I will admit that I am kinda nervous for this semi-blind date tomorrow evening. I cannot remember for the life of me what he looks like. And I asked the girls that were with me the night we met him. They have no clue either.
What to do?
We met a group of really fun guys that night and he is sure to be part of that group. If all else, he is sure to be fun, no?
One friend told me she hopes its not the guy who was really pissed off at me.
WHAT? WHO? WHEN?
I didn't even remember that. Supposedly a guy took me to the bar and bought me a shot. Supposedly my drunk self was acting very smart and turned down the drink (that in itself is a shocker. Free drink. Turned down?) Supposedly that boy became very upset that I wouldn't take a shot with him.
Hmm...
I doubt it's him. But suppose it is?
All I can recall about him is a shaved head. At least that's hot.
I came up with the conclusion that I must get to the date spot first. Right? I think it's better that he sees me; than I him. We all know that would be rather embarrassing - can you see it? Me going up to random men asking them if they are my date; all the while my real date watching this spectacle.
Uh oh.
So, I'm nervous. More because I have no idea what he looks like. I'm also nervous because well, it is a date. Everyone has pre-date jitters, no?
Thursday, May 31
Wednesday, May 30
Turns Out Life is Like Middle School
and don't get me started about BFF in comparison to middle school.
Let's talk about my assistant for a quick minute. I love, love, love her. She is good to me, like no other - granted, I've never had an assistant before and now I never want to be without.
This girl is eager to the bone to please me with her work. And I won't lie - I love it!
Plus she is a super wizard when it comes to Excel. The girl is putting in formulas that are adding sheet A and sheet B multiplying by something to equal another on sheet E. Uh huh. I'm just as confused. She is also way ahead of the game - I never really have to ask if such and such is finished. All her deadlines are met at least a day before. How cool is that? And she is so great with reminders, tell her one thing and she is prompt to remind you of it days later and not in a rude way, in a nice pink post it way, that I likey. With all this greatness, you know she has one think that just irks the shit out of me.
Every time she goes to the restroom, she announces it.
"I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom"
A plus for letting me know where you are. A big fat zero for announcing it like you were just potty trained yesterday.
It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have the tiniest bladder in the world and always is seen drinking the Big Gulp. The Assistant goes to the bathroom ten times before lunch. She announces it each time. No matter what I'm doing.
On the phone with a vendor. "I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom".
Chit-chatting to a coworker in the hallway. "I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom"
In the middle of me teaching her something new. "I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom"
Oh. Kick. Me. Now.
She's been with me for a little over a month, so today was high time I did something about this. And since I'm fun...
I so made her a hall pass. Like an old school hall pass that you carried around in the hallways of Thomas Jefferson Middle School. And just like those in the past - this was not a small concealed hall pass. We're talking big hunker paddle. Hellz yeah.
I thought it was funny. Assistant took it seriously for about twenty minutes. Then I realized she may be too young to get the joke or maybe she went to some fancy private school where hall passes were non existent? I had to clue her in that it was a funny.
And in other middle school news - I so ate lunch with the cool kids today! Clap for me.
Is it just me or are there cool kids in your office as well?
Since I work retail - most of our cool kids are the merchandisers. And they are the girls that look effortlessly put together all. The. Time. I'd dislike them if they weren't cute with it. This bunch of girls all sit together in one big conference room of cool. They are too cool for the cubicle farm like the rest of us monkeys.
They sit in an open space together with their fashion magazines all over the place and their cute pictures of boyfriends (grrr) framed on their desks. And they close the door to their area when they eat lunch. Seriously. And they all eat together at the big conference table in their big open work space. There is a huge window that looks into the room and some days I pass and gawk. And what do they speak of in there? Are they talking about their cute outfits? And why aren't I a cool kid?
Well, one of my work buddies recently was promoted to Cool Kidness. Uh huh. For the first week she kept low and under the cool radar, not knowing yet if she was accepted as one of them and still ate her lunch with me...sometimes in the cafeteria (GASP!).
Today it finally happened. She asked me to join her for lunch and if I would like to come into the room and eat. With them.
Oh. Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy.
I was in the room with my cute outfit on. And my shining personality and humor (hopefully they were laughing with me, not at me).
On the outside I looked calm and collected - as if I always belonged. In the inside - I was jumping up and down for joy. Nerd, I am.
For my initiation lunch, I just so had to share the bully joke I pulled on my assistant.
Life just like middle school.
Let's talk about my assistant for a quick minute. I love, love, love her. She is good to me, like no other - granted, I've never had an assistant before and now I never want to be without.
This girl is eager to the bone to please me with her work. And I won't lie - I love it!
Plus she is a super wizard when it comes to Excel. The girl is putting in formulas that are adding sheet A and sheet B multiplying by something to equal another on sheet E. Uh huh. I'm just as confused. She is also way ahead of the game - I never really have to ask if such and such is finished. All her deadlines are met at least a day before. How cool is that? And she is so great with reminders, tell her one thing and she is prompt to remind you of it days later and not in a rude way, in a nice pink post it way, that I likey. With all this greatness, you know she has one think that just irks the shit out of me.
Every time she goes to the restroom, she announces it.
"I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom"
A plus for letting me know where you are. A big fat zero for announcing it like you were just potty trained yesterday.
It wouldn't be so bad if she didn't have the tiniest bladder in the world and always is seen drinking the Big Gulp. The Assistant goes to the bathroom ten times before lunch. She announces it each time. No matter what I'm doing.
On the phone with a vendor. "I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom".
Chit-chatting to a coworker in the hallway. "I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom"
In the middle of me teaching her something new. "I'll be right back, I'm going to the bathroom"
Oh. Kick. Me. Now.
She's been with me for a little over a month, so today was high time I did something about this. And since I'm fun...
I so made her a hall pass. Like an old school hall pass that you carried around in the hallways of Thomas Jefferson Middle School. And just like those in the past - this was not a small concealed hall pass. We're talking big hunker paddle. Hellz yeah.
I thought it was funny. Assistant took it seriously for about twenty minutes. Then I realized she may be too young to get the joke or maybe she went to some fancy private school where hall passes were non existent? I had to clue her in that it was a funny.
And in other middle school news - I so ate lunch with the cool kids today! Clap for me.
Is it just me or are there cool kids in your office as well?
Since I work retail - most of our cool kids are the merchandisers. And they are the girls that look effortlessly put together all. The. Time. I'd dislike them if they weren't cute with it. This bunch of girls all sit together in one big conference room of cool. They are too cool for the cubicle farm like the rest of us monkeys.
They sit in an open space together with their fashion magazines all over the place and their cute pictures of boyfriends (grrr) framed on their desks. And they close the door to their area when they eat lunch. Seriously. And they all eat together at the big conference table in their big open work space. There is a huge window that looks into the room and some days I pass and gawk. And what do they speak of in there? Are they talking about their cute outfits? And why aren't I a cool kid?
Well, one of my work buddies recently was promoted to Cool Kidness. Uh huh. For the first week she kept low and under the cool radar, not knowing yet if she was accepted as one of them and still ate her lunch with me...sometimes in the cafeteria (GASP!).
Today it finally happened. She asked me to join her for lunch and if I would like to come into the room and eat. With them.
Oh. Happy. Happy. Joy. Joy.
I was in the room with my cute outfit on. And my shining personality and humor (hopefully they were laughing with me, not at me).
On the outside I looked calm and collected - as if I always belonged. In the inside - I was jumping up and down for joy. Nerd, I am.
For my initiation lunch, I just so had to share the bully joke I pulled on my assistant.
Life just like middle school.
Just Do Something Already!
Sorry for the vulgarity but I be semi-drunk and a lot mad.
What the F is this boy's problemo? I will marry him if its the last thing I do on this Earth. I swear to yall I ain't kidding. I heart him. MUCHO. Like, mucho mucho. And tonight only verified that a ton. Like, a ton.
I was the only girl bowling tonight. me and 4 other guys. Oh yeah a gal's dream team if you ask any girl because all 4 boys cutie patooties. But I only have eyes for one.
Speaking of eyes - I was batting my eyelashes hard. In a big way. Tammy Faye be damned big way. Seriously my mascara does some serious wonders for my eyes and I put more on top of the already mascara I was wearing for the day - so I had on like two days worth of mascara on my lashes - it was pretty sight.
So... there is some good news - dynamic? WELCOME BACK!
We were dynamoying it all over the freaking place. It was like the good ole days except we both know that we like each other and we both know nothng has been done about it. WTH?
So let's get down to the torment part of it - are you ready? Really ready?
Our knees bumped/ rubbed up against each other too many times to count underneath the table. Our feet played footsie. Our knees hit up against each other - ON PURPOSE. Fo' real, yall!
He paid for my drunky munchie potato chips. Then he offered to pay for my bowling tab. And then, and then, and then - one guess for you guys for what happened...
HE HUGGED ME.
Oh God. I love love love love love his hugs. I want to fuck his hugs. I want to make out with his hugs. I want to have babies with his hugs. I want to bottle his freaking hugs and sell it on the black market for like, a thousand bucks because seriously thats how much you'd pay and I wouldn't be cheaping out on you. Fo' real. I'd pay all thats in my bank account for his delicious hugs. I want his hugs in my bed. All up in my face. smothering me. MY sun rises and sets with his hugs. His hugs will be the end of me.
As if you didn't you already know.
So by the title of this post you already guessed that is as far as it went. Hugging. Whaah!
and this is that. The end of this? But I don't want to give up, but I'd be a fool not to. Right?
What the F is this boy's problemo? I will marry him if its the last thing I do on this Earth. I swear to yall I ain't kidding. I heart him. MUCHO. Like, mucho mucho. And tonight only verified that a ton. Like, a ton.
I was the only girl bowling tonight. me and 4 other guys. Oh yeah a gal's dream team if you ask any girl because all 4 boys cutie patooties. But I only have eyes for one.
Speaking of eyes - I was batting my eyelashes hard. In a big way. Tammy Faye be damned big way. Seriously my mascara does some serious wonders for my eyes and I put more on top of the already mascara I was wearing for the day - so I had on like two days worth of mascara on my lashes - it was pretty sight.
So... there is some good news - dynamic? WELCOME BACK!
We were dynamoying it all over the freaking place. It was like the good ole days except we both know that we like each other and we both know nothng has been done about it. WTH?
So let's get down to the torment part of it - are you ready? Really ready?
Our knees bumped/ rubbed up against each other too many times to count underneath the table. Our feet played footsie. Our knees hit up against each other - ON PURPOSE. Fo' real, yall!
He paid for my drunky munchie potato chips. Then he offered to pay for my bowling tab. And then, and then, and then - one guess for you guys for what happened...
HE HUGGED ME.
Oh God. I love love love love love his hugs. I want to fuck his hugs. I want to make out with his hugs. I want to have babies with his hugs. I want to bottle his freaking hugs and sell it on the black market for like, a thousand bucks because seriously thats how much you'd pay and I wouldn't be cheaping out on you. Fo' real. I'd pay all thats in my bank account for his delicious hugs. I want his hugs in my bed. All up in my face. smothering me. MY sun rises and sets with his hugs. His hugs will be the end of me.
As if you didn't you already know.
So by the title of this post you already guessed that is as far as it went. Hugging. Whaah!
and this is that. The end of this? But I don't want to give up, but I'd be a fool not to. Right?
Tuesday, May 29
Hugs & Texting
This is the problem that irks and frustrates me each day and every moment I am around BFF: all I want to do is kiss him.
Real hard.
But more so than that I just want hugs. Tons and tons of his hugs. I seriously need to find out his secret ingredient and pass it along. I am not joking - he gives the best. hugs. ever. And when he hugs me I just get so lost in it.
This should not be a problem because all I get? Are hugs.
Yesterday when I was so consumed with all this fantastical hugging (and obsessing, told you, I won't lie to ya) my cell phone text alert beeped. And for the split second before flipping my phone open, I thought the Romantic God heard my prayer and it was BFF.
Yeah...
Right.
Let me give you some backstory because I don't think I shared this crazy night with you guys, yet. One night, about three weeks ago, whilst BFF was at a bachelor party, me and some girls went dancing. I dance no matter where I am - so to actually say we went dancing, this meant full on press court on the dance floor. It was ours.
While dancing we attracted a group of men. Now - let me warn you, my mutual friend warned me to be friendly but not too friendly because there was a huge opportunity still for us to meet up with the boys when the bachelor party was over. So, I was friendly.
Somewhere between all my friendliness, my phone number was given.
A week later, I got a phone call from an unknown number. I didn't answer and they didn't leave a message. My rule is if you don't leave a message; you didn't call me. Minutes later, the same number left me a text message: "Hey. How are you. What are you up to tonight?"
Curious, I replied back with, who is this? Turns out it was that very same guy who got my phone number while dancing. Hmmm...who?
1. I do not remember which one out of the group of guys has my number.
He kept texting me that night but I was slow and not witty with my own responses...because well, you all know - BFF. Why would I jump to the chance with someone who was interested when there was the torment and dynamic of BFF? Why would I do that? And where does that make sense?
Let's just say, he probably got the hint straight away and stopped texting me. Then, yesterday, out of the blue:
"Hey. What's up? What are you doing?"
Okeedokee. This time, I was witty and timely with my replies. We talked via text messaging for two hours. Yes. Two hours! Usually this would annoy me that neither one of us didn't just pick up the phone. But, Hope Floats was on HBO...and I didn't want to miss anything in a movie I'd seen at least 20 times. Uh huh. I can so see why men love them some text messaging.
To wind this story up: he asked me out via text message. And I said 'yes' via the text message reply.
2. I guess this is a semi-blind date since I cannot remember what he looks like?!?
We have a date set for Friday. And I so commend him for two things: He asked me out for a Friday night before Wednesday (whoo hoo) and after I said yes, he texted me that he would be looking forward to it.
I have to admit that is always nice to hear. So, yah! Date for me.
P.S. - tonight is curdle/expiration date for BFF. Yep - I decided. He is definitely bowling tonight and so am I. He has had a very large window of opportunity to do something and he hasn't. I'll only be torturing myself to keep the window open. His loss.
Real hard.
But more so than that I just want hugs. Tons and tons of his hugs. I seriously need to find out his secret ingredient and pass it along. I am not joking - he gives the best. hugs. ever. And when he hugs me I just get so lost in it.
This should not be a problem because all I get? Are hugs.
Yesterday when I was so consumed with all this fantastical hugging (and obsessing, told you, I won't lie to ya) my cell phone text alert beeped. And for the split second before flipping my phone open, I thought the Romantic God heard my prayer and it was BFF.
Yeah...
Right.
Let me give you some backstory because I don't think I shared this crazy night with you guys, yet. One night, about three weeks ago, whilst BFF was at a bachelor party, me and some girls went dancing. I dance no matter where I am - so to actually say we went dancing, this meant full on press court on the dance floor. It was ours.
While dancing we attracted a group of men. Now - let me warn you, my mutual friend warned me to be friendly but not too friendly because there was a huge opportunity still for us to meet up with the boys when the bachelor party was over. So, I was friendly.
Somewhere between all my friendliness, my phone number was given.
A week later, I got a phone call from an unknown number. I didn't answer and they didn't leave a message. My rule is if you don't leave a message; you didn't call me. Minutes later, the same number left me a text message: "Hey. How are you. What are you up to tonight?"
Curious, I replied back with, who is this? Turns out it was that very same guy who got my phone number while dancing. Hmmm...who?
1. I do not remember which one out of the group of guys has my number.
He kept texting me that night but I was slow and not witty with my own responses...because well, you all know - BFF. Why would I jump to the chance with someone who was interested when there was the torment and dynamic of BFF? Why would I do that? And where does that make sense?
Let's just say, he probably got the hint straight away and stopped texting me. Then, yesterday, out of the blue:
"Hey. What's up? What are you doing?"
Okeedokee. This time, I was witty and timely with my replies. We talked via text messaging for two hours. Yes. Two hours! Usually this would annoy me that neither one of us didn't just pick up the phone. But, Hope Floats was on HBO...and I didn't want to miss anything in a movie I'd seen at least 20 times. Uh huh. I can so see why men love them some text messaging.
To wind this story up: he asked me out via text message. And I said 'yes' via the text message reply.
2. I guess this is a semi-blind date since I cannot remember what he looks like?!?
We have a date set for Friday. And I so commend him for two things: He asked me out for a Friday night before Wednesday (whoo hoo) and after I said yes, he texted me that he would be looking forward to it.
I have to admit that is always nice to hear. So, yah! Date for me.
P.S. - tonight is curdle/expiration date for BFF. Yep - I decided. He is definitely bowling tonight and so am I. He has had a very large window of opportunity to do something and he hasn't. I'll only be torturing myself to keep the window open. His loss.
Monday, May 28
My Weekend was like Whoa
First can it just stop raining already. I'm so over precipitation it is unreal. All plans of being outdoors this weekend were halted. Due to rain. Boo.
But...
We still made the most of going out. D-town style.
My friend V and I made plans to check out a new hotel bar. We dressed to our best and headed over. I rarely see the girl so it was nice to just sit, people watch, and catch up on girl talk. There's a new man in her life - so it was so exciting to hear all the new-ness of that. While sitting there, a member from the club she works at stopped by our table.
He was pure Dallas. Seriously. Older. Pink and grey suit. Frat boy hair. BMW. And an in to Ghostbar.
After speaking to him for over an hour he suggested that we accompany him to Ghostbar. First off, it is just the three of us. Two hot girls and one older man. Do the math peeps. All I could think about is how to keep my drink in my hand and under control so the night doesn't end in some crazy threesome. Not that I wanted one and not that there is anything wrong with that. But look at the picture - from the outside I am sure that's what other people were seeing or thinking.
As I don't care what others think (?!?) I went along for the adventure to Ghostbar. Plus I never been.
The pre-party was in his car. He had the best mixed CD. EVER. Kriss Kross. Old school Jessica Simpson. Kelis. Justin Timberlake. and Enrique Iglesias. I was dancing in the back seat before we hit the club.
I'm not kidding with y'all when I say this: the forever long line to Ghostbar parted like the red freaking sea when they saw this fool roll up with us. (I still don't know who he knew, but did I care?)
And inside - holey moley - inside. We got a table. A bottle service table. I was high rolling and still dancing like a fool.
V pointed my attention to the left of us - WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
Is that who I think it is? Yep.
Vince. Vaughn.
It was my motorscooting birthday. We didn't get to meet him, thanks to his twenty odd numbered entourage. Just the fact that I was sitting at VIP table, feet away from Vince was enough for my night.
The next day, I brushed off my hangover and went to the movies.
Have you heard of Waitress? Yes - go see it, it is way much better than what you're thinking. No, you haven't heard of it - climb from under the rock and go see it - you will be pleasantly surprised.
I hadn't laughed out loud at a movie in a theater in a really long time.
And Cheryl Hines? OMGosh, can we bottle her up and give her her own show?
I'm looking forward to seeing it again real soon because I think I missed some good lines from all the laughing.
It was for sure a feel good movie that made me laugh and cry. So GO, GO, Go now and watch it. You will not be disappointed. I guarantee it. Unless you don't like to laugh.
But...
We still made the most of going out. D-town style.
My friend V and I made plans to check out a new hotel bar. We dressed to our best and headed over. I rarely see the girl so it was nice to just sit, people watch, and catch up on girl talk. There's a new man in her life - so it was so exciting to hear all the new-ness of that. While sitting there, a member from the club she works at stopped by our table.
He was pure Dallas. Seriously. Older. Pink and grey suit. Frat boy hair. BMW. And an in to Ghostbar.
After speaking to him for over an hour he suggested that we accompany him to Ghostbar. First off, it is just the three of us. Two hot girls and one older man. Do the math peeps. All I could think about is how to keep my drink in my hand and under control so the night doesn't end in some crazy threesome. Not that I wanted one and not that there is anything wrong with that. But look at the picture - from the outside I am sure that's what other people were seeing or thinking.
As I don't care what others think (?!?) I went along for the adventure to Ghostbar. Plus I never been.
The pre-party was in his car. He had the best mixed CD. EVER. Kriss Kross. Old school Jessica Simpson. Kelis. Justin Timberlake. and Enrique Iglesias. I was dancing in the back seat before we hit the club.
I'm not kidding with y'all when I say this: the forever long line to Ghostbar parted like the red freaking sea when they saw this fool roll up with us. (I still don't know who he knew, but did I care?)
And inside - holey moley - inside. We got a table. A bottle service table. I was high rolling and still dancing like a fool.
V pointed my attention to the left of us - WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
Is that who I think it is? Yep.
Vince. Vaughn.
It was my motorscooting birthday. We didn't get to meet him, thanks to his twenty odd numbered entourage. Just the fact that I was sitting at VIP table, feet away from Vince was enough for my night.
The next day, I brushed off my hangover and went to the movies.
Have you heard of Waitress? Yes - go see it, it is way much better than what you're thinking. No, you haven't heard of it - climb from under the rock and go see it - you will be pleasantly surprised.
I hadn't laughed out loud at a movie in a theater in a really long time.
And Cheryl Hines? OMGosh, can we bottle her up and give her her own show?
I'm looking forward to seeing it again real soon because I think I missed some good lines from all the laughing.
It was for sure a feel good movie that made me laugh and cry. So GO, GO, Go now and watch it. You will not be disappointed. I guarantee it. Unless you don't like to laugh.
Saturday, May 26
French Kissing
I have now been on two blind dates my entire life. The first one - grrr - we won't get too specific, but he was an idiot who took the liberty to order my food for me - not asking me what I wanted first.
The second one did the same exact thing. (is that the way it happens on blind dates?) But I kinda liked it.
Maybe because he did it in his French accent. Maybe because I was too into the date to pick up the menu (and he noticed). Maybe because he was so Frenchalicious.
Let's say HOT. And he was older. Way to go, seriously. I live 'em older. I think the oldest I will ever go is 40. Uhm hmm - you heard that right. Forty. There is no shame in my game.
Older. Check.
French. Check.
Bad ass job. Check.
Frenchie aids and coordinates with the USDA (yep, that USDA) to transport foods to third world countries in Africa.
How bad ass is that?
With a job like that - its no wonder he did most of the talking and I did most of the asking. What a cool job and to hear him tell it so passionately was amazing.
And hot was he. Imagine Jude Law, a few years older and skinnier.
Frenchie was a good distraction for my mind. But, naturally I sat there and a few times caught myself wishing Frenchie was BFF and what I'd be doing if that were true. I ain't gonna lie to you. It's true.
Frenchie is about to move to DC - so he can better do his job. I have no high hopes of it. He told me he comes to Dallas every other month, so he would give me a call the next time he is in the Big D. Hopefully, I will be courting someone else at the moment.
The date was pure distraction. Easy as that. I enjoyed it because I hadn't been on a real date in a long ass time. It was nice to be picked up, wear a dress, eat dinner, and laugh at great conversations. Of course, it would only happen while I was in Houston. Where the hot Frenchies in Dallas?
Anyone? Anyone?
The second one did the same exact thing. (is that the way it happens on blind dates?) But I kinda liked it.
Maybe because he did it in his French accent. Maybe because I was too into the date to pick up the menu (and he noticed). Maybe because he was so Frenchalicious.
Let's say HOT. And he was older. Way to go, seriously. I live 'em older. I think the oldest I will ever go is 40. Uhm hmm - you heard that right. Forty. There is no shame in my game.
Older. Check.
French. Check.
Bad ass job. Check.
Frenchie aids and coordinates with the USDA (yep, that USDA) to transport foods to third world countries in Africa.
How bad ass is that?
With a job like that - its no wonder he did most of the talking and I did most of the asking. What a cool job and to hear him tell it so passionately was amazing.
And hot was he. Imagine Jude Law, a few years older and skinnier.
Frenchie was a good distraction for my mind. But, naturally I sat there and a few times caught myself wishing Frenchie was BFF and what I'd be doing if that were true. I ain't gonna lie to you. It's true.
Frenchie is about to move to DC - so he can better do his job. I have no high hopes of it. He told me he comes to Dallas every other month, so he would give me a call the next time he is in the Big D. Hopefully, I will be courting someone else at the moment.
The date was pure distraction. Easy as that. I enjoyed it because I hadn't been on a real date in a long ass time. It was nice to be picked up, wear a dress, eat dinner, and laugh at great conversations. Of course, it would only happen while I was in Houston. Where the hot Frenchies in Dallas?
Anyone? Anyone?
Thursday, May 24
WHOA
I don't know how Lost got away with so-so episodes during the first half of this season and then last night...
last night was like WHOA. It was better than all the seasons, thus far combined. My head was spinning out of control. Seriously. That was some damn good TV last night.
And to think I almost missed it.
Since I have been hanging out with the bowling group quite a bit and obsessing over one particular too much - I decided to meet up with some other friends for happy hour. I told myself I'd only stay an hour and get right back home for LOST. Well...the cash register had a different idea. It would have been Wednesday night that their machine would have technical difficulties and I didn't have any cash on me - and there was no ATM nearby.
Oy.
I made it home missing the first 15 minutes. What can you do? Nothing but sit there and be mesmerized by the other hour and forty five minutes.
What did y'all think?
Who the F's funeral was that? And Charlie? Penny waiting by TV screen? Seriously. That show knows how to make a nerd out of me.
In other news, the day before last, I went out with the bowling crowd and BFF. And there was more torment except this was of a good kind.
Why I ask you, did he and I so show up wearing the same outfit? Black t-shirt and jeans. (meant to be, meant to be, meant to be)
Now that my feelings are all out there, I'm way more brave to actively flirt with him in front of the others. Don't worry - still no action.
I'm thinking it may be better this way, to take it slooooooooooooooow. If that's what he has in mind.
But I will tell you this, my eggs aren't all in one basket. Or should I say my "oeufs"? Tonight I have a blind date with a Frenchman.
Uh huh. You read right. Freeeench. And to make it more French his name is Jean Pierre. I shit you not. I agreed because 1) its in Houston (yeah I'm in H-town for work) and 2) we all know I need a distraction/pseudo date with someone else to cool my heels regarding BFF.
My good friend who lives in Houston set it up. Well, her French beau set it up. And I am not one to turn down anything that has an accent attached to it - much less with the name Jean Pierre.
last night was like WHOA. It was better than all the seasons, thus far combined. My head was spinning out of control. Seriously. That was some damn good TV last night.
And to think I almost missed it.
Since I have been hanging out with the bowling group quite a bit and obsessing over one particular too much - I decided to meet up with some other friends for happy hour. I told myself I'd only stay an hour and get right back home for LOST. Well...the cash register had a different idea. It would have been Wednesday night that their machine would have technical difficulties and I didn't have any cash on me - and there was no ATM nearby.
Oy.
I made it home missing the first 15 minutes. What can you do? Nothing but sit there and be mesmerized by the other hour and forty five minutes.
What did y'all think?
Who the F's funeral was that? And Charlie? Penny waiting by TV screen? Seriously. That show knows how to make a nerd out of me.
In other news, the day before last, I went out with the bowling crowd and BFF. And there was more torment except this was of a good kind.
Why I ask you, did he and I so show up wearing the same outfit? Black t-shirt and jeans. (meant to be, meant to be, meant to be)
Now that my feelings are all out there, I'm way more brave to actively flirt with him in front of the others. Don't worry - still no action.
I'm thinking it may be better this way, to take it slooooooooooooooow. If that's what he has in mind.
But I will tell you this, my eggs aren't all in one basket. Or should I say my "oeufs"? Tonight I have a blind date with a Frenchman.
Uh huh. You read right. Freeeench. And to make it more French his name is Jean Pierre. I shit you not. I agreed because 1) its in Houston (yeah I'm in H-town for work) and 2) we all know I need a distraction/pseudo date with someone else to cool my heels regarding BFF.
My good friend who lives in Houston set it up. Well, her French beau set it up. And I am not one to turn down anything that has an accent attached to it - much less with the name Jean Pierre.
Monday, May 21
Do Somethin'
So I said it. Now I'm thinking it was the dynamic's kiss of the death.
Saturday night I went with 1/3 of the group to a kick ass concert. Dare I say, this was better than Justin Timberlake? First off, I never ever heard of the group, Ghostland Observatory before and I only went to be social with the group (no worries BFF was not in attendance). The music is not something that I normally gravitate towards - seriously - it's a two man group and one is in the shiniest cape you've ever seen. But the lead singer, Aaron, is my new beau. He was so kick ass entertaining - sashaying himself on the stage. It was awesome.
After the concert - we met the rest of the group and BFF at a bar. Grrr...how do I start telling y'all this one? Since they started at the bar before us - positions were already established. Meaning he was standing in a group full of 3 girls and 2 guys, in a circle. Do the math. And the girl that was closest to him was not the same girl from Friday night. It was a new girl - but I've seen her before.
Green jealousness? Nope... at this point I was alright because I knew that he knew what I felt about him. And if anything he had to know how easy it was to now get with this (meaning me).
Now I ask you why the heck did he never leave that circle and come to talk to me?
My friend told me that he wouldn't leave the group and that if I want to talk to him, I would have to go over there.
Hell. To. The. Nope.
I figure I already did most of the work - more like 99.9% of the work. He must know if he only asked me out, I'd say yes. If he'd only lean in to kiss me, I'd kiss him back. If he looked my way, I'd wink.
To quote the very intelligent Destiny's Child:
"I put it right there, made it easy for you to get to"
I must've said all of three sentences to him Saturday night. I hate to sound like a fool but I have to keep it real for y'all - I went home with tears in my eyes regretting that I ever told him that I did like him.
And he looked so cu-ute. Grrr.
All day Sunday was torture for me and my obsessing self, the only thought I could think of was how much I just wanted to see him in my apartment - nothing sexual - I just wanted him in my space. Does that make sense?
He hasn't done anything, and I know its only been 3 days since I announced my feelings, but isn't that long enough? Not a phone call, a text message, nada. And today - no chit chat via g-chat. Tomorrow - we bowl - so there's an opportunity that I won't hold my breath for.
Here it is. Ball is so in his court, no? I did the work for him. If I do any more initiating, I'm surely to look like a desperate fool, right? So...I'm done. If anything happens, he will have to do it.
If not - I figure this will curdle in 2 weeks. And then I will have to announce it as DOA. Seriously.
I hate this. So much.
Saturday night I went with 1/3 of the group to a kick ass concert. Dare I say, this was better than Justin Timberlake? First off, I never ever heard of the group, Ghostland Observatory before and I only went to be social with the group (no worries BFF was not in attendance). The music is not something that I normally gravitate towards - seriously - it's a two man group and one is in the shiniest cape you've ever seen. But the lead singer, Aaron, is my new beau. He was so kick ass entertaining - sashaying himself on the stage. It was awesome.
After the concert - we met the rest of the group and BFF at a bar. Grrr...how do I start telling y'all this one? Since they started at the bar before us - positions were already established. Meaning he was standing in a group full of 3 girls and 2 guys, in a circle. Do the math. And the girl that was closest to him was not the same girl from Friday night. It was a new girl - but I've seen her before.
Green jealousness? Nope... at this point I was alright because I knew that he knew what I felt about him. And if anything he had to know how easy it was to now get with this (meaning me).
Now I ask you why the heck did he never leave that circle and come to talk to me?
My friend told me that he wouldn't leave the group and that if I want to talk to him, I would have to go over there.
Hell. To. The. Nope.
I figure I already did most of the work - more like 99.9% of the work. He must know if he only asked me out, I'd say yes. If he'd only lean in to kiss me, I'd kiss him back. If he looked my way, I'd wink.
To quote the very intelligent Destiny's Child:
"I put it right there, made it easy for you to get to"
I must've said all of three sentences to him Saturday night. I hate to sound like a fool but I have to keep it real for y'all - I went home with tears in my eyes regretting that I ever told him that I did like him.
And he looked so cu-ute. Grrr.
All day Sunday was torture for me and my obsessing self, the only thought I could think of was how much I just wanted to see him in my apartment - nothing sexual - I just wanted him in my space. Does that make sense?
He hasn't done anything, and I know its only been 3 days since I announced my feelings, but isn't that long enough? Not a phone call, a text message, nada. And today - no chit chat via g-chat. Tomorrow - we bowl - so there's an opportunity that I won't hold my breath for.
Here it is. Ball is so in his court, no? I did the work for him. If I do any more initiating, I'm surely to look like a desperate fool, right? So...I'm done. If anything happens, he will have to do it.
If not - I figure this will curdle in 2 weeks. And then I will have to announce it as DOA. Seriously.
I hate this. So much.
Saturday, May 19
Plan. Done.
This was all to go down tonight (Saturday) but it all happened very quickly Friday night. I found out in the middle of the day that BFF (formerly known as #2 for anyone just now joining us or anyone that missed the name upgrade) would be joining us for the night festivities.
Honestly I only went out for one thing: The Plan.
I got to the bar before BFF did. I said my hellos and sat down. I was engaged in some heavy conversation when BFF arrived...girl in tow. Grr. Instead of letting my jealous green monster bitch mood set in, I texted Bev. It came down to I had to tell him anyway. Regardless of the girl.
Then my friend who was with us told me not to be jealous. The two of them are just friends and she arrived with BFF because she is in town visiting from San Antonio. Then I remembered her; she was one of the girls at his party who asked me how I met BFF (I remember that moment like it was yesterday. When she asked me that question, I so knew, why. Because, duh, we so look/act like a couple. And yeah, I was happy she asked me that question)
So, threat begone. Plan, begin.
BFF announced he was going downstairs to the restroom. Since he and I have such great history in attending the bathroom lines together, I invited myself to join him. I told him to meet me at the bar when he was finished because I had something to tell him. Nothing like a trailer/sneak preview to what I was about to lay on him....oooh, that sounds nice...
Anyway back to this. I was a nervous-excited wreck at the bar. Another guy came up to me and asked me if I was excited. "Hells Bells I am!" He asked my name and supposedly I put my hand up to his face and told him, in some fashion, to get lost because my crush was on his way back. I didn't need distractions or anything looking suspicious to get in my way.
BFF came back from the bathroom and we began the walk back up the stairs to the rest of the group. Knowing this is a short walk, I jumped right in at 100 mph.
"BFF"
"Yeah"
"I have something to tell you"
"Yeah?"
(and I so wish ya'll could have seen his face, he was so freaking cute)
"You must know that I like you"
(there is no backing out now)
"And I need you to know that because I'll regret it each time I see you if I didn't tell you"
"Yeah?"
(ok - I know. Enough of the 'yeahs' already. But if you knew him - this is classic BFF)
"Yes. I like you and I have for a really long time now"
(and at this point we are 2 seconds from the group, still walking and talking. Honestly, I wish he saw the seriousness of this conversation and stopped walking - or maybe I should have. Whatev)
"Golightly. I like you, too"
YES.
Did he just say that? Yes, he did. And then, we were right back with the group. Damnit.
I didn't know where to take it from there. What was I supposed to do? I had no clue. We just both confessed our feelings for each other and now we are smack dab in the middle of the group again.
Well, he sat down at our table. And I texted and called Bev. That's how I roll. In all seriousness, if I had drove, I would've called Bev on my way to my car to go home. Seriously.
After the call and a quick chat to another member of the group. I sat down at the table. BFF left his spot and sat down next to me. Here comes the cheese:
I felt so special sitting next to him. Don't get me wrong, I have sat down next to him aplenty of time before but for some reason this time. Oh. This time. Mm.
We chatted and chatted and chatted. Was the rest of the group there? I don't remember. He asked me if I was going to the races with the group during the day, Saturday. I said no because I was helping one of our friends move. He told me, it wouldn't take that long to move her and as soon as I'm done to go home & take a shower, and he will pick me up. (OK - this is kinda gross but I saw the opportunity to cut time and straight up told him that I didn't need a shower. He could come straight and get me from the move. Where that made sense or why it was said aloud. I don't know. And if you knew how many times I have not showered for the essence of saving time - ooh - you'd be glad you don't hang out with me. I am sure my mama ain't proud because she did teach me the importance of hygiene. Sometimes showers get in the way and there is no time)
Anyway, I said okay and to text me when he was close to my 'hood. Oh and you should know that he was also picking someone else up for the races, too. This was not a special trip just for Golightly.
Then my ride wanted to leave. I said my goodbyes and got into her car. She quickly turned to me and asked me to spill the plan. I did. Then she told me her part of the story:
While I was sitting and chatting with BFF, her guy was trying to get my attention for some conversation. She told him he had to let me be. She confessed that she also told him what was going down between me and BFF. Then he told her, oh my gosh, are ya'll ready for this? Really ready for it?
He said, "That's good because he told us that he likes and is attracted to her, too"
YES.
Don't you just love when you hear of your crush talking about you to his friends. The thought of whatever conversation they had for him to know that news, just warms my heart. Yeah I am cheesy sappy like that.
And we still have tonight. The group is going out tonight - which was when I was originally going to have the plan go down, but Friday got in the way.
Honestly I only went out for one thing: The Plan.
I got to the bar before BFF did. I said my hellos and sat down. I was engaged in some heavy conversation when BFF arrived...girl in tow. Grr. Instead of letting my jealous green monster bitch mood set in, I texted Bev. It came down to I had to tell him anyway. Regardless of the girl.
Then my friend who was with us told me not to be jealous. The two of them are just friends and she arrived with BFF because she is in town visiting from San Antonio. Then I remembered her; she was one of the girls at his party who asked me how I met BFF (I remember that moment like it was yesterday. When she asked me that question, I so knew, why. Because, duh, we so look/act like a couple. And yeah, I was happy she asked me that question)
So, threat begone. Plan, begin.
BFF announced he was going downstairs to the restroom. Since he and I have such great history in attending the bathroom lines together, I invited myself to join him. I told him to meet me at the bar when he was finished because I had something to tell him. Nothing like a trailer/sneak preview to what I was about to lay on him....oooh, that sounds nice...
Anyway back to this. I was a nervous-excited wreck at the bar. Another guy came up to me and asked me if I was excited. "Hells Bells I am!" He asked my name and supposedly I put my hand up to his face and told him, in some fashion, to get lost because my crush was on his way back. I didn't need distractions or anything looking suspicious to get in my way.
BFF came back from the bathroom and we began the walk back up the stairs to the rest of the group. Knowing this is a short walk, I jumped right in at 100 mph.
"BFF"
"Yeah"
"I have something to tell you"
"Yeah?"
(and I so wish ya'll could have seen his face, he was so freaking cute)
"You must know that I like you"
(there is no backing out now)
"And I need you to know that because I'll regret it each time I see you if I didn't tell you"
"Yeah?"
(ok - I know. Enough of the 'yeahs' already. But if you knew him - this is classic BFF)
"Yes. I like you and I have for a really long time now"
(and at this point we are 2 seconds from the group, still walking and talking. Honestly, I wish he saw the seriousness of this conversation and stopped walking - or maybe I should have. Whatev)
"Golightly. I like you, too"
YES.
Did he just say that? Yes, he did. And then, we were right back with the group. Damnit.
I didn't know where to take it from there. What was I supposed to do? I had no clue. We just both confessed our feelings for each other and now we are smack dab in the middle of the group again.
Well, he sat down at our table. And I texted and called Bev. That's how I roll. In all seriousness, if I had drove, I would've called Bev on my way to my car to go home. Seriously.
After the call and a quick chat to another member of the group. I sat down at the table. BFF left his spot and sat down next to me. Here comes the cheese:
I felt so special sitting next to him. Don't get me wrong, I have sat down next to him aplenty of time before but for some reason this time. Oh. This time. Mm.
We chatted and chatted and chatted. Was the rest of the group there? I don't remember. He asked me if I was going to the races with the group during the day, Saturday. I said no because I was helping one of our friends move. He told me, it wouldn't take that long to move her and as soon as I'm done to go home & take a shower, and he will pick me up. (OK - this is kinda gross but I saw the opportunity to cut time and straight up told him that I didn't need a shower. He could come straight and get me from the move. Where that made sense or why it was said aloud. I don't know. And if you knew how many times I have not showered for the essence of saving time - ooh - you'd be glad you don't hang out with me. I am sure my mama ain't proud because she did teach me the importance of hygiene. Sometimes showers get in the way and there is no time)
Anyway, I said okay and to text me when he was close to my 'hood. Oh and you should know that he was also picking someone else up for the races, too. This was not a special trip just for Golightly.
Then my ride wanted to leave. I said my goodbyes and got into her car. She quickly turned to me and asked me to spill the plan. I did. Then she told me her part of the story:
While I was sitting and chatting with BFF, her guy was trying to get my attention for some conversation. She told him he had to let me be. She confessed that she also told him what was going down between me and BFF. Then he told her, oh my gosh, are ya'll ready for this? Really ready for it?
He said, "That's good because he told us that he likes and is attracted to her, too"
YES.
Don't you just love when you hear of your crush talking about you to his friends. The thought of whatever conversation they had for him to know that news, just warms my heart. Yeah I am cheesy sappy like that.
And we still have tonight. The group is going out tonight - which was when I was originally going to have the plan go down, but Friday got in the way.
Thursday, May 17
Sometimes Women Really Just Want to be Rescued
When I find myself in a defenseless situation I tend to piss and moan.
Piss and moan.
Piss and moan.
Until the situation has manifested itself or most likely, until the end of the day.
I found myself in such a situation this morning when I walked into my garage and my car was leaning to the side.
A flat tire.
Let me preface this by saying, I know how to change a flat tire. I've done it twice before. With the car I had before my SUV.
My SUV's extra tire is underneath the car - not hiked up on the cargo door and not in my cargo trunk space. Under-neath the car.
Why don't people get that? I must've explained it to at least three of my friends this morning. I was calling for help and they were all dazed and confused as to how my spare is under the car.
(You can understand how frustrated I was)
And on top of that...why is it such a problem for tow truckers? One guy told me he doesn't do flat tire repair when the spare is underneath. WTF is that about? Doesn't he just lose half the population in business?
Back to this morning. Not only is the spare under my car; my car was also on an incline, making it that much more difficult to jack up the car to change the flat.
I assessed the situation. Pondered it. And called my friends. Surely, someone would come help me.
Then I called my insurance. It's a $45 charge. No way.
Then the pissing and moaning started. When I piss and moan about stuff like this, its usually the same mantra that comes out of my mouth:
"This is why people are married!"
I freaking pity the fool that dates me seriously next. I am so marrying him, simply out of default. You heard it here, first.
I hate being helpless. No I hate being helpless and alone. There is nothing like some stereotypical man job that cause me to feel so alone and single. Seriously. Especially when it comes to cars. I am helpless.
Battery need jumping? Flat tire? Registration renewal?
A man. A man. A man. Amen.
I know it sounds so pathetic. My hat is off to any woman who is out there reading this and rolling their eyes. Believe me, you are my hero. And I am a wuss.
After I pissed and moaned, I called the tow trucker and threw money at the problem.
When it was all said and done, I realized its not just the man factor of this, its the alone factor. So I made a promise. If any of my friends are ever stuck in such a rut - I'm there. As long as you are in the city limits, I am there. I don't care what time of day or night it is. I will leave my job for you, I will be late to my job for you, and I will get out of my bed for you. Being alone no matter how traumatic or small the task is - plainly just sucks. And I would hate to think of anyone pissing and moaning without me. Let's face it, complaining that there are no men in your life is way better when you have company to complain with.
Amen.
Piss and moan.
Piss and moan.
Until the situation has manifested itself or most likely, until the end of the day.
I found myself in such a situation this morning when I walked into my garage and my car was leaning to the side.
A flat tire.
Let me preface this by saying, I know how to change a flat tire. I've done it twice before. With the car I had before my SUV.
My SUV's extra tire is underneath the car - not hiked up on the cargo door and not in my cargo trunk space. Under-neath the car.
Why don't people get that? I must've explained it to at least three of my friends this morning. I was calling for help and they were all dazed and confused as to how my spare is under the car.
(You can understand how frustrated I was)
And on top of that...why is it such a problem for tow truckers? One guy told me he doesn't do flat tire repair when the spare is underneath. WTF is that about? Doesn't he just lose half the population in business?
Back to this morning. Not only is the spare under my car; my car was also on an incline, making it that much more difficult to jack up the car to change the flat.
I assessed the situation. Pondered it. And called my friends. Surely, someone would come help me.
Then I called my insurance. It's a $45 charge. No way.
Then the pissing and moaning started. When I piss and moan about stuff like this, its usually the same mantra that comes out of my mouth:
"This is why people are married!"
I freaking pity the fool that dates me seriously next. I am so marrying him, simply out of default. You heard it here, first.
I hate being helpless. No I hate being helpless and alone. There is nothing like some stereotypical man job that cause me to feel so alone and single. Seriously. Especially when it comes to cars. I am helpless.
Battery need jumping? Flat tire? Registration renewal?
A man. A man. A man. Amen.
I know it sounds so pathetic. My hat is off to any woman who is out there reading this and rolling their eyes. Believe me, you are my hero. And I am a wuss.
After I pissed and moaned, I called the tow trucker and threw money at the problem.
When it was all said and done, I realized its not just the man factor of this, its the alone factor. So I made a promise. If any of my friends are ever stuck in such a rut - I'm there. As long as you are in the city limits, I am there. I don't care what time of day or night it is. I will leave my job for you, I will be late to my job for you, and I will get out of my bed for you. Being alone no matter how traumatic or small the task is - plainly just sucks. And I would hate to think of anyone pissing and moaning without me. Let's face it, complaining that there are no men in your life is way better when you have company to complain with.
Amen.
Wednesday, May 16
The Plan
Remember those scripts Kate used to do for breaking up with someone?
It came to me really late last night that she should be the one to come up with the plan.
Duh.
So I've enlisted her help. And I promised to do it - no matter how extreme or crazy the end result plan turns out to be. And in exchange, in case I don't do it - she has his email address and I am so scared that she is not afraid to use it.
And don't think I gave her that thing voluntarily. A long time ago I needed an email he wrote decoded. I forwarded it to her. Mutha____. Hoochie mama kept the freaking email address.
Oy.
The plan doesn't look so bad. It's only 3 steps.
And we're so deep in agony, we'll do anything. (by 'we', I mean 'me')
Step One: Next time I see him, tell him I like him.
At this point, ball is really in his court. Not much you can do about it.
Step Two: If the first step doesn't result in him asking you out or him kissing you because he is so overjoyed with the news...simply state, "I just need for you to know that."
Step Three: Walk away. Abort. Abort. Abort.
And that's all. Simple does it, Kate.
She insists that this is done in person. Any other way, he won't know the seriousness of it all and/or he cannot back into an excuse of 'email technical difficulties' or something along those lines.
There you have it. No more obsessing - we have moved on to actionable items. A serious plan. But if you ask me, its a very embarrassing plan.
(the next time I will see him, for certain, is Saturday)
It came to me really late last night that she should be the one to come up with the plan.
Duh.
So I've enlisted her help. And I promised to do it - no matter how extreme or crazy the end result plan turns out to be. And in exchange, in case I don't do it - she has his email address and I am so scared that she is not afraid to use it.
And don't think I gave her that thing voluntarily. A long time ago I needed an email he wrote decoded. I forwarded it to her. Mutha____. Hoochie mama kept the freaking email address.
Oy.
The plan doesn't look so bad. It's only 3 steps.
And we're so deep in agony, we'll do anything. (by 'we', I mean 'me')
Step One: Next time I see him, tell him I like him.
At this point, ball is really in his court. Not much you can do about it.
Step Two: If the first step doesn't result in him asking you out or him kissing you because he is so overjoyed with the news...simply state, "I just need for you to know that."
Step Three: Walk away. Abort. Abort. Abort.
And that's all. Simple does it, Kate.
She insists that this is done in person. Any other way, he won't know the seriousness of it all and/or he cannot back into an excuse of 'email technical difficulties' or something along those lines.
There you have it. No more obsessing - we have moved on to actionable items. A serious plan. But if you ask me, its a very embarrassing plan.
(the next time I will see him, for certain, is Saturday)
Tuesday, May 15
And here's my drunk post...
so excuse the non-grammar - ha - not that I write perfectly sober in the first place. Yeah. Go ahead, laugh.
it took me half an hour to get out of my car. Its amazing how lazy you become when you are tipsy. Seriously, I don't know how I do it when I'm full on drunk. Listen to this biz - I have to park in a building - not the one I live in, walk down some stairs, then go outside, into another building and walk up 3 flight of stairs to be home. Can you blame me that I sat in my car and called practically everyone? OK - not true. I called three people: SK, Bev, and my neighbor. I wanted to see if my neighbor would join me in walking to a bar for drink. Yeah, that's exactly what I needed...a new drink. Bev - where the heck are you? Why didn't you answer? I have some news.
let's get it started, shall we?
I went to dinner/happy hour with the bowling group. Minus #2 (we have to rename him, quick, because he is so not #2, he is more like, what I would like to think of as my future husband or better yet - what I call him to his face: BFF. LIttle does he know it doesn't mean 'best friends forever' in my head it means: 'boyfriend forever'. Yep. Uh huh. Get on board the crazy bus.
Back to the story - we are at dinner - its 6 of us. 2 boys, 4 girls. An hour into this situation - one of the girls, who let me add, I kind of don't like to start with - from like months ago, she did something that made me go hmm and ever since, me no likey. So what she said really really sent me through the roof.
Are you ready for it?
She said, verbatim, "Last night when #2 and I were out at dinner..."
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
I so don't even know the rest of the story of whatever the fuck she said. I tuned her out quickly and turned on my green jealous bitch mode. For real. Thats how I roll. I'm sorry.
But WTF was she doing out to dinner with my Future Husband/ BFF? Can someone answer me this? Anyone? Anyone?
Why was she with him? And not me? WHY? WHY? WHY? Unhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
My mutual friend in the group tried to reassure me it was a platonic pre-dinner to meet the rest of some of the group to go to a concert later that night.
So. I don't care.
My margaritas understood me well.
Now I am understandbly upset because 1. she is not cuter than me (well in my opinion and yours, too, goshdarnit) 2. They were alone. Eating. Dinner. 3. to the rest of the world doesn't that make them look like a couple? 4. did I tell you she is so not cute.
I knew this would happen. I knew that if I didn't grow some balls and tell him something, something like this would occur making me super jealous.
Now I am a wee bit offended that he ate with her and super jealous of the situation. There you have it. Motorscooter.
I need a plan. I need plan like yesterday.
it took me half an hour to get out of my car. Its amazing how lazy you become when you are tipsy. Seriously, I don't know how I do it when I'm full on drunk. Listen to this biz - I have to park in a building - not the one I live in, walk down some stairs, then go outside, into another building and walk up 3 flight of stairs to be home. Can you blame me that I sat in my car and called practically everyone? OK - not true. I called three people: SK, Bev, and my neighbor. I wanted to see if my neighbor would join me in walking to a bar for drink. Yeah, that's exactly what I needed...a new drink. Bev - where the heck are you? Why didn't you answer? I have some news.
let's get it started, shall we?
I went to dinner/happy hour with the bowling group. Minus #2 (we have to rename him, quick, because he is so not #2, he is more like, what I would like to think of as my future husband or better yet - what I call him to his face: BFF. LIttle does he know it doesn't mean 'best friends forever' in my head it means: 'boyfriend forever'. Yep. Uh huh. Get on board the crazy bus.
Back to the story - we are at dinner - its 6 of us. 2 boys, 4 girls. An hour into this situation - one of the girls, who let me add, I kind of don't like to start with - from like months ago, she did something that made me go hmm and ever since, me no likey. So what she said really really sent me through the roof.
Are you ready for it?
She said, verbatim, "Last night when #2 and I were out at dinner..."
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!
I so don't even know the rest of the story of whatever the fuck she said. I tuned her out quickly and turned on my green jealous bitch mode. For real. Thats how I roll. I'm sorry.
But WTF was she doing out to dinner with my Future Husband/ BFF? Can someone answer me this? Anyone? Anyone?
Why was she with him? And not me? WHY? WHY? WHY? Unhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
My mutual friend in the group tried to reassure me it was a platonic pre-dinner to meet the rest of some of the group to go to a concert later that night.
So. I don't care.
My margaritas understood me well.
Now I am understandbly upset because 1. she is not cuter than me (well in my opinion and yours, too, goshdarnit) 2. They were alone. Eating. Dinner. 3. to the rest of the world doesn't that make them look like a couple? 4. did I tell you she is so not cute.
I knew this would happen. I knew that if I didn't grow some balls and tell him something, something like this would occur making me super jealous.
Now I am a wee bit offended that he ate with her and super jealous of the situation. There you have it. Motorscooter.
I need a plan. I need plan like yesterday.
Sunday, May 13
Girl Talk
The best thing about my mom is she is so easy to chit chat with for hours and hours. Unfortunately, we did not have hours. But we did have bellinis, mojitos, and four different appetizers to share.
My mom attended a graduation in North Carolina and decided to make Dallas a longer lay over than planned. How great it was that it landed on Mother's Day.
I picked her up from the airport and took her to Southlake. It's close to the airport and since its all outdoor shopping and restaurants - we could take advantage of the few hours of sunshine - which is a rare case up here lately. We shopped and then we dined. Or maybe we got tipsy because a lot was being shared. I told her all about #2 and the agony of it all.
Her answer is for me to either just tell him (and by that touch of advice she actually broke into song. You know that song/dance routine at the the beginning of 'My Best Friend's Wedding'. Uh-huh she broke into that song "Tell Him" - the sad part, I wasn't all that embarrassed, shoot, I almost sang along. Instead I bopped along to the beat in my seat. Yes- we were such a sight at Brio's bar.)
or I should ask him out. (no song for that advice) Whatev. That's so not happening.
Asking a boy out is kinda like telling him that you'll sleep with him, wham bam. I won't dare let him have the upper hand.
We also talked about my job - and how badass it has been lately. Also it's taking me to California, so I get to see Kate and E. E is recently engaged - so we're going to go dress shopping the City! I'm hoping we get to take a private jet again ;)
But Kate will be jobless pretty soon (BOO) so hopefully she and I can get some good girl talk time in - and I can possibly convince her to move to Dallas. That would be so much fun.
My mom updated me on the house she is building - she is so excited for a place to call her own that is brand new from the ground up. She's so enthusiastic over picking out flooring and cabinets.
She also got me up to speed on my brother's girlfriend. Grrr...I so dislike this girl. I have good reason - she cheated on him a few years ago and they broke up. But little hussy never stopped bothering him. Now, she is back in his (our) life and is determined to become my sister in law. Oh. Gosh. The thought almost kills me.
And the chit chat kept going on and on - I never wanted it to end. I was so sad to drop her off at the airport. I'm so my mother's daughter. When I was younger I always used to tell her that when I grow up I want to leave in the same neighborhood as her. What happened to that dream? I have no idea. Maybe the fact that she lives in Phoenix crushed it? I don't know. But being with her today made me tear up and say it once more - I wish I lived two blocks from my mom. So the hours we don't have could be days and days we'd sit back, laugh and chit chat about life.
My mom attended a graduation in North Carolina and decided to make Dallas a longer lay over than planned. How great it was that it landed on Mother's Day.
I picked her up from the airport and took her to Southlake. It's close to the airport and since its all outdoor shopping and restaurants - we could take advantage of the few hours of sunshine - which is a rare case up here lately. We shopped and then we dined. Or maybe we got tipsy because a lot was being shared. I told her all about #2 and the agony of it all.
Her answer is for me to either just tell him (and by that touch of advice she actually broke into song. You know that song/dance routine at the the beginning of 'My Best Friend's Wedding'. Uh-huh she broke into that song "Tell Him" - the sad part, I wasn't all that embarrassed, shoot, I almost sang along. Instead I bopped along to the beat in my seat. Yes- we were such a sight at Brio's bar.)
or I should ask him out. (no song for that advice) Whatev. That's so not happening.
Asking a boy out is kinda like telling him that you'll sleep with him, wham bam. I won't dare let him have the upper hand.
We also talked about my job - and how badass it has been lately. Also it's taking me to California, so I get to see Kate and E. E is recently engaged - so we're going to go dress shopping the City! I'm hoping we get to take a private jet again ;)
But Kate will be jobless pretty soon (BOO) so hopefully she and I can get some good girl talk time in - and I can possibly convince her to move to Dallas. That would be so much fun.
My mom updated me on the house she is building - she is so excited for a place to call her own that is brand new from the ground up. She's so enthusiastic over picking out flooring and cabinets.
She also got me up to speed on my brother's girlfriend. Grrr...I so dislike this girl. I have good reason - she cheated on him a few years ago and they broke up. But little hussy never stopped bothering him. Now, she is back in his (our) life and is determined to become my sister in law. Oh. Gosh. The thought almost kills me.
And the chit chat kept going on and on - I never wanted it to end. I was so sad to drop her off at the airport. I'm so my mother's daughter. When I was younger I always used to tell her that when I grow up I want to leave in the same neighborhood as her. What happened to that dream? I have no idea. Maybe the fact that she lives in Phoenix crushed it? I don't know. But being with her today made me tear up and say it once more - I wish I lived two blocks from my mom. So the hours we don't have could be days and days we'd sit back, laugh and chit chat about life.
Tuesday, May 8
Bold, Not Subtle
Since I am on foot a lot in my neighborhood, there are a few people I see out once and awhile. There are a couple fellow joggers that I run into and do the head nod. The patio waiters, at times, recognize me and give me a half wave/head nod. And then there are the bums. Well, one bum in particular.
I only run into him when I run in the mornings. I see him maybe twice a week. And each time, he says the exact same sentence to me:
"Would you like to see my Black dick"
Yes. Uhm. Hmm.
I ain't shocked at the content of this proposal - he is a bum. I have only one problem with it. His adjective.
I'm Black. He's Black.
Is it necessary for him to say "Black"? Seriously?
If he put 'big' in front of 'Black' - it would make more sense to me. Or if he wasn't Black and was saying this - it would be more funny to me. And if he changed it up a little bit each time he sees me - it would be more smart of him.
But nope, same sentence, each and every time. I just keep running and rolling my eyes, each and every time.
I only run into him when I run in the mornings. I see him maybe twice a week. And each time, he says the exact same sentence to me:
"Would you like to see my Black dick"
Yes. Uhm. Hmm.
I ain't shocked at the content of this proposal - he is a bum. I have only one problem with it. His adjective.
I'm Black. He's Black.
Is it necessary for him to say "Black"? Seriously?
If he put 'big' in front of 'Black' - it would make more sense to me. Or if he wasn't Black and was saying this - it would be more funny to me. And if he changed it up a little bit each time he sees me - it would be more smart of him.
But nope, same sentence, each and every time. I just keep running and rolling my eyes, each and every time.
Monday, May 7
Team Tessa
Yep - I am one of the few girls that still watches the Bachelor. I used to watch because I am a love-sick hopeless romantic, now I watch for entertainment sake.
I'm happy to report that I really, really, really want Tessa to win. Probably because she is the most cutest of the remaining girls - he got a rough bunch for this season. Also because she is fun, seriously, she went on the show, 'just for fun' - yeehaw.
In other TV news: Joan Clayton finally is engaged! WHOO - HOO! I was so happy, I was in tears. For those of you who don't know who Joan Clayton is - gasp- you are missing out on one of the best female sitcoms ever, Girlfriends. I honestly think that it trumps Sex and the City on so many levels. Too many to list out for y'all.
And for you commenters - no, there was no kiss. Believe me, if there was a kiss between he and I - the title would be a lot more exciting than "Uhm Hmm" and it will probably be in ALL CAPS. You know to display my EXCITEMENT!
Ha ha
In body news - my legs are at their bestest that I've seen. I've never seen them so thin and toned. Usually, I am 'eh' when it comes to my thighs and now I cannot stop staring at them. Yep. Staring at my thighs/legs in the mirror. Call me crazy. I used to think that my bust was my best asset and it was or maybe still is for those boob crazy boys - but the legs have finally come into their own.
I honestly think I am wearing just skirts and shorts from here on out. Yah!
Last night I had a dream that I had a baby with #2. Fortune telling, maybe? Anyways - we named the baby Tad. Which is odder more because I found out on Friday night through a mutual friend that all the men in his family must have the initials, TSW. So I think that tidbit of news soaked its way into my subconscious and voila! Dream baby Tad was born. But then I woke up this morning so thinking that Tad is a perfect name for a baby, I'd nickname him or her (because I'm so thinking that Tad would be a cute name for a girl as well. Kick me, please) Tadpole.
Have I mentioned we haven't even kissed, yet? Uhm hmm. And what the F is a tadpole?
I'm happy to report that I really, really, really want Tessa to win. Probably because she is the most cutest of the remaining girls - he got a rough bunch for this season. Also because she is fun, seriously, she went on the show, 'just for fun' - yeehaw.
In other TV news: Joan Clayton finally is engaged! WHOO - HOO! I was so happy, I was in tears. For those of you who don't know who Joan Clayton is - gasp- you are missing out on one of the best female sitcoms ever, Girlfriends. I honestly think that it trumps Sex and the City on so many levels. Too many to list out for y'all.
And for you commenters - no, there was no kiss. Believe me, if there was a kiss between he and I - the title would be a lot more exciting than "Uhm Hmm" and it will probably be in ALL CAPS. You know to display my EXCITEMENT!
Ha ha
In body news - my legs are at their bestest that I've seen. I've never seen them so thin and toned. Usually, I am 'eh' when it comes to my thighs and now I cannot stop staring at them. Yep. Staring at my thighs/legs in the mirror. Call me crazy. I used to think that my bust was my best asset and it was or maybe still is for those boob crazy boys - but the legs have finally come into their own.
I honestly think I am wearing just skirts and shorts from here on out. Yah!
Last night I had a dream that I had a baby with #2. Fortune telling, maybe? Anyways - we named the baby Tad. Which is odder more because I found out on Friday night through a mutual friend that all the men in his family must have the initials, TSW. So I think that tidbit of news soaked its way into my subconscious and voila! Dream baby Tad was born. But then I woke up this morning so thinking that Tad is a perfect name for a baby, I'd nickname him or her (because I'm so thinking that Tad would be a cute name for a girl as well. Kick me, please) Tadpole.
Have I mentioned we haven't even kissed, yet? Uhm hmm. And what the F is a tadpole?
Sunday, May 6
Uhm Hmm
I am completely frustrated now more than ever.
And you know what I'm talking about. I won't mention his name or analyze. I'm just going to give you the facts:
His party was great. Saw some great people I have not seen in a long ass time. Had super great conversations. Then me and him and that hug, I love love love his hugs. It was the kind of hug with just one arm because we had to keep our body language open to the other people in the conversation - his arm was around me, holding me close - and when I looked up to watch him talking - all I had to do was pucker my lips and kiss his cheek because he was talking so cute.
But that didn't happen.
But do you know what type of hug I'm talking about?
If you were someone else at the party looking at us - you'd think we were together.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Then I was the good friend and drove some drunkards home.
Let's cut to the next night. There was not that much hugging. We were back at his place watching the fight - it was basically part two of the party. Same location, same alcohol left over, same people. He had to play host - so I wasn't being my bold self.
Then I was the last person there at 2AM.
UHM HMM
and this is exactly when and where you'd think I'd have gone balls to the wall. But his roomie was with us and I am not that bold.
But when I grabbed my purse to leave, he did ask me, "Why are you leaving?"
and why I didn't stay? I have no idea. But I think at that moment when he asked me that above question, the answer in my head was to leave so this way I don't look like an easy. I honestly thought leaving was the best answer - you know, so I could be more frustrated and drag this out even farther.
Idiot am I am.
And you know what I'm talking about. I won't mention his name or analyze. I'm just going to give you the facts:
His party was great. Saw some great people I have not seen in a long ass time. Had super great conversations. Then me and him and that hug, I love love love his hugs. It was the kind of hug with just one arm because we had to keep our body language open to the other people in the conversation - his arm was around me, holding me close - and when I looked up to watch him talking - all I had to do was pucker my lips and kiss his cheek because he was talking so cute.
But that didn't happen.
But do you know what type of hug I'm talking about?
If you were someone else at the party looking at us - you'd think we were together.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Then I was the good friend and drove some drunkards home.
Let's cut to the next night. There was not that much hugging. We were back at his place watching the fight - it was basically part two of the party. Same location, same alcohol left over, same people. He had to play host - so I wasn't being my bold self.
Then I was the last person there at 2AM.
UHM HMM
and this is exactly when and where you'd think I'd have gone balls to the wall. But his roomie was with us and I am not that bold.
But when I grabbed my purse to leave, he did ask me, "Why are you leaving?"
and why I didn't stay? I have no idea. But I think at that moment when he asked me that above question, the answer in my head was to leave so this way I don't look like an easy. I honestly thought leaving was the best answer - you know, so I could be more frustrated and drag this out even farther.
Idiot am I am.
Thursday, May 3
Is Ava the New Denny? Seriously.
I can feel the dislike of this character building inside me - just as it did with Denny. Why, why, why do the Grey's writers need to pollute us in overkill with too much of one character? Is it just me or do the guest stars in this series get more screen time than McSteamy and McDreamy combined?
There is something seriously wrong with that.
Ava needs to get a memory, STAT and from the looks of next week's episode - it looks like she may be a faker! If it gets her out of Seattle Grace, I am all for it.
Can we discuss how freaking cute Addison is? Or is that just me? Or let's just ponder on the spin off for a moment.
Taye Diggs. Check. We likey.
His ex-wife. Check. She is so sleeping with the surfer - receptionist boy in the future. (and thank you so much, ABC, for shirtless-ness. Loved that!)
Judging Amy. Check. I didn't get her deal, whatever.
Tim Daly. Check. Age is doing him some good in the looks department.
The character Cooper. He can just go.
All in all. It was cute. I'd rather them have introduced us to the spin off on its own. The whole back and forth between LA and SGH was a wee too much for me. And 2 hours - holey moley - that was the longest 2 hours of my life.
I do have one (other) criticism: the show reminded me too much of 'The Practice'. Sub in doctors for the lawyers. Did anyone else get that feeling from it? I liked me some 'Practice' and I still do, if I'm up early enough to catch the syndication on FX in the mornings - but I feel that Addison's spin off can do so much more...I hope.
And it was so nice to see people in regular clothes - outside of hospital scrubs.
OMGosh, see! I can go on forever talking about Thursday night TV...oy.
One more thing - THE SLAP! I was like holey motorscooter - did he just do that?
There is something seriously wrong with that.
Ava needs to get a memory, STAT and from the looks of next week's episode - it looks like she may be a faker! If it gets her out of Seattle Grace, I am all for it.
Can we discuss how freaking cute Addison is? Or is that just me? Or let's just ponder on the spin off for a moment.
Taye Diggs. Check. We likey.
His ex-wife. Check. She is so sleeping with the surfer - receptionist boy in the future. (and thank you so much, ABC, for shirtless-ness. Loved that!)
Judging Amy. Check. I didn't get her deal, whatever.
Tim Daly. Check. Age is doing him some good in the looks department.
The character Cooper. He can just go.
All in all. It was cute. I'd rather them have introduced us to the spin off on its own. The whole back and forth between LA and SGH was a wee too much for me. And 2 hours - holey moley - that was the longest 2 hours of my life.
I do have one (other) criticism: the show reminded me too much of 'The Practice'. Sub in doctors for the lawyers. Did anyone else get that feeling from it? I liked me some 'Practice' and I still do, if I'm up early enough to catch the syndication on FX in the mornings - but I feel that Addison's spin off can do so much more...I hope.
And it was so nice to see people in regular clothes - outside of hospital scrubs.
OMGosh, see! I can go on forever talking about Thursday night TV...oy.
One more thing - THE SLAP! I was like holey motorscooter - did he just do that?
Wednesday, May 2
It Rimes with "Do Yo Thang, Girl"
That is not a misspelled word in honor of Celeb...
and I wasn't even drunk when I said that quote to Celeb.
The stupidest crap comes out of my mouth at times, I don't know why or what it is. And I'm sure the above statement sounded cuter in my head seconds before it escaped my lips. And its not unusual to hear me say something like that to my friends that I've known for some time - BUT NOT TO CELEB THAT I KNEW FOR ALL OF 5 MINUTES!
It went very well.
I wore heels because it came down to the fact that Celeb was going to be in my store and no one tells me to wear flats in my store. If we were at her place - yes, I'd wear flats, but it wasn't the case.
I have to tell you, the list of demands and her personality were a complete 180. She was so nice and down to Earth, I couldn't believe this was the same person who was appearing to be particular.
And so we'll discuss - it was probably one of 10 highlights of my life, so far. It's probably the only time I will ever get to hang out with a celebrity for half a day. Well, until, J.Lo finally realizes we are BFFs and calls me. And it was fun times.
It started out great. We met her while she was getting all dolled up and when she excused herself to continue getting ready - that's when I decided to say the title quote. Uh-huh. I decided we were tight like that.
It was then, on to lunch and the store.
We had a really great crowd and she was a gracious host. She was very approachable and spoke to anyone who came up to her. Her real entourage were even the best of the bestest. Seriously, we've had designers in our store who act more diva than Whitney Houston. Celeb was cool as a cucumber.
And that flats issue? I don't know what is up with that. Because Celeb wore 4 inch heels. 4 inch badass Louboutin heels.
And nobody seemed to care that I was in not in flats. (hee hee)
and I wasn't even drunk when I said that quote to Celeb.
The stupidest crap comes out of my mouth at times, I don't know why or what it is. And I'm sure the above statement sounded cuter in my head seconds before it escaped my lips. And its not unusual to hear me say something like that to my friends that I've known for some time - BUT NOT TO CELEB THAT I KNEW FOR ALL OF 5 MINUTES!
It went very well.
I wore heels because it came down to the fact that Celeb was going to be in my store and no one tells me to wear flats in my store. If we were at her place - yes, I'd wear flats, but it wasn't the case.
I have to tell you, the list of demands and her personality were a complete 180. She was so nice and down to Earth, I couldn't believe this was the same person who was appearing to be particular.
And so we'll discuss - it was probably one of 10 highlights of my life, so far. It's probably the only time I will ever get to hang out with a celebrity for half a day. Well, until, J.Lo finally realizes we are BFFs and calls me. And it was fun times.
It started out great. We met her while she was getting all dolled up and when she excused herself to continue getting ready - that's when I decided to say the title quote. Uh-huh. I decided we were tight like that.
It was then, on to lunch and the store.
We had a really great crowd and she was a gracious host. She was very approachable and spoke to anyone who came up to her. Her real entourage were even the best of the bestest. Seriously, we've had designers in our store who act more diva than Whitney Houston. Celeb was cool as a cucumber.
And that flats issue? I don't know what is up with that. Because Celeb wore 4 inch heels. 4 inch badass Louboutin heels.
And nobody seemed to care that I was in not in flats. (hee hee)
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