So...my mom is coming to visit over the holiday. She's arriving here in Dallas, Christmas Eve and then will leave the Saturday after Christmas. There may be more to that story - which I will share soon as I get the go ahead.
Moving on...Before the holidays even came around, Cowboy and I discussed how his family would come visit us for Thanksgiving and my mom would come on Christmas. Well, my mom is holding up to her end of it. His family didn't, not so much.
Did I tell you guys about this? I don't think I did. Here's the breakdown: Cowboy's mother and brother were supposed to drive up here, they live in Tyler - so it's about a 2 hour drive. Well, Cowboy's mom decided that she wanted to spend the holiday with her parents in Waco. I didn't blame her. Her parents are much much older than my grandparents. With this decision, it was assumed that Cowboy's younger brother would go as well. He decided not to and he is sixteen and just dropped out of school (OMG - I have to tell you guys that one, too!!) so he can make his own decisions, thank you very much.
In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, younger brother never expressed any interest in coming to Dallas until a couple days prior. He asked if he could come up and bring a girl with him. Cowboy told him straight up no. To the girl. Cowboy didn't want any funny business happening on his watch. The night before Thanksgiving, younger brother called and said that he was going to spend the night out with a friend and then drive up to Dallas in the morning.
When noon hit and there was no younger brother (and he wasn't answering his cell phone) we got our answer. So we thought. About 30 minutes before we sat down to eat, younger brother calls and asks if he can still come and bring a different friend with him - this one, a boy. I had several problems with it from the get go. Cowboy had to think it out. It boiled down to this trip looked like an excuse for younger brother to get to Dallas and do some partying or escape with his friends. We are not down with that. Cowboy felt badly and told him no. To the friend. We got another answer, younger brother wouldn’t come up then. See, yeah, doesn’t it look like he was just using us to get a trip to Dallas with his buddies? Seriously, the boy is sixteen years old - what could you possibly do? On a holiday! And I am not about having other people's kids at my house. You never know what's going to happen.
That said. You snooze, you lose.
My mom booked her ticket and she is definitely coming here for Christmas. We live in a one bedroom/ den, 980 square foot apartment. The den has three walls; so it is open. When we have overnight guests, we set them up in our living room and their bags in our den. To boil it down for you guys, we can only have one guest comfortably. It doesn’t mean I'm not open to more, it's just that you have to know, you'll be sharing space with other people. I don’t think it would be a problem if a bunch of my girlfriends spend the night or if a bunch of people crashed to avoid driving home after a night of drinking. For a planned visit for my mom, not so much, you know. She's my parent. I'm not crowding her in there with anyone not related to her. Especially a sixteen year old boy! Cowboy doesn't get it.
So, back to the younger brother: Cowboy's mom is spending Christmas with her husband's family (their step-dad) so younger brother is again making his own choice and not doing it. I can write an entire post about the crazy but I'm trying to be understanding. I will say this, at sixteen, my ass did whatever my parents wanted me to do. But then again, I was in school like you’re supposed to be (but we will get to that, I promise, later) Younger brother asked Cowboy if he could come up for Christmas. Cowboy said yes. Can you believe? I nearly hit him. WTF.
Cowboy's argument is that its family and what's the big deal? He and his brother can sleep in the living room and my mom and I can take our bedroom. True. But my mom is an early riser (like mother, like daughter) and where I can step over a bunch of sleeping boys in our living room, she cannot. And can I mention how my mom would so not put up with their crazy video gaming all day long? Oh heck no. And they'll take over the living room - our common space. So whenever my mom would like to relax and enjoy TV or be in the living room - she can't. She'll be imprisoned to our bedroom because the boys will either be sleeping off their gaming marathon from the night before or they will be gaming. I know this.
I'm sorry but that boy had his chance and he blew it. I'm not compromising my mom's comfort and vacation for this. She planned a vacation to visit us, not bunk with a sixteen year old. So, we talked about it. Cowboy is going to tell younger brother that he can come up this weekend (just, great) and explain to him that my mom will be here and things wont be the same, if he were to come on Christmas. Buuuuuuuuuuut, Cowboy is not discouraging him from coming Christmas because, get this - he just cannot fathom the idea of telling his brother no and having him be all alone on Christmas, so if he still wants to come up on Christmas, he can. WTF.
Internets - how in the world is he not seeing it? What else can I do here?
In my opinion, younger brother doesn’t have to be alone - he can be normal and go be with his mom, but what say do I have? Any advice will be gladly taken in the comments.
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6 comments:
Obviously you're in the right here. And his brother will probably stand you up just like he did Thanksgiving.
What if, when the bro comes for a visit this weekend, you tell him the ground rules for Christmas: 8 AM wake up call and no video games becuase your Mom will be there.
He probably won't want to come then!
-Alex
Boy needs to go with his momma so you can be with yours.
I agree on setting some rules and having Cowboy explaining them himself. Maybe he won't find staying there so appealing after all.
But OMG, quitting school? Deciding what he wants to do for the holidays? WTH?! That's BS. I'm from the same camp as you, for major holidays or whatever, I usually went wherever my parents decided. I don't understand why parents give their children, even teenagers, the option for matters like that.
um.....HE IS SIXTEEN YEARS OLD!!! Since when do you get to decide what to do when you are SIXTEEN???!!! Does he have a JOB? Is he contributing to the household? if so, then ok, make some decisions on your own...BUT, Cowboy does need to set up some rules for that little snot..er...young man. No gaming all night long, and up in the morning. Hey, it's your MOM....make a good impression on her, ya know? act like the adult you're trying to pretend to be. OOPS! did I say that outloud?
I'm hoping badly that the appeal is lost now that he knows my mom will be there and it won't be some free for all for the younger brother. Its a daily discussion in our house, I just seriously want to hit Cowboy over the head so he can see the light. I'm thinking of compromising and offering up just Christmas day - as in he can drive up here that morning and leave that night.
That sounds like a good compromise...I would stick to your guns because your mom is traveling to spend time with you (and Cowboy) and not some 16 year old kid!
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