Obsession, Agony, Analyzations, and a Theory

I need one more rant and I swear after this one if you hear me obsessing over this situation once more - just yell at me. Do something to make me stop. I promise this is the last time I will over-analyze this situation until that kiss happens. (believe me, it's happening)

But over-analyzing is part of the job, right? When Someone created crushes - She also created the agony that comes along with it, no? And it's part of our job as the females in the situation to over-analyze.

Friday night keeps popping into my head, over and over again. It's like I hit the repeat button on the track. Every A, B, C, and D scenario comes up and is meticulously thought about again, and again. And again.

I'm going to drive myself crazy. After I drive my friends crazy. Friends - you guys can tell me to shut it up at any time from here on out. But first, I have a theory.

After all my thinking and not working today, I came to this conclusion: It's partly my fault that he didn't go in for the kiss.

See, I'm a very friendly person at the bar. I'll talk to anyone. Sometimes to my own detriment. You need a wingwoman - I'm there for you. I'll take care of your goal's friend that needs entertaining while you try to hook up at the bar.

Friday night - I spoke to a lot of people. Mainly, men. Cute ones, too. And when I'm friendly, I'm Friendly. I get all touchy touchy and giggly and start buying people drinks (shots). It's a problem. Especially when the wrong guy is barking up my nice tree because I'll be stuck in a conversation forever because I cannot be the that rude girl at the bar telling a boy to get lost.

There have been nights when I will warn my friends - if they see me being nice to the wrong type - COME RESCUE ME.

Nobody rescued me Friday. So, #2 witnessed my friendliness.

It hit me today:

I don't think he went in for the kiss because he saw me being flirty and nice to a lot of people. So when it came down to me being that way with him, he didn't think it anything special or noteworthy.

That's my theory. I'm sticking to it.

And I swear we are not discussing #2 until something concrete happens.

Second Verse, Same as the First

Remember how #2 tried to kiss me at the bar and I leaned back?

Keep it mind...

We were at the same bar as the previously mentioned story - where the lean back took place. On our way to the bar to meet #2 and his friends, I told my friend how excited I was to see #2. And I really was. I don't know what came over me last night - I just needed & wanted to see him. In that order.

As soon as I saw him standing at the bar - my groins started to ache. (is groins the right word?) I was suddenly aware of all my internal organs. Blood was racing through my body like you would not believe.

I knew that the ball was kind of in my court - so any action that would take place would have to be initiated by moi. And me, myself, and I were all game to it.

All throughout the night I am pulling out moves no one has seen before. Seriously. I was shocked at how I was acting. I was determined to let it be known to him that there is no question that I have a crush on him (and he is slowly but surely moving into the #1 slot). I had a few set backs in the plan. One - #2's cute coworker was also in attendance. We flirted heavily the last time we saw each other and he was one of the reasons I didn't kiss #2 before. I wanted to keep my options open.

But that was me, then. This is me, now. #2 is killing me in the giddy department.

So, I made a very bold move.

I asked him to keep me company in the restroom line. The line was super long. He agreed, I grabbed his hand and led the way. Holding his hand the entire route to the line. (if that wasn't a clue, I don't know what is)

Let me set the scene for y'all: I was in flats. Yes - I own a pair. And they are very dressy and cute, so take that Ms. Celeb (I promise to tell y'all who it is once the event is way over). #2 is super tall and since I am short, I barely clear his sternum in flat shoes.

To be eye to eye with him, I had to be on my toes. To be steady and balance myself I had to grab onto his arms.

There I am, holding on, looking into his eyes - remember, same bar as the last time, same bathroom line - the scene is the exact same!

I leaned in. 90%.

He just stood there, looking back at me.

(abort, abort, abort)

I don't know how I recovered from it, but I did, probably because I'm a trooper and there was another idiot at the bar trying to flirt with me.

Hours later, we took #2 home. Again, because failure is not an option, I pull the bathroom plan and tell my ride that I'm going in because I have to pee really badly and won't make it all the way back to her place. I run into his house, use the restroom, and go back to him meeting me in his foyer.

So, I made an even bolder move.

Scene 2, take action:

Again, I had to stand on my tip toes. Again, I had to grab onto his arms to be steady and balanced. Again, 90% lean in.

And again...he just stood there!

What. The?

I'm sorry but where this is where most girls would give up, I'm not. This is going to happen, pretty much before his party or at the party. I am determined. Nothing will stand in my way (don't hold me to that one).

Because the CIA has nothing on a woman with a plan.

It's Positively Nerve-wrackingly Frustrating

AAAACK!

I went bowling. But first, #2 made me so upset, once again! As a group we were all to meet for a pre-bowl happy hour. My girl friend called me and told me she was stuck at our store doing some shopping, so she would call me with the details later. An hour later - she called me back.
"Did #2 call you?"

Nope.

Supposedly he was supposed to call me with the details of where to meet for happy hour. Since the happy hour turned into dinner - he thought there was no need to call me.

What? The?

Whatev.

I went bowling anywa and ignored his ass. 'Nuff said. I was pissed. No, no I was very upset.

Today, I made the decision not to be the first one to spark any conversation over g-chat. Yes - I remember that I said I'd play no games, but come on, he so did the wrong thing last night. And if I wasn't telling him so, I'd show him by not speaking to him via g-chat. He is sure to get the idea, right? RIGHT?

All day went by...and then my girl friend tells me that she's been g-chatting with #2. (roll my eyes) I so know what is coming - because its like freaking 3rd grade up in this situation.

Yep, yep they are talking about me. #2 would like to know if I'm going to the Mav's watching party tonight. My response was 'if he wants to know, he can ask me' and then it turned into 'I'm not going unless he asks me'

He never asked. Ughhhhh. Join me in my frustration, please.

I'm not going because the only reason I would be going is him. And he never does anything to spark whatever it is that we have going on. And I refuse to do all the work. In the past, all its ever gotten me is a big fat let down.
And the party is 20 minutes away from where I live. And LOST is on tonight.

See, I have my reasons. But the #1 reason was: What happens if I go and nothing happens, yet again? So, I chose LOST. I read somewhere that you shouldn't change your lifestyle for a man. So, there you have it.

Speaking of #1, as Bev asked today...

because remember #2 is #2 for a reason. I need to keep remembering that. He is not my first choice in crushville.

#1: I haven't seen him in over a month. He rarely comes out and hangs with everyone, due to the fact that most of the time, we hang outside of Dallas Proper. Yeah, he is like that, y'all.

But Bev asked about him and EUREKA! I had a brilliant plan.

#2 is having a party in 2 weeks. I'm 100% positive that #1 will be there. (along with a lot more single ready to mingle men) I'm just going to attend the party with open arms and smiles. I never gave up on #1, he just hasn't been around. During his absence, I became closer to #2. So all this frustrations tangled up with flirting just may be a proximity thing. Who knows?!?!

Yes - I am frustrated because nothing is happening with #2. I like him. I know he likes me. It's at a stalemate. WTF can I do about it?

Nada, but go to his party and let fate or something or someone have a go at it. I'm throwing my hands up.

I Didn't Lean with It

I'm going bowling tonight. Before we bowl today there will be some meeting up at the bar for a later hour, early in the week happy hour.

And that's why I'm nervous.

What the F will I wear?

AND let's note that I never cared about what I wore around him before someone assumed I was the girlfriend, putting little random thoughts of 'what if I was' in my head.

Mutha...

I haven't seen him since the Saturday before Easter. Count it. Three weeks. That's a long time. Especially since the Monday after Easter is when we got into it over g-chat, marking our FBF.

That's First Big Fight.

Remember, he left me in Arlington. (did I tell that story?)

Anyways - point is I am nervous. Every shirt I own is on my bed. Every shirt that is sexy but not obvious sexy is on my couch.

I wasn't really planning on seeing him until next weekend, not this weekend but the following one. Because I wasn't going bowling tonight. Why? I needed him to miss me.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Miss me? Yeah...riiiiiiiight.

So I threw that game out the window and made a decision. I'm not going to play games with him. From here on out, what you get is what you get. And I swear I won't lean back if there is a next time he tries to kiss me.

WHOA. WAIT. Did I tell you that one?

Uhm hmm.

The Thursday before Easter, we were at a bar. Drunky monkey me and Drunky Monkey him were all flirtatious. (This is probably where the newbie assumed I was the girlfriend)
We were pretty much deep into it. And by it, I mean the dynamic of us. Hee hee - I have to laugh because a friend of mine told me that if she heard me use the word dynamic one more time when referencing #2, she would shove a bar of soap in my mouth. Ivory, please.

At some point in the night, he and I went to the bathroom and had to wait in the longest line ever. I totally remember this moment as if it happened last night. "Glamorous" was playing and I was facing #2; my back to the line. And I did that laugh where you need to be all in someone's personal space/maybe face to laugh & you also need to touch that person. It's a cute move, I don't doubt. As soon as I was finished with the move - he took the bait and leaned in for the kiss.

And me?

I leaned back. A lot. Like a contortionist a lot. I'm bendy, I found out.

I know. I know. I know. Dumb ass me. But I'm not joking with you - as drunk as I was, I remembered that dynamic and how much I loved it as it is. I couldn't let some drunken kiss that could have led to a drunken hook up ruin it.

But now. F that. Even though I am sure the moment/chance/opportunity is gone, if it should happen again, I promise I'll lean with it.

OK - still nervous...

Now it's Bound to Happen; Sooner or Later

I learned two things last night. The more important of the two: Me and shots do not go very well together. I need to learn how to say no when someone shoves a shot in my hand. Either that or I need to learn how to play off me throwing or giving it away.

I do not do shots. Period.

I can drink nothing all night and one shot will do me in the next day. I'm talking a headache that resides in the back of my head whispering, "it was that shot."

And the other lesson: Appearances can be deceiving.

Let me preface this by saying, #2 is out of town. (and yes, this part is about him, ha go figure)

In this large group of people that I hang out with people come and go. Meaning that its never really the same set of people each time we go out. There are the main stars who always show no matter what and then there are the guest stars with recurring roles, and there are introducing characters - we can call newbies.

There was a newbie last night with a guest star. I've only seen the guest star one other time a long time ago. The guest star introduced me to the newbie:
"This is Golightly. She's #2's girlfriend"

HOLD UP. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT?

"No, I'm not" and I had to make sure and say that real loud. Over the deejayed music, so all that was near me could hear. I didn't want that fib to get back to anyone. You know what I mean?

"Oh, I'm sorry. I just assumed that's how you knew everyone"

He went on to explain, that since I only started hanging out with them a couple months back and I always seemed to be close to #2, that that was the relationship.

Uhm hmm, so I reflected.

Do I come across as his girlfriend?

Seriously, I can see how someone new to the group would pin that out. I mean, hello, the dynamic.

And now in the back of my head playing neighbor with my headache is a fantasy of the above. It doesn't look or feel so bad.

Hey! Hey! You! You!

I think Avril is saying it best with:
"I know that you like me. No way! No way! No it's not a secret"

(Let me tell you that song is my new favorite anthem - I'm taking it all the way to Summer. It reminds me of those early 80's rock/pop songs. And the only way to sing along to it, is real loud, in the car - volume all the way up and screaming along with Avril)

There was no bowling last night. I wish there was. Because you know bowling is the only sure bet day that I would see him this week. Friday? Iffy. Mostly because of my impending laziness.

I'm going to Austin this Thursday, returning Friday. Not that I'll be tired, I just know that I probably won't want to go out. I haven't left yet, but I cannot wait to return.

Can I tell you a secret?

I love love love the Dallas skyline.

This morning I ran. I never run in the mornings on a weekday, ever. And since we are in Daylight Savings, the sun was just peeking out when I began the run this morning. That meant that all the lights on the downtown buildings were still on - and it was gorgeous in the early morning dawn.

There is nothing better (in exercise) than running on the streets of downtown. The city before it is charged with energy is beautiful. You get the street sweepers; the shop owners opening up; early worker bees in suits busying the sidewalks; and the bums just let out from the shelter.
And I love each.

But I love the skyline more. It was my first welcome years back when I first came to visit AP and made the decision to move here. And since that day, I have been in love with it.
Driving back home from a late night, I make sure and take the highway that will lead me straight into it - just for the view.

So now I must say, I think, especially with the weather warming up, that my runs have moved to mornings.
And I happily renewed my lease.

Did I so start this post talking about my crush? Ha.

I am Over You

That's how the text message read. And there after there was dead silence. Nothing being beamed across or transmitted through either of our cell phones. Hmmm...but one had to wonder: When the F were you under me?

Seriously.

It came from Crush #2.

Now, I will admit it was nice to know and verify that this crush did at some point have some srt of feelings for me but isn't that a bit rude? You are now over me? What did I do?

Men. Correction. Boys.

This is what happened, to my knowledge. I like him. Like, like him like him.
But he wasn't #1. I was saving my energy and flirting for #1 AND #1 is friends with #2. I looked at it this way - if I dare seeked anything with either one of them, it would mean that it was all off for the other. No? Doing a pro/con list, #1 was the obvious answer. But I see #2 way more than I see #1. Two weeks ago, I saw #2 four times in one week.

And we get along great. So great, I am in love with our dynamic. Like, super in love with the dynamic. I've never had this dynamic with anyone - boy or girl.
The dynamic is all new to me. And fun. And hilarious. He gets me. I get him.

And I won't ruin that.

I think if we ever 'hooked' up (as the young folks say) I fear the dynamic will be gone.

Some people's answer to that is: but the dynamic could also be ten times better than it is now.

Huh.

I am no pessimist, but I just fear that if we did go the extra step forward - what would happen if it didn't last? Where would the dynamic go? What would we do? IS it worth it?

And the obsession begins...

We IM each other all day long - and the dynamic is present there, too. We bowl with a group of friends every Tuesday night and the dynamic is allover the place. Bar outings - dynamic. Check. A ton of people could be around us and yep, the dynamic? Present.

Sometimes its a bickering dynamic, but its still cute as ever.

So when I got the text, I read it. Pondered. Said, "hmm...". And knew my only reply could be, for the dynamic's sake: "But when were you under me? If you know what I mean ;) And I think you do."

We are still waiting for the reply...

Ball? Yep. His court.

Too Excited & "Career Opportunities"

It's a two parter.

First, I have picked back up the book, 'love walked in' - and it's only getting better.

I just came back from San Antonio. I was there for work and had a ton of fun while doing so. I have great friends, they all showed up to support me and see me.

Bev, SK, Lil Ashley - they all showed up - some of them never set foot in our store before and I thought that was exciting. I got to introduce them to the world of jewelry.

Way more exciting was seeing Twisted Panties. I hadn't seen that girl since we graduated in 2002! I cannot believe it has been that long. It was so great to see her - I cannot wait to go back so we can properly catch up, preferably at Sushi Zushi ;)

I know some of you are waiting for news about the Brian Reunion. Ha. Never happened. Am I shocked? Nope.

See, back in the day when I dated the fool, if I ever displayed an extreme amount of excitement about something it was guaranteed that he would bail out. I have no idea why. That was our pattern. I soon caught on and learned to downsize my excitement when it came to him, then and only then did he show. Odd, no?

Years later, lesson which was learned is forgotten. I was on the phone with him the night before San Antonio. It was a quick chat - a catch up chat, if you will. He told me he would come out to the event and/or meet me out later. My response was glee and I told him I was so very excited. Verbatim.

As soon as I hung up the phone, it hit me. He ain't showing up for crap.
And he didn't. I called him, left a message, and have yet to hear back from him.
Grrrrr...

A day later and back in Dallas and at the office - we were let go early due to impending tornado. The office closed early in the day. To some people that may have meant: get home as fast as you can. To me and my coworker buddies, it meant: 2 extra hours of happy hour.

Off to the bar we went. And it was some serious fun times. The sky became extra clear (which I know now means the storm is just around the corner)
I asked one of my buddies if she wanted to do a drunk Target run - I needed mascara, bronzer, foundation, and shower gel. She was all in.

Let me remind you that it was super clear in the sky and the sun was shining so bright because I don't want anyone to think that I am an idiot who decides to go to Target with a tornado in the air.

Once in Target and gabbing in front of the Sonia Kushak case - all of a sudden it sounded like we were inside a JiffyPop bag. WTF is that?

Hail. Rain. And major wind.

A Target Team Member made an announcement but the hail was so loud, we didn't hear it. So we kept on shopping.

Next thing I know, a very serious Team Member came to escort us to the back of the store, "There is an extreme tornado warning, you have to go to the back of the store. No one can leave. Didn't you listen to the announcement?

Oh. Heck.

Locked in and at the back of the store. Do you know what's at the back of Target? Not the fun stuff - that's why its in the back. Stuff like, luggage and camping gear. We were not on the side that had the fun toys. That would have been fun. And to make matters worse - our phones were getting no signals. WTF?
Stuck in Target with luggage and cannot call a single person? What if we went down with the tornado - who would know we were in there?

We were stuck for an hour. An hour of luggage. An hour of two half drunk girls and very serious Team Members, shoppers, and kids (kill me). If I wasn't in there with my buddy, I would have kicked a Target Team Member and beelined it to the exit to brave the storm. And you know how much I love me some Target, just not the back of the store.

I'm in Love

Hold on. I'm going to start talking about a book here in a minute...

But first for all those inquiring minds, yes I did reply back to him. I intended to keep my reply short and sweet - but who could ignore the timing?

I'm going to be in SA in one week.

So the reply started out with me telling him I will be in town next week and ended with me giving him my phone number. Somewhere in between I got all gushy, I blew caution to the wind and decided to just tell him how I really felt as well - back in the day. Do I think of him? Every once and awhile - it was more so when the show "Freddie" was still on. OK - what the heck happened to that show? Was I the only one watching it? Brian looks somewhat (or did) like Freddie Prinze Jr. If Freddie were shorter. It may have been all in my head - not sure.
So that's that.
If he calls great. And you know how I like to refer to the balls...
His court.

Back to being in love with a book.

I am reading "love walked in" by Marisa de los Santos. It is the best book ever. I'm in love with both of the main characters: Cornelia and Clare.

Cornelia is a woman who simply falls in love with this man. Cornelia is one of those types that really loves nostalgia. Most of her narrative references are to old black and white classic movies. Her narrative alone sounds like it came from 1948. Her perspective on life and love is like reading what I feel when you go through falling for someone you like.

Clare is an eleven year old Hero. Yes - that capital H is on purpose. I cannot even begin to tell you her story without giving away key elements of the book. Let's just say I wish I could be as brave and smart as this little girl.

Yep, yep we're talking about fictional people. I know!

Here's the kicker Clare's dad is the man Cornelia falls in love with.
I'm not giving anything away, as its on the back jacket of the book.

And I HATE the dad.
HATE. Strong word? Yes. But we're talking fictional characters here, so I figure I am allowed to HATE this man.
And I started hating early in the book when Cornelia starts falling hard for him.
My hate for him, has made me throw the book across the room - as to want to forget his character even exists. Because he is simply messing up the dynamic between me and Cornelia.

YES - still talking about the fictional characters - but I swear if you read this book, you will be right here with me.
Right. Here.

The height of my hate for him came when he lied with one sentence: "I wish I'd known what was happening. I wish she'd told me"
OK - it's two sentences, but whatever.
With those lies I had to seriously hide the book as to not pick it up for awhile. I want that moment to last for awhile and not rush the rest of the book.

It bothered me that much and that's when I knew: I am in love.
With the book.

Go, now and get it. You will not be disappointed - I'm not finished with it yet, still at a standstill with the above liar that I HATE - but if you are reading it, read it, or whatnot - drop me a line - I need to discuss badly.
There is way too much good stuff in it not to have chit chat about.
And if I know you personally - you are so getting this mailed to you when I'm finished, for you to read ASAP or I'm handing copies out as gifts.

No joke.

Because when I'm in love I want everyone else to share it.

MySpace

MySpace. What can I say?

Some days, I hate it. Some of the time, I am in awe of it. Most of the time, it scares me.

Yes - I attempted MySpace several months ago, but since I am an idiot, I misspelled my email address which is also your login (for those few of you not on MySpace). How I misspelled, I have no idea because I can further idiocy by telling you, my email address is simply my first name, period, my last name. Yep - I misspelled my name.

So I could never log into my account. Nor could I email the bastards for my login information because they send it to your email address. Oy.

I hope you are still with me...

Moving on, I created a second account. Second verse, same as the first.

Happy, happy? Joy, joy?

One Sunday I spent hours looking up old friends dating all the way back to elementary school. I was so obsessed I called my brother (who lives with my mom, and his girlfriend, and my adopted brother. And that's what you call a Full House) to go find my first yearbook and run down the list of names for me that I had forgotten.
That was one crazy adventure.

Another day, I devoted to more current past friends and looked up everyone from the college days. Yes - I skipped high school because fuck that.

And then, of course, the stalker in me just had to look up all the ex-boyfriends. And when you go looking you find.
Married. Divorced. Children. Living in New York city (bastard!)
You see recent photos and they either got hotter or uglier (thank you, thank you) or even, bigger.
Then I get all Pink Panther on it and start investigating - and by this I mean, I scour their friends list.
And decode each one, one by one, friend by friend, comment by comment.
It is exhausting but at the same time addicting.

You'd be shocked to what you find out on your own investigations.

And what is up with my friends who will only communicate with me through MySpace? My friend, X is the perfect example.
I have her work email, personal email, cell phone number, and home number. And vice versa.
I'll reach all of the above to ask her to dinner or what plans she has for the weekend.
No response.
And its not like I don't know she's getting these messages.
I'll get home and check MySpace - HELLO - X's communication of choice: MySpace email.
WTF?
And she is not the only one! I get messages all the time from people I see on a regular basis - even people I work with, three cubicle rows away! But still they want to ask me weekend plans via MySpace.

Oh. Well.

Months ago, on the first go round - I did look up an old boyfriend - one that particularly told to die.
He didn't apparently because there he is live and well on MySpace. I left it alone.
I was not going to contact him for all the beans in the pot.

Last night I come home and check my email. I had a message from him.
And it was a long one. A very long one.
It was sweet and sad.

To sum up this guy, who we can call Brian, we 'dated' but never had our ducks in a row. He lived at home with his parents never seemed like he was going to leave. He was out at a bar every night of the week. And I swear to this day, one of his friends dealed some sort of drug - it bothered me more that they would never admit it to me more so than the career choice itself.
After we called it quits, we kept in touch and I am sad to report - that the next boyfriend after him, oh gosh how do I say this?
I cheated with Brian on new boyfriend. All. The. Time.
Like at least twice a week.
And to defend my younger self - I was 22 and didn't care.

Some years down the way, affair in the past, I went to visit San Antonio (shocker!) for a work trip. I was staying in a hotel downtown. Brian and I hooked up the first night I was there. Second night we made plans to have dinner together.

He stood me up.

I was livid. LIVID.

1. I know about 8 people in San Antonio that I could have made dinner plans with.
2. I didn't have a car, so I was basically stranded downtown. Alone.
3. I was too proud to call up one of the 8 people to come eat with me or meet me up. Plus 7 of them didn't even know I was in town because I planned on only hanging with Brian.

But that's not the end of that story. Brian decides to show up hours later at my hotel door, drunk as a skunk. I gave it to him and I gave it to him good. Real good. The yelling ended with me telling him I hope he died on the way home driving drunk.
I know. Harsh. But again to defend my younger self, I didn't care. I was pissed. No, livid. LIVID.

That was the end of us. Dunzo.

Until last night when I received the best ever letter in the form of a MySpace email from him. To sum it up and not to bore further, he said:
He didn't know why we couldn't work. He is upset that we ended the way we did. And the kicker, are you ready for it...
"I can't think of a day that I don't think about you"

WHOA.

Did I reply?




You bet your MySpace, I did.

Beyonce Will Never Be J.Lo

I've had my speculations all along. Beyonce is trying to become the next J.Lo

And I ain't biting.

First - there is the caramel/blonde weave action. J. Lo had it first.
Then there was the short glittery shirt dress. J.Lo wore it first.
Beyonce had to go snag a rap mogul. Ahem - J.Lo been there and done that way before Beyonce.
Big earrings. Bentleys. Diva 'tude.
J.Lo has done it all and Beyonce is scraping at the left overs.

Now don't get me wrong. I like Beyonce. A lot. I just wish the girl would get original and do something we haven't seen before - especially seen on J.Lo.

As of late, I was beginning to think - hmm, about time Beyonce branched out of Jennifer's shadow.

Then, I watched today Today Show.
Uhm hmm.
The girl went and done it again.

Just watch. Stay tuned for the second verse, not the same as the first:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=x-QDEGkB1_k

And when the F did she become Latina?
WHEN?

Now that J.Lo went and got down with her Hispanic side, Beyonce had to dip really low and find hers, too. As if the Shakira duet wasn't enough...

AIYEE.

Free Spirit

In hindsight, my mom thinks I'm lucky to be alive. Another friend quickly told me to check if I still had my wallet. I laughed. Bev laughed. After a lecture of how to be safe in the big city, I'm no longer laughing...

To start my date with myself, I walked down to the closest pedicure shop. It's not the best best in town - but they serve wine and if you get a man he will scrub your feet to death. If you get a girl, it's only worth the massaging chair, wine, and nail polish job. I had to wait an hour to get my pedicure - the place was full. I decided on a hot pink polish - a complete 180 from the very vamp black I've been rocking for almost a year (different pedicure and polish changes, just the same color over and over again)

After the pedi, I slided next door to the cutest shop in my neighborhood, Flirt. A lot of people think its super expensive, but its really more reasonable than its exterior may let you in on. I've found some great one of a kind pieces in there and they've become staples in my closet. Saturday, I didn't buy anything - after refraining myself from buying, yet another pair of patent leather shoes. What can I say? I am addicted to the shiny! I have the wedge pump - which seems to be highly coveted whenever I wear them. I have a patent heel and a patent wedge peep toe. I'm looking for some patent ballet flats next...

Anyway, next stop was Chipotle for a free burrito bol. I've had the coupon for over a month and just now am getting around to using it - on it's last day of use. I order and sit at the counter.
About 4 seats away from me is a guy eating solo and reading the paper. I take out my book (which I am so going to tell you guys about later) and settle in for my lunch. A couple minutes later, this very cute guy sits down next to me - no food or drink with him. He sits for maybe half a minute, then gets up, walks outside and starts talking on his cell phone. I know this because the counter faces this huge window that faces the busy street. The guy is just standing there talking.

Guy at the other end of the counter says, "That was very weird. Are you okay?"
I didn't get why I would not be okay, but I said yes, and carried on.
A half hour later, guy is still on his phone outside, I have to pass him to leave and walk the way I came, and I am thinking nothing of this dude. Then...
"Hey, do you mind if I walk with you?" He says.
What was I to do? He was cute and it's a very busy street that I'm walking on, so I don't feel like I'm dangered.

We walk. We talk. We walk. We talk.
A few blocks later, I have to turn to get to my place and we both already established that he is not walking me near my place. I told him this is where he leaves me and he asked for my number. I gave him my business card because we are on a street and I'm not giving out my cell number to this guy - no matter how cute he is. This guy was very taken aback that I wouldn't give him my home/cell number.
As I walked away, he told me, verbatim:
"I'm just going to stand here and watch your sexy legs walk away"

Ew.
Ew.
Ew.
He almost had this in the bag but with a cheesy line like that, there is no way I'm returning his phone call.

(did I mention I am wearing a skirt and I guess I have good legs, I run everyday, they better be sexy. I overachieve like that.)

My place is about six blocks from where I left him. Just shy of two blocks from my apartment, I see another dude walking toward me. He looked like he was coming directly for me, it was that obvious.

"Hey. I just came from a women's seminar" He started.

No 'hello', 'hi', or a 'what's up'. He just started in like I knew him and we just ran into each other on the street corner.

This is so odd, two weirdos within 5 minutes of each other, I just had to stop and talk and talk to him. And he just got weirder and weirder.

He asked me to go to lunch with him. I said no. He then asked if he could buy me dessert. I said no. He then asked if we could hang out in the grass and have some ice cream. Double no. He asked me for my number. I laughed and gave him my business card. He was very offended by that one.

Can I ask, Do people really give out their numbers in situations like these? Seriously. Why would they think that I'd hand out my number on the street corner like it's a 1800PIMP line or something?

Moving along with Weirdo #2; he asked me if he could see my soul and stepped so close to me, I could reach out my tongue and kiss him. He then took off my sunglasses for me.
Was I nervous? YES. Scared? Not really. My mom said this is when I should have ran for help...

Looking into my soul, he commented that I had great eyes. He gave me his business card. The only way I could see to get out of this conversation was to tell him I was late meeting a friend at my apartment. He ignored this and kept on talking, "I'm a free spirit" He told me.
"Yeah, well I gotta go" was my reply.
He laughed and asked if I didn't want to be a free spirit with him.
I don't know what the heck that meant, but all I knew is that I needed to get home ASAP.

And so I did. And I'm not leaving my apartment at all today unless I'm in my car.