Hot Dogs and Ice Cream

My cheeks hurt. And whenever I get like this, it's funny because I eat the same way falling for someone that one would eat breaking up. Hence - the hot dog and ice cream dinner.

Now that we have passed the dramatic portion of whatever the heck you will call this relationship. Because I live too far to call it dating. And it's too fresh and new to call it anything else.
Limbo?

Regardless, my cheeks hurt.
Saturday late late into the night or was it early early in the morning - things were said...
and I giggled. And blushed.

And I haven't stopped.

And its not the same giggle that I usually have - oh heck no, this giggle is something new.

And can I sound like a freak for a moment?
I don't think 30 minutes can go by without me replaying the night, internally (let's just say that my brain is happy) and then giggling, blushing, and hiding underneath my hands that are covering my school girl crush face.

When was the last time I felt this way?
...

I feel bad for my friends - they will be getting the worst of it - countless upon endless stories about him. Him.

Boy that I didn't give one ounce attention to when we first met.
Boy I never thought I'd see again.
Boy who lives far, far away.
Boy who was only good for racy text messages.
Boy who has baggage.
Boy whose best friend royally pissed off a bunch of people this past weekend.
Boy who calls me baby and I like it...seriously, his lips vibrate when he says that word and somehow it turns into a gift for me.

And of course there is the dumb part of me. You know the one that is scared to call him because I may look needy, desperate, chaser. And the other part who, yes, did not pay him enough attention at the bar because? come on - need I explain?
Yeah - he invited us over. And yes - if he didn't want us/me there he wouldn't have told us where he was.
But my pride didn't want to look like we were there just for him. And oh goodness bless, how I became a nervous wreck in the bar, as soon as I saw him -
Because when the fuck did he get cuter?
Is it really possible that he got hotter in the month I hadn't seen him?
And the other crazy side of me that thinks this could all be one - sided and its only me that is feeling this way?

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

This is a mutha...!

And what the fuck am I going to do in the next week and a half? Seriously, what?!?


sidenote: thank goodness I don't live there because I think I would have gone all bat shit crazy by now. And is it just me or can I only find men in other cities?