I may be acting like a brat, but all I want is to be happy in whatever I choose. All the time. Whether it's an entree at a restaurant, a new clothing item, a boyfriend, a book or a job. That's just me. And don't tell me that's impossible. I'm sick of naysayers. Each time I tell someone that I was so happy with my last job - they kind of are in disbelief. So it's no shocker to them when I say, I don't want to just accept some job. 'Nuff said?
One piece of advice I've been given by more than one person - is to accept the corporate job and keep looking for another. WTF. That to me is like having one leg out from day 1. It's like settling for the boyfriend just to have a boyfriend but keeping your eyes akimbo for a better boy. Why would you do that?
Fortunately, I'm not in a position where I need to just accept any job that comes my way. Unfortunately, I've been offered 2 jobs - both that I like equally. Even more unfortunate, I'm terrible at just picking one. I kinda want to do both. I wish I could smoosh them together, then I'd have my ultimate job.
If I didn't like either one as much as the other - this would be easy. If I wasn't excited about either of them, I'd tell them both no and move on with the hunt. Not so much the case. I feel that both have come to me and I'm not going to find anything quite like them.
Here's the problem: I want to do event planning BUT I need the security of the corporate world. Financial security, health benefit security and the thought that they are at least very profitable. Event planner? Hmm. Honestly, she can go a couple months without an event on the books. And where will that lead me?
As you may have guessed, decision has yet to be made. And thank goodness lots of items are kinda in the way that are buying me time. Sucg as, the corporate recruiter is based in New Jersey; so getting items to him are slow in getting there, regular mail. It's also hard to catch him, he is always on his cell phone running around to his different clients. And event planner has been in New York City.
No rushes here. But it's been over a week. Personally? I feel that's not good.
It's just one of my vices - cannot make life changing decisions in a snap. Kick me. I don't know how it happened that I am like this.
Do you think I like being like this? Heck. No.
It's gotten me into trouble in the past. I've probably missed plenty of opportunities.
I wish I had the guts and gile to pick something. To take that chance. To let the other option go without a second thought.
Yeah. I was hating myself so much yesterday due to this lack of decision making skill. Part of me feels like I have to let someone down, part of me feels like I know which is better for me, part of me feels like I need to buck it up.
I just can't.
I'm trying though. I promise. I'm trying not to make this topic of converstation every time I speak to someone, but right now its the only thing on my mind.
Ooh and the title of this post has to do with a new website (actually two) that I've found. I made a commitment to live my life with more happiness. And I found that both of these sites are great tools for doing so. First is - The Happiness Project. Her tips are great for simple additions to your life to bring happiness in. The other is Zen Habits. Great site for taking a slower pace in such a fast paced world. Just because everyone else is driving fast, doesn't mean they are getting there faster.