Friends & Foes

You know That Baby – the one I don’t like? Well, I have to admit I like the mom.

I always have – she’s just really loud. Picture Rosie Perez and that’s her, plus she’s a cop. That’s a great mental picture for anyone who has seen Pineapple Express (oh and Little Brownie – my favorite scene has to be the meet the parents scene, I nearly died of laughter beginning to end on that one).

That Baby’s Mama is alright by me. I question her tastes in men but hey, whatever. I’ve made a decision to bury whatever imaginary hatchet between me and Cowboy’s room mate, who is dating and living with That Baby’s Mama. Things will go a lot smoother if I just learn to deal with the fact that he will always be a daft idiot. And Cowboy has named them our Go To Couple. So, you know, you got to do what you got to do.

She and I set up a dinner girls date, leaving That Baby with Cowboy’s room mate. Word. Three other of her cop girlfriends/co-workers joined us. Or I joined them. I was the only non-cop at the table, I had nothing to contribute except my very vivid opinion on cops baiting people (you don’t want to get me started, eh, maybe I do). Did you know that cops bait people into committing crimes? There’s a show about it, I think its called Bait Car or something. Cops plant a nice car, unlocked in a very obvious location in a poor neighborhood. They then sit there and watch the car, hoping that someone steals it. When this happens, they chase down the car and arrest the thief. I have so many problems with this. One, can we find something better to do, like find the murderers and molesters out there? Two, I’m sorry but yes if you plant an unlocked car in the most ghetto neighborhood and it sits there for weeks (once, I saw up to a month) someone will eventually take for their own, thinking this is an abandoned car. I know not most people think this way. But I’m thinking of the out of luck youngster who doesn’t really have anything going for him. He will see the opportunity and then, BAM, he’s been baited. Think of it this way – if you saw $500 on the ground every day you pass it by, aren’t you going to pick it up eventually and I don’t know, keep it? I think I would. Sorry, but I would.

Back to the dinner o’ cops. Or as they sometimes think: God’s gift to the city. I’m not saying all cops, just Cowboy’s room mate and a couple of the girls from last night – you know, because my world is so much safer now that they’re cops. I’m moving on…dinner lasted about three hours. Drinks were involved. We had chit chat about the boys in our lives. They talked about their kids. I talked about how great the fajitas are. Around ten-thirty we all separated. I walked home and the girls went back to That Baby’s Mama’s apartment, the one she shared with Cowboy’s room mate or as he is previously known as CR1.

Here’s a backstory, I’m not sure if I shared it here or not. Back in March, the boys and That Baby’s Mama all went out drinking. I was entertaining our agency that was in town. I got all sorts of drunken text messages that night from Cowboy. The next day, I went over to their apartment and there were about ten holes in the walls throughout the apartment. Turns out CR1 got very angry at That Baby’s Mama and took it out on the walls and a dining room chair. Let me tell you this, if I was her, I’d have dumped his butt right then and there. Are you kidding me? 10 holes! Remember – he is also a cop! Their apartment looked ghetto. So, he has a split personality which isn’t good when it comes to heavily drinking.

I went home, tucked into bed and got online. A half hour later, That Baby’s Mama calls me, hysterically crying. CR1 has been drinking and is saying horrible things to her. She needs a place to spend the night. She and That Baby. Of course, I said yes.

I honestly think she’d do the same for me. Since she’s a cop, I know she wouldn’t have left the situation unless it was that bad. Apparently, it was. But herein enters the paradox. I wanted to ask her tons of questions about the incident but just recently have moved our friendship higher up on the pole. CR1 is Cowboy’s best friend. How much could I really ask? We all know CR1 is not my favorite person so I would have the tendency to take her side no matter what, but then, if they break up, I feel like she is out and I will always be stuck with CR1. But my opinion is that they should break up. I can’t tell her that. That would be crossing a line.

So, we had a sleepover. And I must say, That Baby is ten times better when its sleepy time and in the morning. Oh! The morning, I loooooooved playing with her first thing when I came back from running and she just woke up. She was so fun. Yeah, I need a baby. But good news, maybe this is also the turning point for That Baby and I to become friends too.