Wedding Recap

I see a lot of brides to be marking what they liked and didn’t like from weddings they attended while engaged. I’m not engaged (and oh my word, remember that couple that just got engaged, my engagement envy? Holy crap, a save the date/engagement party invitation was waiting for me when I got home last night. The date: January 17, 2009. Talk amongst yourselves on that one.) but I was maid of honor, or co-maid of honor as some other bridesmaid kept reminding me. That’s what happens when you live far away from the action – which is what I reminded her. On with the festivities!

Let’s just start out with the good. Welcome bags were cute. Beach bonfire with s’mores for a get to know everyone activity was fun! My groomsman that walked me down the aisle was hot - thank the Lord, I am not single because he hooked up more than once, more than one woman over the course of three days. Don't you just love the wedding guest gossip? Parting gifts for guests as they left the reception were yummy. The brides gown was stunning.

That was easy, here’s what I didn’t like:
We had to assemble about 150 welcome bags two days prior to the wedding. She had over 300 guests and we were staying at a resort in a beach town so all the guests were out of towners. We didn’t just assemble, we had to go out and buy the bag contents (fruit, cheese, champagne, candies, teas, coffee, champagne flutes); haul it up to our room on the 2nd floor (no elevator) and let me tell you, 7 cases of champagne was not fun carrying up stairs.

Which leads me to, where were the men? The groom and his men rented a house about a mile from the resort. I never saw one of them until the rehearsal. WTF. E hadn’t seen them since Sunday! I’m sorry but why was she stuck welcoming all their guests and lugging heavy items around? Yes, she had bruises on her arms from all this lugging the day of her wedding. Oh, well.

Then, E had the idea that each bag should be custom to each guest. Meaning, if you didn’t like coffee (me) you got tea instead and she only wanted to hand out champagne to a select few. This took up a lot of time when we were assembling. Too much time.

Speaking of time, I have another waster to tell you about: her parting gift. E and her groom tasted the best pie ever(!) at a farmer’s market a long time ago. The pie baker was local to that area of the state and never has done a large order or delivery for that matter. That area of the state was over 2 hours away. Since it was pie, mini pies to hand to guests as a midnight snack, they were perishable and had to be made pretty close to her wedding date.

The day before her wedding, E drove us an hour and a half out to meet the pie baker’s son for the 325 pies. Yes! E didn’t believe it should be one pie per couple and in case something should happen, like an ugly pie, she overshot the count to 325. We spent over 3 hours traveling for pie.

Where this didn’t make sense was one, there were groomsmen doing whatever the F they were doing that I think could have done this and/or the town we met the grandson in was on the way from Sacramento to Aptos – where we were. This meant guests were driving through to get to her wedding. Tons of guest – well, actually 299 guests. I was the only guest not from the Sacramento area.

When we got back to the resort with the pies – we had to box them in cute boxes, stuff a sweet dreams napkin, a thank you note and a fork, then tied with a cute ribbon. 325 of those to be completed before we went to the rehearsal. Yeah, I worked harder at this wedding than I do at my own job.

FYI – half the pies were left at the guest table: some people didn’t like pie and some people didn’t know what they were for. It was sad to see all my hard work handed over to the cleaning crew – what can you do?

There you have it. There were tons of cute ideas – the pies were cute, the bonfire was hella fun, her cake was awesome looking (tasting was something different as I do not like mint and chocolate mixed together), the dinner was alright as somehow lobster still made its way to my plate and a walnut salad! I think there was a conspiracy - remember I'm the only one that didn't get a response card with their invite and she was shocked to balls that I didn't like lobster - how dare I, not like lobster?!? I smell a shellfish conspiracy. Thank goodness I ate like a pig all day and during the after ceremony cocktail hour - where the best ever crab cakes were served. Best. Ever.

But it was so awesome to see my best pal marry her man of the past 5 years and more to see all her friends and family attend the joyous event. When it comes time for me, can someone remind me that my Groom will not be staying a mile away while being MIA and I wont be carrying champagne cases or anything of the sort!