A Great Thoughtless Weekend

I vowed not to think too much, if at all, about the job situation. I promised to not stress out about it until I find out of I'm one of the ones they will extend a New York job offer to - you see, not everyone will be offered New York. I met with a HR representative on Friday. Only a handful of possible job offers will be made. Hmm. So I'll wait till then to stress the F out.

Now? Now, there is Cowboy. And he is perfect. This weekend I realized I cannot stop looking at him. Hmm.

His younger brother is in town visiting. He, Cowboy, Cowboy's room mates and their significant others, and I all went to the State Fair. And I love the State Fair.

Scary rides, fried food of all types, corny dogs, Big Tex and the ferris wheel. Cowboy and I decided we would definitely be coming back so we can jump on the ferris wheel alone. Well, well if that wheel is a rockin'...

OK. I looooooooove him.

And his brother. Oh my, it's like witnessing Cowboy when he was that young. He is so presh.

Today me and the brother spent some alone time together, while we ran some odd errands and picked up lunch for Cowboy who took the day shift. I have to say, I felt very parental. And it wasn't so bad.

Maybe that's the hormones talking. Today is my 1st day on birth control. Ever. (too much information?)

I swear about 10 minutes into the brother and I hanging out, I swear my biological clock/alarm set. I ain't kidding. Then to see Cowboy with him, is like whoa. This is what he will be like as a dad. I know, I know.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

But last night when we went back to Cowboy's place so they could play Halo 3. The younger brother had to explain to all us old fogies how the game worked (crap - I remember explaining Super Mario Brothers to my parents. And SMB is like Atari compared to Halo 3. I felt so old) Anyways - Cowboy was sitting in their leather recliner and I glanced at him. Him looking on, trying to take in and understand how the game works, him looking at his brother with older brother pride...

There is enough years between them that it's practically a parental pride. Well, I saw something in his look - and immediately saw him as a future father. And it was hot.

Thank goodness for the birth control, that's not happening any time soon. But darn it, too because I wouldn't mind so much.

Eh, maybe it's the hormones.

Yes - let's blame the hormones.

We've Got a Fuck Shit Motherfucker Shit Situation

Yeah. It's been one of those days.

The company I work for was sold today. It was sold to a company based in New York City. I was in Houston while it happened.

That sucked. I hated being out of the office while our team was briefed and debriefed on the situation. I had to hear it all by second hand. From several different people. All with a different take. None, my boss...

To sum it all up: We have two days to decide if we would like to move to New York City. If you don't you have a month to find a new job or collect severance.

October 31. D-day.

Now, that. Sucks.

If I were a few years younger...YIPPE, YAHOO, NYC! I'm a'coming - LOOK OUT!

But it's not a few years back and I'm not that young anymore. I heard the news at 8am, since then I've been going back and forth in my head, different scenarios. Would I move? Do I want to be jobless, yet again, searching and suffering the heartache of looking for, yet, another job?

Then, then - oh not to sound crazy stupid girly about it: Cowboy.

I know. I know. It's been 4 months and I'm factoring him into my decision?
What is wrong with me?

Does it sound stupid?

Then, I said it out loud. To him.

Fuck Shit Motherfucker Shit.

I thought it would be better to be honest about what my thoughts were. And...it wasn't so bad as you'd think it'd be.

First, he didn't flinch. (Good sign)
Second, he looked back at me with his perfect, adoring eyes. (that's always a good sign no matter what the situation)
Third, he said, "We can move to Phoenix together"

Whoa...What?!?

In my heart confession to him, I told him that if I turned down New York and stayed here with a severance package. I'd need to find a job ASAP because I don't think I can be without a job within a year timeframe just short of not having one. If worse came to worst, I'd most likely move to Phoenix with my mom. And that would put me right back at square one: without Cowboy.

Buuuut Cowboy is from Phoenix. His brothers and grandparents live there now. His job's company is based out of Phoenix. There is a position open, right this very minute, that he has been eyeing.

In Phoenix.

Hence his shocking sentence. To me.

Then he went on to say, that he doesn't think that's a crazy thought because if he and I didn't work out, it's not like we don't have support to fall back on. Being our families.

WOW.

Have I told y'all I love him? Have I? He told me on his Birthday Eve. Uhm hmm. And it took me about a 5 minute pause to say it back to him. Not because I don't feel the same way, but because I was trying to determine his blood alcohol content when he said those 3 words. Because those 3 words can rock someone's world. They are the best thing that you want to hear at times. They can change everything.

After seeing he was clearly semi-sober and it was not a drunk 'love you', I said it back. Around 4am. Neither one of us has repeated it, since, but I felt it today. Yes, I did.

Now, what do I do about my job? Fuck.

Disappointment has Hit

Well that didn't take long, did it? Uhm hmm. So, let's get straight to it. I promise to be as neutral as I can so you can honestly gather your own opinion.

My good friend B is getting married in October, on a Saturday in San Antonio.
The Thursday before her wedding, Willie Nelson is playing live in San Antonio. She, her family and wedding party are all going. And, Bev - who has nothing to do with the wedding, she's just my friend and I told her, so she is coming with.

Back when we bought the Willie Nelson tickets, I only knew Cowboy for 2 months - maybe a wee bit more, I cannot remember. Foreseeing a sell out, I bought two tickets. One for me, one for him. I already planned on asking him to be my date to the wedding.

I should've thought about his crazy work schedule, so I would've been prepared and could've had a plan B.

The tickets were not that expensive. So I planned to make it his birthday present.

About a month ago, I invited him to the wedding and Willie Nelson. He was all a go. A solid yes. Penned in on the calendar.

Two weeks ago, a 'but' came up...he has reserves the weekend before the wedding, so the Saturday of the wedding is naturally his Saturday to work. And he uses his vacation time for time off after his reserve weekends, so he has practically none to use for B's wedding weekend.

He flat out asked me, which was more important for him to attend (not knowing the Willie tickets would've been his birthday present). I had to be honest: B's wedding.

For one reason only: Everyone I know that will be at the wedding, is in the wedding. I want a date to sit next to, hold hands with, dance with and such. It's a wedding! Can I get an amen from the female readers?

Buuuut, what I really want and cannot tell him for saving myself sounding like a psycho fool: I really, really, really want him to meet my friends. And I think it'd be better if he did that on the night of Willie Nelson. Because Bev. And everyone else will be in full party mood and I think it may be better for B to get to know him that night versus the night of her wedding when she has tons of guests to attend to that night. Know what I selfishly mean?

So, he took what I said, God bless his heart, and now has that Saturday and Sunday off. Which I am so happy that I have a hot date for the wedding. I really am. But Bev? We're so gonna have to plan a brunch, lunch, or early dinner Saturday or Sunday morning. I'm so not kidding. Besides the wedding, that weekend will be all about you, baby. Because its also her freaking birthday weekend. Oh and X - him, too.

I guess to be honest, I shouldn't say disappointment hit. Cowboy did hear me out when I said the wedding was more important that's because he is a really good boyfriend (yeah, that's right) - oh, you thought I wouldn't add that in here, didn't you?

Ha!

The Girlfriend 5

I desperately need to stop eating and start running everyday again. For real.

I missed out on the Freshman 15. But each and every time, I get a boyfriend (yeah, that's right) I tend to gain about 5 pounds. How the heck does that happen? I know its from all the food you eat on dates that last forever because you don't know time exists. But don't you think that all the new fresh sex you're having would combat that?

Geez.

Things are still perfect with Cowboy. Even when he does wrong, he is perfect.

Wrong?

Well...I could tell you how I think he will disappoint me in not attending a very special San Antonio trip with me in October. But, since there is no final decision yet, I won't vent about it until the pending disappoint happens. If it does.

But I can tell you the Cowboy shaved his head bald! W.T.F. do guys think that is cool?

Cowboy had a very cool shaved buzzed cut going on. VERY COOL. Very, I look hard core, but not really kind of look. Then I met him & his friends the other day for dinner - EEK - as soon as I saw him, I kinda wanted to back out of the restaurant. For real.

Why? Why? Why?

He told me it's his birthday look & he is keeping it this way until the day after his birthday.

Thank the Lord his birthday is Sunday!

Don't get me wrong - he still looks cute. In a Mr. Clean kinda way. Or like a skin head - if you think skin heads are cute and I'll admit the only cute skin head I've seen is Ed Norton in American History X - HOLLA, how hot was he in that?

Speaking of birthdays. I hate, hate, hate that his birthday is first before mine. Crap. So, it'll be the first gift giving in our relationship. Now, I'm all about gifts. I love shopping for them, I love picking out the right thing, and I love wrapping. I'm a Hallmark junkie when it comes to gift wrap and cards.

My problem was I didn't want to get him something that just screamed, "I spent all this time looking for the perfect present for my boyfriend (yeah,that's right)" and I didn't want to spend a lot. (because of the pending disappointment which I'll share exactly when I'm disappointed. Or not.) Bev gave me a great guy gift idea - a basket full of his fave beer and snacks. I was all gung-ho on it when it hit me that Cowboy has been talking about this certain Dallas steak restaurant for weeks. W.T.F. was my problem? Gift. Solved.

Then, BFF was selling hockey tickets - crap to me and my 'ooh that'd be perfect, too'.

So, yeah hockey tickets and steak dinner. I'd pretty much say I'm a good girlfriend (yeah,that's right)even though I've gained 5 pounds in the process*




*I am so fasting until we have this steak dinner. Fasting and running twice a day! Yeah, I'm crazy, get over it.

That's Golightly, Bitch!

OK - I'm just going to say what everyone else is not saying. I enjoyed seeing Britney back on the scene. But, I so wouldn't call that a comeback! I think her 'performance' only sucked because everyone in the world hyped it up so much. And the king of all that hype: MTV. Seriously.

I think Whoopi summed it up pretty good this morning, on The View, "Maybe she just doesn't want to do this anymore"

A-men.

I agree. I don't think performing is in her heart as much as it was, back in the day. I think she is just out there now for the fans, media and/or contractural reasons?!?!

I can admit, those VMAs sucked. Every year I fall for the media hype and each year I've been disappointed. W.T.F. Performances in the suites for all of 30 seconds worth of song? And did they give out more than three awards? I so don't remember. And ugh Jennifer Garner - did she really?!? And can I just say this, where, what and how did Dr. Dre get so buffed? He looked like he was wearing a a He-Man costume underneath his clothes! Ew. The best parts for me were: JT and Timbaland.

I hearts me some JT, as we know. But who didn't love when he straight out called out MTV and told them to play more videos? Not just once, but twice! Do you think MTV will listen?

My Weekend was Sorta Like Christmas

Last weekend the pact was to live it up. This weekend I had to lay low. That was the plan, at least. Until I just had to go to happy hour Friday night. Darn you, half price wine!

This weekend, Cowboy was supposed to be out of town. Twice. At first, he was going to go visit a friend of his, out of town. Then a different out of town friend had an accidental death. The plan changed for him to go to that town to pay his respects. Then his car overheated knocking out both those plans.

Was it wrong for me to think it was like freaking Christmas for me? I got the news during happy hour and I couldn't have been happier. I know, I'm a selfish bitch when it comes to stuff like this - but hear me out. Y'all know his schedule. We only get to go out during the weeks. Those times, its just us because my friends and his have normal hour jobs and cannot make it out or just don't want to in the middle of the week. Which is fine. And then there is me - seeing him in the weekdays means staying up late and going to work early. Wash and repeat.

For him to be in town, have the days off, and it's the weekend? Heck yeah, it is Christmas up in this blog.

Like a good girlfriend - I offered to pick him up once he got off work. At 7am on Saturday morning. Uhm hmm. We went back to bed together and it was great - until some bagpipe playing fireman parade decided to troop through the 'hood. I don't know what it was all about it, but it was a lot of loud. We were awake. We split up while he went to the gun range with his friends and I came home to mine: Hello, October issue of Lucky!

I invited my friend, E who we hooked up last weekend, to go with us to BW2's. Yeah, back at that, again. But I'm not sure if I told you that Cowboy and his roomies have free wings for a year, so it's the go-to place for them. Pluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus - we are the start of college football. HOOK 'EM. If the darn A&M game didn't go into triple OT, I wouldn't have been as drunk as I was. We were waiting around for the UT game to start and the darn Aggies were taking forever to end their game, so not paying attention to them, I could only entertain myself with beer and NTN Trivia. Which is the best bar thing, ever.

Drunk before 9pm on a Saturday, kinda ruins your plans of meeting anyone anywhere for any type of bar activity. I (We) had great intentions of doing so, but once I took a shower and cleaned up, sitting at home sounded so good. Lucky, me Cowboy thought the same. Yeehaw. We called it a Blockbuster night, which awesomely turned into a let's do IT all night long with the best ever CD as our soundtrack. I must say, doing IT to Damien Rice's O cd --- o, o, o!

As I'm an early riser no matter what time I peace out to sleep (4AM! Yeah, we finally stopped IT at 4am, I so deserve the Girlfriend of the Year Award), I woke up at 9am. Since Cowboy was still passed out (I can teach you, but I'd have to charge) I snuck out of his place and back to mine.

I needed time away. We have plans to see each other tonight. But I can't just lay around doing nothing all day. Ew. Plus I have loads of TV to catch up on & can't do it at his place (y'know, Wedding Central and Platinum Wedding marathons. I love me some WE TV).

And, can I ask, has anyone seen Tim Gunn's Guide to Style? Can he come redo my closet, please?

3 Months and Counting

It's officially three months til my birthday.

Thirty.

The way I'm looking at it is I have three months to keep saying "Twenty_____". And believe you me, I'm going to be saying it. A. Lot.

Word.

And it's not going to be my birthday but my B'day. Following in Beyonce's footsteps. That's how I roll.

Twenty-nine.

Every year I kinda make my birthday a big deal. It's my day, I can do what I want, right? Last year, I didn't do a darn thing because I knew I'd be doing it big this year. And what's exciting about turning twenty-nine? Seriously? I think it sounds more depressing than thirty.

Get this...

I'm not even feeling depressed or in mourning for thirty. Why would I? I'm looking forward to it. Forward to getting the rest of my life. Moving forward. Seeing what's in store for me. I have a ring which is inscribed with "Our fate is our destiny"...I cannot wait for my fate and destiny. Days are not going by quick enough.

What's the rush?

Life. A house. Babies. Or baby. Mostly, life.

The good new is I made a decision on how I want to spend it. In Lake Tahoe.

Anyone? Anyone?

I was born in December and I cannot think of anything better to do for a winter birthday than to have a winter vacation. I want all my friends there - guys and girls. I've got guy friends too and most of them are the significant other of my friends. I think it'd be cool for everyone to use it as their vacay as well. And its my birthday and I want to be kissed on it. Really kissed. I want all my friends there. That's my pre-birthday wish. That and world peace, of course.

The Co-Stars

I am so loving The Hills at this very moment. It's my television crack. I'll watch the same episode over & over until the next new one comes on the following week. And I'll admit to you, I kinda like Heidi.

But more so than that, I really really really love Lo and Whitney. Can we get them their own show? Because Lauren is stealing their thunder.

Every time Lo is on - it's a good night. Her wit and humor cracks me up. All I have to say is: Justin Bobby.

But then there is Whitney and her truth. She just tells it like it is. And can her outfits get any cuter? Why are we being bored to tears with the Lauren vs Heidi/Spencer drama when here is Whitney and Lo?

Heidi & Spencer are entertaining. In that high school romance way. Did Spencer really break up with Brody because Brody was hanging out with Lauren? Yes - high school drama is more mature than that. But what boy breaks up with another boy? Spencer is so high maintenance.

OK - I could go on and on forever on this show, but I have a new sweet Cowboy story to share. Yeah, another one. I have to share with y'all because my friends are thisclose to tuning me out or full blown ignoring my giddy happy lovesick self.

Last night, we went to this bar across from his apartment. I really don't like this bar. Last year on Super Bowl Sunday, our brunch club had brunch there. It's a sports bar, so we thought we'd continue the theme. The fact that it's a sports bar should have clued us in...the brunch food sucked. But off that tangent and back to last night -

Every Tuesday night, they serve all you can eat free pizza. The pizza is ten times better than their waffles. And pizza and beer are a pretty good way to ending the first day back to work from a 3 1/2 day weekend. Wouldn't you say? Oh gosh, some may read this and think I'm some sort of barely there alcoholic? Please, don't. It's just an odd phase ;)

And back to the bar and the free pizza (can I just finish this story already?!?) We're there and I'm sitting next to some random guy who is there alone. Like, y'all know, I like to chat it up with people. Oh and FYI. Bartender? He was some hot news, very hot news. I'm just saying. If you live in Dallas - check out Frankie's bar and check out Perry, the bartender - HOTNESS.

So...Cowboy and I are sitting there eating pizza and drinking beer next to random stranger who is talking to us. Now, I don't remember what the random guy said to us, but Cowboy's reply was, "Dude, I'm 27 years old and this girl right here is the most amazing person I've ever known"

WHOA. Really? Moi?

With that, I decided to take him to my secret ice cream stop. It is the best. And I never tell anyone of it. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I like it non-crowded as it is now. OR maybe its because I like that I found it and it's super cute. I took him there. And I swear the $3 custom made ice cream sandwich he had was his best night ever.

Don't you just love, love? I do.

Conclusion: Best Labor Day Weekend, Ever

I'm not going to exaggerate: This weekend was the best Labor Day Holiday weekend of my adult working life.

I'm positive it had a lot to do with the pact. Yeah. I'm sure of it.

I came through all the way, was tipsy or beyond every night or day.

Sunday, Cowboy and I met his friends at Buffalo Wild Wings. Does anyone know why they call it BW3s? Shouldn't it be BW2s? Anywho - drinking did happen. And when you've had 3 big beers, you may start to slur or slip...
Don't the two names, Trent and Clint, sound somewhat similar? They both have that "ent" sound at the end. One of those names is BFF and the other is Cowboy's name. Yours truly got it mixed it and yes, called Cowboy by BFF's name.

Thank the Lord, Cowboy doesn't know anything about my thing for BFF. I easily was able to spin it. It's what I do, I'm in P.R. But too bad it became the running joke of the night...

After BW2s, we met BFF's friends at different bar sans BFF. (Thank you, thank you, again) More beer, more beer. And this was just the warm up; this night we were also hooking one of my friends up with one of Cowboy's friends. And that is always entertaining.

We moved the party to another bar where the matchmaking would commence. This bar has dancing. A few drinks in me - scratch that - I love dancing. I could be sober and I would still dance my booty off at some bar. Good music is all I need.

Matchmake? Successful.
Then a funny thing happened on the way home: Cowboy's roomie started drilling me. In such a way that you'd think I just met him. It was odd. He asked me what I thought about Cowboy and one of his odd habits. Then he asked me how we really met. He wanted to hear my version of it, even though roomie was there that night.
Then...oh, gosh, then this is the part where I pretended and am still pretending to have been so tipsy/drunk that I don't remember...but I so do.

Cowboy pulled me back so we could walk alone. Now, he is what I think is drunk - maybe he was pretending too. He told me, "I heart you". I almost threw up then and just now writing it. WAIT. (Not so) Incredible used to say that shit to me all the time and I knew deep down it was a way not to say I love you; but his dumbass thought it was the same thing. Hearing (Not so) Incredible say those words made flames want to come out of my head. I hated it.
Then Cowboy stops me and says, "I really really like you. Wait. You don't understand." And believe you me, I'm playing dumb like you don't know what. He continues, "I really want to say something to you, but you'll get scared. I know you will. But I really like you"
UHM HMM...
Roomie interrupts. W.T.F.

Come up with your own conclusion because I've been reliving that moment every minute since.

And moving along.

Sunday was not Labor Day, but JT Day. As in Justin Timberlake. I got the girls together for a watching party. Not to be un-American about it, I created a Bubbleque menu. A bubbleque is basically BBQ with champagne. Lots of champagne.

Living the pact. Living the pact.

And I must say, I heart JT more now than ever. Yeah I saw him live where I swear still to this day he looked me right in the eye. But he was even more so precious last night on HBO. Can his attitude be any cuter? And patron shot on the stage? Hell. Yeah.

I couldn't ask for a better ending to this weekend. I feel asleep (or passed out) on Cowboy's couch, in his arms.

Intermission

On Friday night I made a pact with myself and a friend: To live up each night and be at the very least tipsy every night of our 3 1/2 day holiday weekend.

Two down. Two to go.

I don't know how alcoholics do it. The drinking is not so bad...but the hangovers, oh my gosh. Thursday night I experienced a hangover at midnight due to happy hour. Saturday I was hungover at 4pm - before I even got to the main event at night.

I'll start with my crazy Thursday night - which was not part of the pact, but the start of all the drinking. I went to happy hour straight after work. We needed one. There have been rumors going around that our company may be sold...EEK! Morale has been very low around the office, so we all decided on a pick me up. One margarita, three glasses of wine and I was pretty much done. Somehow, when I got home around 9pm, the best idea ever was for me to go running. W.T.F. I don't remember the run, but I know I went. I woke up on the floor of my living room in my sweat soaked work out clothes and a hangover.

I shook it off because the next day was half day Friday & I was going to spend half of it with Cowboy (yeah, I got over my crazy selfish baby stage. Let me just say, that night I realized how I was really picking a fight for nothing. He was very apologetic and he said he felt horrible. We did end up having dinner at my place. But I felt guilty for taking him away from his friends - but, as we know, he made the plans with me first. But still, I felt like I was that girl. Ew.) After work he and I met up for some va-va-voom boom boom. He then had to go to work and I met some friends at this bar called TABC. That's when the pact was made and the weekend o' fun began.

Saturday I met the same group of people at their pool. Sun and beer. Oy. I'm a shade darker and a 3 pounds lighter - thanks to the crazy drunken run Thursday night and I am loving it. Loving it because I was sitting at a pool with no cares in the world. For all my brain knew - we were on vacay.

and then came the night...oh my gosh. Saturday night.

I'll share with you that I came thisclose to dangerously flirting my butt off - no, scratch that, I did flirt my butt off, I came thisclose to hooking up. And that was not good. It was a friend of mine's 30th birthday and they planned a huge dinner and pub crawl. At dinner I met this really cute guy, who marked his territory by placing his drink next to where I was going to sit. Uhm hmm. Then I started with the chardonnay. Two glasses later, a shot and a champagne toast. I was ready to PARTY. And that we did.

On the chartered bus, they has jello shots for the ride to bar #1. Jello shots made with Everclear. Crap - it was like 1996 on that bus. Bar #1 I think I had two beers (and if you are counting, yes, I've had every form of alcohol at this point). Cute boy then became my buddy - we needed the buddy system to make sure that we all ended back up on the bus after each stop.

Back on the bus - this trip they had champagne for the ride to bar #2. I'll tell you right now, birthday girl is pretty much done and drinking water. Bar #2, I had margaritas. O.M.G. How I'm alive right now is beyond me. Cute boy now becomes very touchy - touchy. And my dumb hungover ass didn't put any underwear on under the dress I was wearing because 1. I was hungover and in a rush to get dressed. Is that even an excuse? and 2. The dress was jersey and I hate panty lines. So, lets just say, he was feeling around and discovered my commando-ness.

Back on the bus to bar #3 - they had vodka tonics for the trip. I know when to say no. Sometimes. This last bar is a place to dance. All I remember is teaching some random girl how to pop, drop, and lock it. And I specifically remember Cute Boy leaving. Thank goodness. I would never ever cheat on Cowboy - but just for the record, we still have not spoken a word of exclusivity, yet. So...I figure what went down last night was alright.

Tonight I'm going out with a big group and Cowboy (yeah) and we plan to tear it up because we ain't got shit to do tomorrow. Tomorrow night I'm hosting a JT party. Let the drinking resume...