I'm going bowling tonight. Before we bowl today there will be some meeting up at the bar for a later hour, early in the week happy hour.
And that's why I'm nervous.
What the F will I wear?
AND let's note that I never cared about what I wore around him before someone assumed I was the girlfriend, putting little random thoughts of 'what if I was' in my head.
I haven't seen him since the Saturday before Easter. Count it. Three weeks. That's a long time. Especially since the Monday after Easter is when we got into it over g-chat, marking our FBF.
That's First Big Fight.
Remember, he left me in Arlington. (did I tell that story?)
Anyways - point is I am nervous. Every shirt I own is on my bed. Every shirt that is sexy but not obvious sexy is on my couch.
I wasn't really planning on seeing him until next weekend, not this weekend but the following one. Because I wasn't going bowling tonight. Why? I needed him to miss me.
Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Miss me? Yeah...riiiiiiiight.
So I threw that game out the window and made a decision. I'm not going to play games with him. From here on out, what you get is what you get. And I swear I won't lean back if there is a next time he tries to kiss me.
WHOA. WAIT. Did I tell you that one?
The Thursday before Easter, we were at a bar. Drunky monkey me and Drunky Monkey him were all flirtatious. (This is probably where the newbie assumed I was the girlfriend)
We were pretty much deep into it. And by it, I mean the dynamic of us. Hee hee - I have to laugh because a friend of mine told me that if she heard me use the word dynamic one more time when referencing #2, she would shove a bar of soap in my mouth. Ivory, please.
At some point in the night, he and I went to the bathroom and had to wait in the longest line ever. I totally remember this moment as if it happened last night. "Glamorous" was playing and I was facing #2; my back to the line. And I did that laugh where you need to be all in someone's personal space/maybe face to laugh & you also need to touch that person. It's a cute move, I don't doubt. As soon as I was finished with the move - he took the bait and leaned in for the kiss.
I leaned back. A lot. Like a contortionist a lot. I'm bendy, I found out.
I know. I know. I know. Dumb ass me. But I'm not joking with you - as drunk as I was, I remembered that dynamic and how much I loved it as it is. I couldn't let some drunken kiss that could have led to a drunken hook up ruin it.
But now. F that. Even though I am sure the moment/chance/opportunity is gone, if it should happen again, I promise I'll lean with it.
OK - still nervous...