Monday, June 30
Allover the Map, Part Two
I rarely regret any decision I've made. The only ones I can think of are work related. I have regretted not taking the position with the event planner because my job now, is just not really up my alley. When I was let go from the law firm, I regretted taking it so personally.
I didn't think visiting New York would affect me and that decision made months ago. And last Tuesday, if I could turn back time, I would. I never think of what could have been if I did move to NYC. Why would I? It's far away and that time has since been tucked away in the corner of my mind.
Driving into town from LaGuardia was a real bitch.
That's the problem with that decision that was made: We weren't allowed to come up and visit the city, see the offices for a "test drive" before making the decision. Plus, they wanted answers in a couple of days. That was really my problem - it takes me a lot longer than that to make up my mind. But I did and then the opportunity was taken away from me because I wasn't 100% sure. Who really is?
But when you get to see what you are missing and its exactly how you dreamt it to be. Well, I had a breakdown. I'm not going to sugar coat it or make myself look cool.
I was in the cab and as soon as we entered Manhattan, boom, tears. I had to pull down my sunglasses really quickly. It just hit me, hard. The bustle, the people, the street vendors. All of it.
I haven't been in over 10 years. 10 years! Everything was pretty much new to me and I was like a first time visitor to a place that practically every young PR/Marketing/Advertising hopeful dreamt of starting out. In college, I sent out over 100's of resumes to the top agencies in New York. Resumes were also sent to the top business companies. Apartments were drooled over. Budgets were made. I was going to make it there, after all.
Then, I started dating people seriously and somehow NYC was not part of their dreams, so it fell to the wayside. At the moment, I so thought those relationships were lasting ever after.
Then, I moved to my affordable New York, Dallas. This was my big city dream coming true. Its why I chose to live downtown and why I choose to run in the city, walk around uptown and turn a nose to suburbia. I'm a city girl.
And then there is this past year and its irony. Big, fat chance to move to New York and fulfill that young girl in me's dream. Except we're not young anymore and a truer love is at my side. Yes, there was an uncertainty of making it in New York.
And that, got me in trouble.
Last Tuesday, I cried it out. I mourned the young girl's dream, rightfully so. It took me a couple of hours to buck up, leave my hotel room and enjoy the city. I took a stroll and enjoyed the best $27 crab cake salad & fries ever. I even treated myself and had a coke. I don't drink soda pop. But that young girl did.
Next: The NBA Draft took place in my hotel!!