In hindsight, my mom thinks I'm lucky to be alive. Another friend quickly told me to check if I still had my wallet. I laughed. Bev laughed. After a lecture of how to be safe in the big city, I'm no longer laughing...
To start my date with myself, I walked down to the closest pedicure shop. It's not the best best in town - but they serve wine and if you get a man he will scrub your feet to death. If you get a girl, it's only worth the massaging chair, wine, and nail polish job. I had to wait an hour to get my pedicure - the place was full. I decided on a hot pink polish - a complete 180 from the very vamp black I've been rocking for almost a year (different pedicure and polish changes, just the same color over and over again)
After the pedi, I slided next door to the cutest shop in my neighborhood, Flirt. A lot of people think its super expensive, but its really more reasonable than its exterior may let you in on. I've found some great one of a kind pieces in there and they've become staples in my closet. Saturday, I didn't buy anything - after refraining myself from buying, yet another pair of patent leather shoes. What can I say? I am addicted to the shiny! I have the wedge pump - which seems to be highly coveted whenever I wear them. I have a patent heel and a patent wedge peep toe. I'm looking for some patent ballet flats next...
Anyway, next stop was Chipotle for a free burrito bol. I've had the coupon for over a month and just now am getting around to using it - on it's last day of use. I order and sit at the counter.
About 4 seats away from me is a guy eating solo and reading the paper. I take out my book (which I am so going to tell you guys about later) and settle in for my lunch. A couple minutes later, this very cute guy sits down next to me - no food or drink with him. He sits for maybe half a minute, then gets up, walks outside and starts talking on his cell phone. I know this because the counter faces this huge window that faces the busy street. The guy is just standing there talking.
Guy at the other end of the counter says, "That was very weird. Are you okay?"
I didn't get why I would not be okay, but I said yes, and carried on.
A half hour later, guy is still on his phone outside, I have to pass him to leave and walk the way I came, and I am thinking nothing of this dude. Then...
"Hey, do you mind if I walk with you?" He says.
What was I to do? He was cute and it's a very busy street that I'm walking on, so I don't feel like I'm dangered.
We walk. We talk. We walk. We talk.
A few blocks later, I have to turn to get to my place and we both already established that he is not walking me near my place. I told him this is where he leaves me and he asked for my number. I gave him my business card because we are on a street and I'm not giving out my cell number to this guy - no matter how cute he is. This guy was very taken aback that I wouldn't give him my home/cell number.
As I walked away, he told me, verbatim:
"I'm just going to stand here and watch your sexy legs walk away"
He almost had this in the bag but with a cheesy line like that, there is no way I'm returning his phone call.
(did I mention I am wearing a skirt and I guess I have good legs, I run everyday, they better be sexy. I overachieve like that.)
My place is about six blocks from where I left him. Just shy of two blocks from my apartment, I see another dude walking toward me. He looked like he was coming directly for me, it was that obvious.
"Hey. I just came from a women's seminar" He started.
No 'hello', 'hi', or a 'what's up'. He just started in like I knew him and we just ran into each other on the street corner.
This is so odd, two weirdos within 5 minutes of each other, I just had to stop and talk and talk to him. And he just got weirder and weirder.
He asked me to go to lunch with him. I said no. He then asked if he could buy me dessert. I said no. He then asked if we could hang out in the grass and have some ice cream. Double no. He asked me for my number. I laughed and gave him my business card. He was very offended by that one.
Can I ask, Do people really give out their numbers in situations like these? Seriously. Why would they think that I'd hand out my number on the street corner like it's a 1800PIMP line or something?
Moving along with Weirdo #2; he asked me if he could see my soul and stepped so close to me, I could reach out my tongue and kiss him. He then took off my sunglasses for me.
Was I nervous? YES. Scared? Not really. My mom said this is when I should have ran for help...
Looking into my soul, he commented that I had great eyes. He gave me his business card. The only way I could see to get out of this conversation was to tell him I was late meeting a friend at my apartment. He ignored this and kept on talking, "I'm a free spirit" He told me.
"Yeah, well I gotta go" was my reply.
He laughed and asked if I didn't want to be a free spirit with him.
I don't know what the heck that meant, but all I knew is that I needed to get home ASAP.
And so I did. And I'm not leaving my apartment at all today unless I'm in my car.