but I have made a bet with myself that if I don't go to a fast food restaurant in the 4 months Cowboy is gone: I'm rewarding myself big time. I need to pick out my prize so I can have it in mind every time I pass McDs. Or post a picture of it on my dashboard.

AND That Baby's Mama has been emailing my boyfriend! I'm not jealous or anything, really, I'm so not. She is so not cute and I know Cowboy really does not like her at times.

Last night he told me he thought it was odd, that she emails him. Everyday. WTF. She is not his friend. She is his friend's girlfriend. Is it wrong of me to want to make her the ass I kick? Seriously. The only reason she has his email is probably because her boyfriend (The room mate) gave it to her.

I'm a little upset because I wouldn't email my friend's boyfriend or husband unless I needed their help with something that has to do with my friend. You know, like a surprise for said person. I would never just email them to ask how they are doing. Granted, Cowboy is in the desert. But, still. Am I crazy?

CD Project: Yesterday was Garbage's single "I'm Only Happy When it Rains". Yes! Throwback to high school. And today's CD is the Clueless soundtrack. I'm hoping these are the oldest CDs I own. That's 1995 for you, it was summertime before my senior year in high school.

Bev and baby are doing great. She had her baby Monday, Cinco de Mayo - well, at least she'll always have a kick ass birthday. The baby was just over 8lbs - can you believe that & is a healthy baby girl, from her pictures she has the most presh cheeks ever. That's all I'm going to share because I'm sure Bev wants to post the great news herself, especially in sharing details.
No worries, I'm sure this will not be That Baby II.

Thanks so much for all the sweet comments on my last post. Y'all are the bestest ;)

Say it with Pictures

We have to get to the CD Project first. Today’s CD is the Chicago soundtrack. And it couldn’t have come at a better time. I needed my spirits picked up and what better way than belting out some showtunes in traffic on to work on a Monday morning? This really reminded me one of the reasons I’m doing the project – a simple reminder of the person I was back then and still am today, except a little of it gets forgotten. If that makes sense.

This was my first weekend sans Cowboy and it was sad. While getting ready one morning, I made an odd face in the mirror and an idea popped in. Cowboy is always telling me that he loves the different facial expressions I give out on an hourly basis. I react with my face. A lot. He tells me that a big part of why he loves it about me is that you can never tell what sort of facial reaction I’m going to have about something and a big part of the fun is waiting for me to have that reaction.

So…I had myself a little project: I stood in the mirror and did a few faces, took pictures and emailed them to him with the below.

We have my hello face where I'm so happy to see you
Then my crazy face when I'm wondering why you so crazy that I love you
Then my laughing tickle face for all the times you tickle me
Then my sad face because you are gone and I miss you terribly
And of course my I'm gonna kick your butt face because you left the shower curtain open.

(update: I don't know why the pictures are posting backwards from what I wrote to him. I uploaded them in order...what gives?)

I didn’t think it was a sad project until I hit the send button. It probably wouldn’t have been that sad, if it wasn’t for the night before.

Friday night he called me for the first time from the base. He sounded great or maybe I was just dying to hear his voice, anyhow he went on and on about where he was and what it was like and how there is a Pizza Hut there (so, you mean there was no reason for us to hit up every American fast food place in a 5 mile radius because you so thought you would never taste American food again hence me gaining 5 pounds? Uh huh.) and how he will have access to his gmail account. Yah!

The next night he called. Completely different tone. Misery & home-sickness. He didn’t say it, but I could hear it. He was just down and out of it. I hated that call with all my emotions. Hated it for him. Hated it for me. The worse part is I feel I didn’t do a good job of being on the phone. One, it’s one in the morning when he calls. I’m asleep. Two, we just spoke the night before, I didn’t really have that much more to tell him and I feel like an idiot telling him about the dumb stuff I did during the day: errands, watched a movie, made dinner, clean house. Surely, he wanted more than that? Or needed more than that. I don’t know it was such a bummer.

It wasn’t until last night when I was laying in my bed that it totally hit me: I so miss him. I know its been a week, but crap. I think the weekend was the hardest. There was no spooning during the night and the morning. There was no Cowboy breath on the back of my neck. There was no date. It was dinner for one. And the shower curtain was always closed.


In happier news: Bev was headed to the hospital early this morning. I’m sitting on my phone waiting for the news. Baby will finally be here. Yahoo!

Command Central

This is how it works: Cowboy calls me and I have to call his mom, dad and one of his brothers. Just call me command central.

Yesterday, while I was in the most boring meeting of my life, Cowboy called and left me a message that he was in Country A (he cannot tell me where he is) and then possibly going to Country B or straight into Iraq. It was the sweetest message ever, if I say so. From there, I’m to call the family members.

Let me point out this task would normally annoy me. Getting it up and talking to family that are not my family is no fun. I don’t even like talking on the phone to my aunts. I know. Rude? Not, really. Its just the same old small talk. “Where do you work now?” “You married, yet?”, “Kids?”, “You like it over there?”. Same questions, same answers. And then there are the uncomfortable silences – where you have run out of things to say to each other but only a minute has passed. What to do? “So…I hear youse guys got a lot of rain” is what they usually say next.

Calling Cowboy’s family wasn’t really as anticipating as a trip to Coldstone Creamery. I really want to put an effort into each call I make. Cowboy and his family are both depending on me to deliver his news. I don’t want to fail him. And I want him to be proud of his command central. I could just text them the news or make it a short, brief call, “hello. Here’s the news. We’re done. Bye” Nah - I’m going to give it my all.

First call – the dad. Did I tell you that Cowboy’s dad lives in Salt Lake City? He does. When I was there we tried really hard to meet up but since I work for non-planners, it didn’t really work out. Something always popped up to stop the meet from happening. Never fear, he will be in Dallas for a 5 hour layover in 2 weeks and I’ll get my chance then. We’ll talk about that later, I am sure of it. I’ve never met his dad but we’ve spoken on the phone about three times. He reminds me of my grandfather. Yelling into the phone and the call is always cut off, followed by two more attempts at using the cell phone to reconnect only to start the conversation from scratch. He is a sweet man from what I can tell over the phone. I called and our three phone calls/ one conversation lasted for 15 minutes. He had a ton of questions. Why? Cowboy forgot to call him and say goodbye before he left! His poor dad still thought Cowboy was in America. Sheesh, boys.

Then, I called his mom. This woman seriously would have us married before the end of the year. I can feel her enormous love for me over the phone. And to think, she was the one I was the most worried about before meeting her. Somehow, I got caught up in a half hour conversation with her. She was telling me how happy and grateful Cowboy was when I made buffalo chicken lasagna. She told me she told him, that he was lucky to have a ‘contemporary woman cooking and looking after him’ – how I didn’t laugh when she told me this, I don’t know. I so need to remember that for our vows or something.

Lastly, was his brother. You know how you have a group of friends (or maybe your family is like this) and you tell one friend something and its not a secret but you kinda somehow forget to tell the other friends and they find out anyway from the original friend who knew? Did you follow that?

That’s how my conversation went with his brother. Turns out he is waiting to renew his lease until Cowboy comes back. Why? To see if Cowboy (and I) move out to Phoenix, if that happens he wants to move out closer to where we’ll be.

WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.

1. Yes, I kinda already know that Cowboy would not mind living in Phoenix because that’s where his brothers are. And if he moves with his company, the position (not offered to him, yet, he is just in talks with his would-be boss) pays a 50% raise from what he makes now.

2. This was all talk to me. Cowboy has been talking about it since December. I don’t take talks like this seriously until there is an offer. But his brother is holding off lease renewals – so what does he know, that I don’t? I so doubt we would move. Highly doubt it but I couldn’t tell his brother that.

Command central, what do we do? I can tell you I’m definitely looking forward to the next round of calls.

CD Project: DMX’s And Then There was XReason I bought the CD: Ha! I never bought this. This is one of those, I borrowed from a boyfriend and then kept it forever after. And I won’t lie, every time I hear, “What’s My Name”, I think of driving in the car with Brian. And since there is no shame, that’s my favorite track on the CD. I think its perfectly okay to reminisce about that.

Routinely Me

First, I've had more than one email if my electric bill was one complete cycle, to answers those and Bev: I believe so. The bill states that billing started April 2 and the meter reading was April 25. 23 days, I think that's an entire cycle. I will let you all know next month - even though that bill should just be lower because it's just me in our apartment now. We'll see.

Secondly, at the beginning of every school year you could most definitely find a down to the minute routine written by me for me. I'd find comfort in mapping out my daily routine. I wouldn’t say that I’m an anal, but I’m very precise when it comes to my daily routine.

6:00 – 6:15am: Wake up, change into running gear, make up the bed, lay out day’s outfit on the bed, run.

6:45 – 7:00am: Check mail, pack up my work bags and grab CD.

7:00am: Watch Today Show and make lunch (This is the only task I do while watching TV)

7:15am: Shower, dress, make-up, hair and accessorize

7:40am: Double check I have everything for the day and leave for work.

8:00am: Work. I typically aim to get to work before eight. I like the peace and quiet at the office before everyone storms in with meetings, notes, follow ups, etc. There is something to be said about being the first to arrive in your department.

12:00ish: Lunch. I eat at my desk most days. I’m trying really hard not to eat as much fast food as I have before. One of Cowboy’s goals when he comes back is to eat healthier. I figure if I start now, it won’t be so cold turkey when he returns. I also eat alone…I don’t know what it is about my office, but it’s pretty much unwritten rule that nobody leaves their cubicle. Ever. Except for meetings. I rarely see anyone leave the building for lunch together, unless they are doing so behind my back. Oh?

4:30 – 5:00pm: Leave work (if it’s not a day where I’ve already sneaked out)

5:15ish: I either stop at a grocery store or Target for essentials needed or go straight home. If I go straight home, I look to see what to cook for the night.

5:30pm: Depending on what’s happening for dinner and how long it takes, I usually use this time to change clothes, put my cell phone on charge (only if needed), call a friend, etc.

5:45pm: Eat. Yes. I must be old. I like to eat an early dinner. Oprah once said if you eat before 7pm, it makes the world of difference for weight maintenance. I believe she is right. Since I’m a dessert gal, I eat my dinner early and then can get a dessert in before seven.

6:00pm: This is where it can get off routine: I either plant my butt down for some serious couch potato-ness which includes watching TV, starting with the syndicated repeats of King of Queens and then leading into whatever is on TV that night. Or I read a book or magazine until a must see TV show comes on. Or I dive right into a project.

9:00pm: Wash my face; change into PJs, climb into bed. I do the rest of my TV viewing from bed between nine and whenever I want to go to bed.

11:00pm – 12:00am: Bedtime is usually somewhere between. Goodnight.


CD Project: Oh Lordy I promise y’all my entire collection is not made up of singles. It just so happened that most of them ended up together in my library. Fiona Apple’s Criminal.
Reason I bought the CD: Criminal. And I must have been into buying CD singles.
Favorite track: There are 2 different songs on the CD: Criminal and a live version of Sleep to Dream. I remember that I had no idea what Sleep to Dream was and now (and then) I like it more than Criminal.