If I ask you if you can take me to the airport, especially when I baked you $20 worth of cupcakes and got nothing back in return...you should know that it's because you owe me.
There are two airports here in town. I live less than 10 minutes from one of them. BUT that one can only take you so far when it comes to flight travel. Far being anywhere in the state. Only two major airlines operate out of it. It's less than a $8 cab fare. $6 a day parking. Whenever I fly out of it, I usually take a cab or leave my car depending on the length of travel.
The other airport is the big one, the international one, the one that can take you anywhere. Anywhere this time being Phoenix. It is a 25-30 minute car ride. You have to do about 3 highways to get there from my place. It is not in the city. And it's a $50 plus cab fare.
Everyone who lives near me knows that. If you leave in the city and need that airport, your best bet (cheapest bet) is to find a friend to take you out there and then you owe them big.
Isn't it that way for all cities and airports?
Or are we all jet-setters?
Friends just take friends to airports. Right?
Well my flight leaves at 11Am. I will have to be in the airport around 9AM. Anyone picking me up would have to be here at my apartment around 8AM. You know, to beat traffic.
Cupcake friend who thought a dollar was too much...remember her? I won't let y'all forget.
I asked her for three reasons.
1. The cupcakes.
2. She has a job where she controls her hours. The girl gets to work at 11AM and leaves at 4PM and gets paid salary. Her boss works in a different city, so she can get away with it. We don't ever feel sympathy when she complains about her job hours. I can tell you that. And believe me. She complains.
3. One sunny Sunday morning, I woke up extra early to pick her up from that same airport. AND she only asked me the night before. On text message.
So. I asked her for the favor. She said yes. This was Monday.
Tuesday, she kept referring to the flight time and what time we needed to be there and traffic, blah blah.
Let's just say they were the type of questions that had me suspicious that she was leaning towards not taking me to the airport.
I answered them and we were still a go. Whew!
Wednesday, she texts me asking me if she can pick me up around 7:45/8:00 AM because she has a meeting at 9AM.
Suspicious.
What could I do, but say yes? Anything so I don't have to pay $50 for a smelly taxi, for a half hour (maybe more) drive to B.F.E. (when was the last time heard that one?)
From that moment on, I am keenly paranoid that she is on the verge of canceling the entire favor. Let's also add that I have not even suggested mere upset over those damn cupcakes.
Today, feeling her out, I dropped her an email. Oh and you will die on how nice I am:
"Cupcake. I'm on my way to Borders for some airport/in-flight reads. Do you want anything?"
(she is an avid reader)
Her reply: "No Sweetie! Thanks! You have fun!"
Hmmm...situation under control. So I thought...
20 minutes later, I get this text message from Cupcake:
"Is there anyone else that can take you tomorrow? I was just asked to attend a meeting at 8:00Am!!!!"
Suspect?
YES.
Refer back to Wednesday when she had a 9Am meeting...uhm hmm.
Y'all take it from here. Because? Yeah! I'm mad.
Thursday, August 31
Since I Have Nothing But Time
You know I love to bake. Up to this point I have always used other chefs' recipes for your basic vanilla cupcake.
Each time I wondered how each one just one day came up with their own versions of such a simple recipe. With all this time on my hands, I decided to take a day and play chemist in the kitchen.
Y'all know how I had $20 worth of baking ingredients anyway...yeah, bitter. I put them to use, tested, baked, and came up with 2 recipes. The first was awful. Then with a twist here and there, and a few of my own tricks, I give you my Very Own Vanilla Cupcakes:
1.5 sticks of butter softened
1/2 cup of superfine sugar
1.5 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of cornstarch
a pinch of salt
3 eggs
1.5 teaspoons of vanilla extract (the clear one)
1 tablespoon of vegetable oil
Pre-heat oven to 350 deg. and line your muffin pan. Mix all ingredients for about 2 minutes. Divide mixture into pan. Bake for 20 minutes.
As soon as they left the oven, I brushed the tops of each one with butter and then immediately put in the cake dome and let them cool in there.
Basically I dipped the pastry brush in some butter and tapped each cupcake. I did it because I hate a dry cupcake and love the butter taste (call me Paula Deen).
It was barely a drop of butter per cake.
I also find the sooner I cover a cake the more moist it is, so that's the reason for covering in the dome so soon.
Let them cool for an hour. Then frost. I used the same buttercream recipe in my pink lemonade cupcake recipe. Enjoy!
Each time I wondered how each one just one day came up with their own versions of such a simple recipe. With all this time on my hands, I decided to take a day and play chemist in the kitchen.
Y'all know how I had $20 worth of baking ingredients anyway...yeah, bitter. I put them to use, tested, baked, and came up with 2 recipes. The first was awful. Then with a twist here and there, and a few of my own tricks, I give you my Very Own Vanilla Cupcakes:
1.5 sticks of butter softened
1/2 cup of superfine sugar
1.5 cups of flour
1 tablespoon of cornstarch
a pinch of salt
3 eggs
1.5 teaspoons of vanilla extract (the clear one)
1 tablespoon of vegetable oil
Pre-heat oven to 350 deg. and line your muffin pan. Mix all ingredients for about 2 minutes. Divide mixture into pan. Bake for 20 minutes.
As soon as they left the oven, I brushed the tops of each one with butter and then immediately put in the cake dome and let them cool in there.
Basically I dipped the pastry brush in some butter and tapped each cupcake. I did it because I hate a dry cupcake and love the butter taste (call me Paula Deen).
It was barely a drop of butter per cake.
I also find the sooner I cover a cake the more moist it is, so that's the reason for covering in the dome so soon.
Let them cool for an hour. Then frost. I used the same buttercream recipe in my pink lemonade cupcake recipe. Enjoy!
Monday, August 28
Cup-A-Cakey-Doo
Did I share this with you, yet? The results of those Pink Lemonade cupcakes?
Because I am mad. I'm just saying.
My friend is walking the 3 Day Walk for Komen. She is not raising money as quickly as she thought she would. Seeing it was trouble for people, especially those she works with, to donate to the cause. She thought she'd make it so you'd get something out of it: a cupcake.
She approached me to bake her some cupcakes. Some being a lot. I excitedly took the challenge, ha. I'd bake them for her, she'd sell them for $1. I thought a dollar was not enough, she thought it was too much. ?!?! I don't know about you guys, but I pay close to $2 per cupcake at the grocery store--and that's those mass produced cupcakes. Gee, at a bakery it's between $1.75 to $3.00 for a cupcake.
And I think once her co-workers knew it was for charity, they'd gladly spend a dollar for a cupcake. Honestly, I thought they'd go ahead and giver her $5 bills. Maybe I over-estimate people's generosity?!?
The point to remember is that she thinks a dollar is way too much.
I then spent an hour online looking for a 'lemonade' like cupcake recipe and $20 on ingredients. I didn't mind the money because she'd make more than $20 for the Komen Foundation.
Oh and another point to remember, I have no job and she never offered to pay me for the grocery bill.
So one afternoon, I spent hours baking 300 cupcakes (exaggerated for the story. Yes, it was more like 50). I also had to be awake and ready at 7AM for her to pick them up on her way to work the next day. Yeah, 7AM is not a stretch for me, but I had to put on clothes, the wig, and my contacts. I had to go outside, hence be seen by my neighbors leaving happily for their jobs. And I am not so vain that people don't see me without my contacts, but my glasses are broken, so it's always contacts for me.
With all this explanation: How much do you think she raised by selling those cupcakes?
Curious, I sent her an email around 3:00pm to check in on our sales. Her reply, so verbatim for you, below.
"Hey Honey Bunny! The cupcakes are delicious! Everyone loves them! They are all gone! People have been coming to my desk wanting to know the recipe!"
Uhm hmm. Girl loves her exclamation marks. Me, being suspicious of the exclamation point dared asked, "How much did you get?"
Again, verbatim:
"I decided not to ask for money for the cupcakes! It just came down to a dollar was too much! So I set up two tables with the cupcakes on them and a small sign next to them reminding everyone that I am collecting donations for my walk. This way whenever someone goes and grabs a cupcake they are reminded to donate for me!"
WHAT? THE? BATTER?
So I repeated the question, "How much did people donate to you then?"
Verbatim: "Nothing! But at least they were reminded by your yummy cupcakes to donate whenever they have a chance!"
Oh. Hell. To. The. No.
1. I spent my precious unemployed $20 on those ingredients. I know $20 isn't a lot, but let me tell you how I can now stretch that to 2-3 lunches with friends. And let me tell you how lunch is now the only social setting I have for friends. Because? It's the cheapest way to be social for me nowadays.
2. I spent a good 4 hours on those things. And that's not including the online research or the trip (which cost gas) to the grocery store. Those 4 hours could have been used reading blogs, watching Oprah, and job hunting.
3. Really and seriously: it's the principle. If she just wanted to give away cupcakes, she could have went to the grocery store and bought cupcakes. If I knew they'd be given away for free...then, I would have had her pay for the ingredients. I don't know what kind of idea I'm giving away here, but Golightly doesn't just bake cupcakes everyday for the fun of it. Well, it is fun. But you know what I am saying? You just cannot come over and pick up a dozen cakes from me because no matter how I make it sound, I'm not baking a cupcake marathon over here, day in and day out!
I'm just saying. I am mad.
Because I am mad. I'm just saying.
My friend is walking the 3 Day Walk for Komen. She is not raising money as quickly as she thought she would. Seeing it was trouble for people, especially those she works with, to donate to the cause. She thought she'd make it so you'd get something out of it: a cupcake.
She approached me to bake her some cupcakes. Some being a lot. I excitedly took the challenge, ha. I'd bake them for her, she'd sell them for $1. I thought a dollar was not enough, she thought it was too much. ?!?! I don't know about you guys, but I pay close to $2 per cupcake at the grocery store--and that's those mass produced cupcakes. Gee, at a bakery it's between $1.75 to $3.00 for a cupcake.
And I think once her co-workers knew it was for charity, they'd gladly spend a dollar for a cupcake. Honestly, I thought they'd go ahead and giver her $5 bills. Maybe I over-estimate people's generosity?!?
The point to remember is that she thinks a dollar is way too much.
I then spent an hour online looking for a 'lemonade' like cupcake recipe and $20 on ingredients. I didn't mind the money because she'd make more than $20 for the Komen Foundation.
Oh and another point to remember, I have no job and she never offered to pay me for the grocery bill.
So one afternoon, I spent hours baking 300 cupcakes (exaggerated for the story. Yes, it was more like 50). I also had to be awake and ready at 7AM for her to pick them up on her way to work the next day. Yeah, 7AM is not a stretch for me, but I had to put on clothes, the wig, and my contacts. I had to go outside, hence be seen by my neighbors leaving happily for their jobs. And I am not so vain that people don't see me without my contacts, but my glasses are broken, so it's always contacts for me.
With all this explanation: How much do you think she raised by selling those cupcakes?
Curious, I sent her an email around 3:00pm to check in on our sales. Her reply, so verbatim for you, below.
"Hey Honey Bunny! The cupcakes are delicious! Everyone loves them! They are all gone! People have been coming to my desk wanting to know the recipe!"
Uhm hmm. Girl loves her exclamation marks. Me, being suspicious of the exclamation point dared asked, "How much did you get?"
Again, verbatim:
"I decided not to ask for money for the cupcakes! It just came down to a dollar was too much! So I set up two tables with the cupcakes on them and a small sign next to them reminding everyone that I am collecting donations for my walk. This way whenever someone goes and grabs a cupcake they are reminded to donate for me!"
WHAT? THE? BATTER?
So I repeated the question, "How much did people donate to you then?"
Verbatim: "Nothing! But at least they were reminded by your yummy cupcakes to donate whenever they have a chance!"
Oh. Hell. To. The. No.
1. I spent my precious unemployed $20 on those ingredients. I know $20 isn't a lot, but let me tell you how I can now stretch that to 2-3 lunches with friends. And let me tell you how lunch is now the only social setting I have for friends. Because? It's the cheapest way to be social for me nowadays.
2. I spent a good 4 hours on those things. And that's not including the online research or the trip (which cost gas) to the grocery store. Those 4 hours could have been used reading blogs, watching Oprah, and job hunting.
3. Really and seriously: it's the principle. If she just wanted to give away cupcakes, she could have went to the grocery store and bought cupcakes. If I knew they'd be given away for free...then, I would have had her pay for the ingredients. I don't know what kind of idea I'm giving away here, but Golightly doesn't just bake cupcakes everyday for the fun of it. Well, it is fun. But you know what I am saying? You just cannot come over and pick up a dozen cakes from me because no matter how I make it sound, I'm not baking a cupcake marathon over here, day in and day out!
I'm just saying. I am mad.
Scared, But Whatever
I woke up yesterday scared out of my mind.
Of What? Who knows...
But I cannot shake it off. What the? If I sit still long enough, the fear creeps back. I am trying to stay busy but it's hard to fill up all your hours when you have nothing much to do. So, yeah I am scared.
I am sure it all has to do with the endless job search and money in the bank dwindling...
Speaking of job searching, as if I have something better to speak about, hee hee. Referrals are a false hope for a job seeker. You feel special because you got the inside scoop on a job opening that hasn't been announced to the general public, yet. Your resume goes directly from the referring friend to the hiring manager, bypassing the HR Gatekeeper. Referring friend serves you up on a silver platter, all shiny and new and perfect for the position.
You, then think that you have an upper hand, an opportunity is waiting---NOT.
You are left wondering, what the heck went wrong?
Here's my question of the day: Why do some employers check an applicant's credit for job screening?
I get it if you are trying for a job in the financial industry or government entity, but otherwise, I am confused...AND doesn't hurt your credit score when your credit is being checked frequently? (I heard that somewhere)
Oh and how funny were the Emmy's last night? I think it's safe to say that we have all seen enough booby cleavage to last us the rest of the year. So bring it on, VMA's, bring it on.
Of What? Who knows...
But I cannot shake it off. What the? If I sit still long enough, the fear creeps back. I am trying to stay busy but it's hard to fill up all your hours when you have nothing much to do. So, yeah I am scared.
I am sure it all has to do with the endless job search and money in the bank dwindling...
Speaking of job searching, as if I have something better to speak about, hee hee. Referrals are a false hope for a job seeker. You feel special because you got the inside scoop on a job opening that hasn't been announced to the general public, yet. Your resume goes directly from the referring friend to the hiring manager, bypassing the HR Gatekeeper. Referring friend serves you up on a silver platter, all shiny and new and perfect for the position.
You, then think that you have an upper hand, an opportunity is waiting---NOT.
You are left wondering, what the heck went wrong?
Here's my question of the day: Why do some employers check an applicant's credit for job screening?
I get it if you are trying for a job in the financial industry or government entity, but otherwise, I am confused...AND doesn't hurt your credit score when your credit is being checked frequently? (I heard that somewhere)
Oh and how funny were the Emmy's last night? I think it's safe to say that we have all seen enough booby cleavage to last us the rest of the year. So bring it on, VMA's, bring it on.
Friday, August 25
It Was Just a Matter of Time
Unh-huh, the following conversation just occured:
Mom: Golightly, I'm at Target, do you need anything?
Me: Yeah, toothpaste, shower gel, some tee shirts, and a pair of white shorts if you see any.
Mom: Ha ha, well I'll get you some stuff and I have a surprise for you
Me: Ooh, really!
Mom: Yeah instead of me sending this to you, guess what I got you.
Me: Uhm, uhm, uh...
Mom: A plane ticket!
Me:
Mom: To Phoenix!
Me:
Mom: Next week!
Me:
Mom: Are you still there?
Me: yeaaaaaaaaaaah...
Mom: It'll be fun. You won't be bored.
Me: Oh, yeah...whoa, how long am I staying?
Mom: A week! This way you can help out in the clinic and work with us during the day--
Me: Whoa-What?!? Regis and Kelly, The View, Martha, Tyra Banks, Days of Our Lives, TRL, Oprah, and Girlfriend re-runs!
Mom: Huh?
Me: A week, mom, seriously?
Mom: Yes, it'll be so much fun. I'll pay you!
Me: hmmm...
Mom: I hate to hear you so bored, you're not doing anything, so you may as well do nothing here.
Me: I won't be doing nothing, you just said I'll be working.
Mom: we can plan something fun while you are here!
Me: Hmph.
Mom: It'll be fun!
Me: a week!
Mom: I'll pay you!
Me: a week?!?
Mom: What else are you going to do?
Me: a week...
Mom: Well, I emailed you the confirmation. You leave Dallas on Friday and then return the next Sunday---
Me: Whoa! That's a week and two days!
Mom: Non-stop, maybe you can bump it up to first class, niiiice, huh?
(why she said that I don't know. Shouldn't she be the one bumping it?)
Me: a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek and two days!!
Mom: You are welcome. I'm excited. Aren't you? This way I don't have to mail the stuff I got you and we'll have fun.
Me: Yeah.
Okay not that I'm not appreciative, but a freaking week in the hottest place in the nation and I'll have to work! Ugh. You should have heard her, I swear in the next conversation she is going to have a moving crew hired as well. I bet you now.
My only hope is to truly find a job in this next week (pleeeeeeeeeeeeze God, pleeeeeeeeeeeze)
For now, y'all get to hear me complain for the next week.
Mom: Golightly, I'm at Target, do you need anything?
Me: Yeah, toothpaste, shower gel, some tee shirts, and a pair of white shorts if you see any.
Mom: Ha ha, well I'll get you some stuff and I have a surprise for you
Me: Ooh, really!
Mom: Yeah instead of me sending this to you, guess what I got you.
Me: Uhm, uhm, uh...
Mom: A plane ticket!
Me:
Mom: To Phoenix!
Me:
Mom: Next week!
Me:
Mom: Are you still there?
Me: yeaaaaaaaaaaah...
Mom: It'll be fun. You won't be bored.
Me: Oh, yeah...whoa, how long am I staying?
Mom: A week! This way you can help out in the clinic and work with us during the day--
Me: Whoa-What?!? Regis and Kelly, The View, Martha, Tyra Banks, Days of Our Lives, TRL, Oprah, and Girlfriend re-runs!
Mom: Huh?
Me: A week, mom, seriously?
Mom: Yes, it'll be so much fun. I'll pay you!
Me: hmmm...
Mom: I hate to hear you so bored, you're not doing anything, so you may as well do nothing here.
Me: I won't be doing nothing, you just said I'll be working.
Mom: we can plan something fun while you are here!
Me: Hmph.
Mom: It'll be fun!
Me: a week!
Mom: I'll pay you!
Me: a week?!?
Mom: What else are you going to do?
Me: a week...
Mom: Well, I emailed you the confirmation. You leave Dallas on Friday and then return the next Sunday---
Me: Whoa! That's a week and two days!
Mom: Non-stop, maybe you can bump it up to first class, niiiice, huh?
(why she said that I don't know. Shouldn't she be the one bumping it?)
Me: a weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek and two days!!
Mom: You are welcome. I'm excited. Aren't you? This way I don't have to mail the stuff I got you and we'll have fun.
Me: Yeah.
Okay not that I'm not appreciative, but a freaking week in the hottest place in the nation and I'll have to work! Ugh. You should have heard her, I swear in the next conversation she is going to have a moving crew hired as well. I bet you now.
My only hope is to truly find a job in this next week (pleeeeeeeeeeeeze God, pleeeeeeeeeeeze)
For now, y'all get to hear me complain for the next week.
Mama Needs a Job
When I was first laid off and Regis and Kelly were fresh to me, I could tell me that I wasn't worried, yet.
Since then, a couple of my friends confessed to me that they have been unemployed for six months plus.
It's only been a month and they 'yet' part of that sentence I was boasting before has officially happened.
Maybe it's because I have turned down two job offers.
The money in the bank is running low.
The unemployement check has yet to arrive.
The phone is not ringing as much as it used to, for setting up interviews or heck even the get-your-hopes-up phone screening for that possible interview. What are those about? Are they new? Because I, never.
I'm not that worried (who am I kidding), but how much longer can my mom pass off as my sugar daddy? And how much longer will I be sitting at home while all my friends email me from their jobs---and if I hear one more time, that they would rather switch with me and love to be home all day...because, yeah, right.
That is so not comforting.
Hell to the yes, if I was at work, duh, I'd rather be at home as well. Because? You have that choice.
Once I get employed again, I'll make the happiest worker monkey ever. I'll be in office early, working my monkey tail off, why? because I'll be so happy that I have no idea if Sami is going to marry Austin---oh holy crap, I remember when I was in college how Austin hated Sami and he and Carrie were a couple and it was Sami's life long goal to break those two up and Lucas was her co-conspirator. But now? Austin is with Sami and Carrie and Lucas: WTF?!? And why is John trolling after girls half his age? What happened to Marlena? And how many times has Jack died and reappeared and died again?
Do you see? It has to stop!!
I need a job.
I am worried.
Worried that if this continues for the next few months, I may find myself on the edge of my seat over Days of Our Lives in Phoenix (oh gosh).
Since then, a couple of my friends confessed to me that they have been unemployed for six months plus.
It's only been a month and they 'yet' part of that sentence I was boasting before has officially happened.
Maybe it's because I have turned down two job offers.
The money in the bank is running low.
The unemployement check has yet to arrive.
The phone is not ringing as much as it used to, for setting up interviews or heck even the get-your-hopes-up phone screening for that possible interview. What are those about? Are they new? Because I, never.
I'm not that worried (who am I kidding), but how much longer can my mom pass off as my sugar daddy? And how much longer will I be sitting at home while all my friends email me from their jobs---and if I hear one more time, that they would rather switch with me and love to be home all day...because, yeah, right.
That is so not comforting.
Hell to the yes, if I was at work, duh, I'd rather be at home as well. Because? You have that choice.
Once I get employed again, I'll make the happiest worker monkey ever. I'll be in office early, working my monkey tail off, why? because I'll be so happy that I have no idea if Sami is going to marry Austin---oh holy crap, I remember when I was in college how Austin hated Sami and he and Carrie were a couple and it was Sami's life long goal to break those two up and Lucas was her co-conspirator. But now? Austin is with Sami and Carrie and Lucas: WTF?!? And why is John trolling after girls half his age? What happened to Marlena? And how many times has Jack died and reappeared and died again?
Do you see? It has to stop!!
I need a job.
I am worried.
Worried that if this continues for the next few months, I may find myself on the edge of my seat over Days of Our Lives in Phoenix (oh gosh).
Wednesday, August 23
Secrets
I have secrets of my own that I'll never share.
I know some of my friends' secrets that I've never shared.
But I will share with you this: At first I didn't like these new "I have a secret" ad campaign for Secret deodorant.
I wasn't getting it, even though the two older women where one had to pay her brother to go to prom with her friend who is now married to the brother is funny. Meaning I chuckled once when I first saw it. But the others? Ugh, what is the point?
Then in the middle of my disliking Elisabeth Hasselbeck more and more each time I watch The View daily watch, a new Secret commercial almost brought me to tears.
The mother and young teen daughter.
The daughter starts off saying that she played spin the bottle (glad to know kids are still doing that and its not all come to shit with different colored rubber bracelets) and she kissed some boy. Then the mom responds with how she knew. Darn, those moms!
Of course she knew, they know everything. But it's what she says next, that really gets me.
She goes on to say how she understands how the daughter needs secrets and its okay to have them and keep them, even from her own mother. Of course she says more eloquently than that and more heartfelt than I can describe.
The majority of my life so far, I tried so hard to keep things from my own mother. It is a full time job sometimes. I kept the secrets mostly because of shame?
I didn't want my mother to know exactly what her daughter was doing on a Friday night in Austin.
I didn't want her to know that I changed clothes as soon as she dropped me off while in middle school.
I didn't want her to think that I thought she was so uncool.
I didn't want her to know that I wasn't as smart as I was.
I didn't want her to know some stuff that I found out about my dad while they were still married.
I didn't want her to think any less of me. Period.
I'm her daughter, her only daughter and eldest child. She'd always remind me of the dreams and hopes she had for me. Did I let her down?
She'd share with me how she was so ready not to marry my father and raise me on her own because it was just her and I for awhile there. (don't get me started on how I think it should have stayed that way because God knows I love my brother so much)
My mom tried her best when she'd plan just her and I days when I was too young to appreciate it. Those days were torture because I'd rather sit at home and talk on the phone for hours.
But now?
I'd die for a whole day of shopping and lunch with her.
As I got older and am who I am today. My mom knows a lot more about me than anyone. And vice versa. I like it that way. I want to know my mom for the adult she is and the young woman she used to be and the mother she always will be. No secrets.
just don't tell her about this blog...holey moley!
I know some of my friends' secrets that I've never shared.
But I will share with you this: At first I didn't like these new "I have a secret" ad campaign for Secret deodorant.
I wasn't getting it, even though the two older women where one had to pay her brother to go to prom with her friend who is now married to the brother is funny. Meaning I chuckled once when I first saw it. But the others? Ugh, what is the point?
Then in the middle of my disliking Elisabeth Hasselbeck more and more each time I watch The View daily watch, a new Secret commercial almost brought me to tears.
The mother and young teen daughter.
The daughter starts off saying that she played spin the bottle (glad to know kids are still doing that and its not all come to shit with different colored rubber bracelets) and she kissed some boy. Then the mom responds with how she knew. Darn, those moms!
Of course she knew, they know everything. But it's what she says next, that really gets me.
She goes on to say how she understands how the daughter needs secrets and its okay to have them and keep them, even from her own mother. Of course she says more eloquently than that and more heartfelt than I can describe.
The majority of my life so far, I tried so hard to keep things from my own mother. It is a full time job sometimes. I kept the secrets mostly because of shame?
I didn't want my mother to know exactly what her daughter was doing on a Friday night in Austin.
I didn't want her to know that I changed clothes as soon as she dropped me off while in middle school.
I didn't want her to think that I thought she was so uncool.
I didn't want her to know that I wasn't as smart as I was.
I didn't want her to know some stuff that I found out about my dad while they were still married.
I didn't want her to think any less of me. Period.
I'm her daughter, her only daughter and eldest child. She'd always remind me of the dreams and hopes she had for me. Did I let her down?
She'd share with me how she was so ready not to marry my father and raise me on her own because it was just her and I for awhile there. (don't get me started on how I think it should have stayed that way because God knows I love my brother so much)
My mom tried her best when she'd plan just her and I days when I was too young to appreciate it. Those days were torture because I'd rather sit at home and talk on the phone for hours.
But now?
I'd die for a whole day of shopping and lunch with her.
As I got older and am who I am today. My mom knows a lot more about me than anyone. And vice versa. I like it that way. I want to know my mom for the adult she is and the young woman she used to be and the mother she always will be. No secrets.
just don't tell her about this blog...holey moley!
Tuesday, August 22
I Want, I Need, I Must Have It
Job searching is like window shopping. Interviews can sometimes be like trying on the Christian Loubotains (sp?) shoes just for fun because you don't have the means to buy them.
And a great interview can be like car shopping. Once you leave that lot you just have to have whatever it is you just test drove.
UGH.
Let's just say I didn't want to leave. And it wasn't because the offices were cute, actually, there is no office; just a huge space of industrial gigantic mixers and blenders and the biggest piping bag I've ever seen. And tubs and tins of buttercream and fondant.
OK--there was one office that I peeked into, so maybe there were more. My eyes couldn't move away from the industrial baking kitchen.
I've never been in one before, so it was like Wonka's chocolate factory or something.
Then I met the executive chef.
Who, by the way, looks exactly like she does on television. I think I got a little celeb-excited when she walked through the doors. I know I did.
And then I did that stupid, "oh yeah I know who you are" introduction thingy, where you know you sound like an idiot but keep going because you think its working to announce that you know her resume better than your own
"You were on __________. I watched it. Twice! Loved it"
...like she was Jennifer Lopez or something. Oh gosh I hope I'm better if I ever meet her.
Yeah I am a goof troop.
And her energy was through the roof! We sat and gabbed about my work history and why, the bakery? I gave my answer. It was honest, heartfelt, and hilarious. (She did laugh)
Then her wedding couple appointment came in, darn it! I've only been here for 10 minutes. She told them she'd be with them in a minute, then whispered to me: "Are you still excited?"
"Yes. I am!"
"Great. You're very personable. (I don't think I ever stopped grinning since she walked through the door, like a giddy Food Network Fanatic I can be)" Then she got up, damn! interview over?
"I have a few more people to meet and next will call you for the real formal interview with corporate"
"Thanks. Blah blah blah blah blah blah (I need to learn to shut it and stop grinning like the Cheshire cat) You have a great day. Thanks so much!"
She left me to attend to the couple. I left her wanting to forget Regis and Kelly, The View, and TRL and start working for her immediately.
If for anything, the contacts she spoke of that I'd be interacting with, the meetings I'd be attending, the conferences we'd attend, pastry school appearances, the upscale weddings and events, oh and of course the cakes she'd be creating IF I worked there.
So again, I wait...
And a great interview can be like car shopping. Once you leave that lot you just have to have whatever it is you just test drove.
UGH.
Let's just say I didn't want to leave. And it wasn't because the offices were cute, actually, there is no office; just a huge space of industrial gigantic mixers and blenders and the biggest piping bag I've ever seen. And tubs and tins of buttercream and fondant.
OK--there was one office that I peeked into, so maybe there were more. My eyes couldn't move away from the industrial baking kitchen.
I've never been in one before, so it was like Wonka's chocolate factory or something.
Then I met the executive chef.
Who, by the way, looks exactly like she does on television. I think I got a little celeb-excited when she walked through the doors. I know I did.
And then I did that stupid, "oh yeah I know who you are" introduction thingy, where you know you sound like an idiot but keep going because you think its working to announce that you know her resume better than your own
"You were on __________. I watched it. Twice! Loved it"
...like she was Jennifer Lopez or something. Oh gosh I hope I'm better if I ever meet her.
Yeah I am a goof troop.
And her energy was through the roof! We sat and gabbed about my work history and why, the bakery? I gave my answer. It was honest, heartfelt, and hilarious. (She did laugh)
Then her wedding couple appointment came in, darn it! I've only been here for 10 minutes. She told them she'd be with them in a minute, then whispered to me: "Are you still excited?"
"Yes. I am!"
"Great. You're very personable. (I don't think I ever stopped grinning since she walked through the door, like a giddy Food Network Fanatic I can be)" Then she got up, damn! interview over?
"I have a few more people to meet and next will call you for the real formal interview with corporate"
"Thanks. Blah blah blah blah blah blah (I need to learn to shut it and stop grinning like the Cheshire cat) You have a great day. Thanks so much!"
She left me to attend to the couple. I left her wanting to forget Regis and Kelly, The View, and TRL and start working for her immediately.
If for anything, the contacts she spoke of that I'd be interacting with, the meetings I'd be attending, the conferences we'd attend, pastry school appearances, the upscale weddings and events, oh and of course the cakes she'd be creating IF I worked there.
So again, I wait...
Monday, August 21
Pizza and Cupcakes
Friday night I had an impromtu girls night in. I made strawberry cupcakes with vanilla buttercream frosting.
I need to find a basic recipe that yields only a dozen cupcakes or learn how to divide the recipe to yield less than thirty cupcakes. I've been eating cupcakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for three days straight!
No complaints from me but I'm sure my middle is expanding slowly. At the teeny party we each chose our favorite Sex and the City to watch while we stuffed our faces with pizza and cupcakes.
One of the girls asked if I would make cupcakes for her to sell so she could raise money for her Komen 3-Day Walk. Sure, it'll keep me busy on Monday afternoon. Nah, I was happy to, seriously.
I thought it out and thought how cute would it be to make some lemon cupcakes to sell a la lemonade style?
After scouring the internet, I found a pink lemonade cupcake recipe (below, warning it only yields 10, so double it) and the best tasting buttercream frosting to date. Yeah I need to hit the gym, the bowl is licked clean.
It was a very busy afternoon and the return of cupcake baking by moi.
PINK LEMONADE CUPCAKES
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 egg whites
1/3 cup pink lemonade concentrate
1/4 cup milk
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Line your cupcake tin. In a bowl combine the first 4 ingredients. In a mixer combine and mix the sugar, vegetable oil, egg whites, and lemonade concentrate. Alternately add the flour and milk to the mixture. Add a teeny bit of red coloring to make pink. Divide into cupcake tin and bake for 20-25 minutes.
Let cool completely.
BEST BUTTERCREAM FROSTING
3 cups of cenfectioners sugar
1 cup butter
pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla
Mix all the ingredients. Frost or pipe onto cooled cupcakes.
For this I added grated lemon zest on top of each cake.
Who says I'm not working?
Hee.
I need to find a basic recipe that yields only a dozen cupcakes or learn how to divide the recipe to yield less than thirty cupcakes. I've been eating cupcakes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for three days straight!
No complaints from me but I'm sure my middle is expanding slowly. At the teeny party we each chose our favorite Sex and the City to watch while we stuffed our faces with pizza and cupcakes.
One of the girls asked if I would make cupcakes for her to sell so she could raise money for her Komen 3-Day Walk. Sure, it'll keep me busy on Monday afternoon. Nah, I was happy to, seriously.
I thought it out and thought how cute would it be to make some lemon cupcakes to sell a la lemonade style?
After scouring the internet, I found a pink lemonade cupcake recipe (below, warning it only yields 10, so double it) and the best tasting buttercream frosting to date. Yeah I need to hit the gym, the bowl is licked clean.
It was a very busy afternoon and the return of cupcake baking by moi.
PINK LEMONADE CUPCAKES
1 cup flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
pinch of salt
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup vegetable oil
2 egg whites
1/3 cup pink lemonade concentrate
1/4 cup milk
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Line your cupcake tin. In a bowl combine the first 4 ingredients. In a mixer combine and mix the sugar, vegetable oil, egg whites, and lemonade concentrate. Alternately add the flour and milk to the mixture. Add a teeny bit of red coloring to make pink. Divide into cupcake tin and bake for 20-25 minutes.
Let cool completely.
BEST BUTTERCREAM FROSTING
3 cups of cenfectioners sugar
1 cup butter
pinch of salt
1 tsp vanilla
Mix all the ingredients. Frost or pipe onto cooled cupcakes.
For this I added grated lemon zest on top of each cake.
Who says I'm not working?
Hee.
Sunday, August 20
Wig Dilemma
Bruiser came back into town last night. And like a good boy he has been texting me all week. Granted they were pictures of the beach, the club, and all the fun he was having in Miami. Boo. I wasn't bitter because with my hair catastrophe, I was so happy he was not here to witness it.
But I knew Saturday would inevitably arrive...and so it did.
He sent me a text while heading to the airport. "Be back in Dallas in 5 hours. Have plans tonight?"
I ignored it. I know.
Then he called. I ignored that, too. I know. His voicemail was a bit choppy, but he was cursing the new TSA guidelines, some slow people in front of him, American Airlines, and asking me if I was free later.
5 hours later and I kid you not I had the biggest headache in the world, so big that I put my phone on silent because the ring was enough to make my head explode. So, yeah 5 hours later, he called again. Again, I ignored it. Again, I know.
His voicemail went something like, "I'm back in town. Did you get my text? Holler at me later". He followed up with a text message "Hey, Sweetie. What's up?"
Gotta love 24 year olds. (Have I mentioned that one, yet? uhm hmm...younger than my brother!)
Weighing the pros/cons of the situation, I tackled it, like I normally do---basically avoiding it. I waited another two hours and replied to his original-still-in-Miami text.
"Really? Yahoo!!" I was trying to read excited.
I felt like such a jerk because he texted me back instantly, "Are you out?"
I lied and texted back "yes".
Instantly, he asked, "where? I'm at Bar"
That's when I didn't reply back at all and went to bed. I woke up this morning with ten missed calls*.
Now before you think I am crazy. Let me tell you if I had the same amount of head on my hair today as when he last saw me, yes, I would have met the Bruiser at his house fully naked and ready for bruise numero dos. But, my vanity has gotten in the way.
What do I do? How do I explain this to him?
1. I can tell the truth. Hold my breath for his response.
2. I can lie and just say that I wanted long hair so I went and got some. That happens all the time. BUT me being the first Black girl he has ever been with--will I have to explain the whole weave thing to him? Or can I just show him Jessica Simpson's Public Affair video and be like "see, that they're holding---WEAVE"
3. I can avoid him for the rest of my life, because truth of truths he is freaking 24!!
*Uhm, again if this role were reversed and he had 10 missed calls from me, wouldn't I be the psycho-chick?
But I knew Saturday would inevitably arrive...and so it did.
He sent me a text while heading to the airport. "Be back in Dallas in 5 hours. Have plans tonight?"
I ignored it. I know.
Then he called. I ignored that, too. I know. His voicemail was a bit choppy, but he was cursing the new TSA guidelines, some slow people in front of him, American Airlines, and asking me if I was free later.
5 hours later and I kid you not I had the biggest headache in the world, so big that I put my phone on silent because the ring was enough to make my head explode. So, yeah 5 hours later, he called again. Again, I ignored it. Again, I know.
His voicemail went something like, "I'm back in town. Did you get my text? Holler at me later". He followed up with a text message "Hey, Sweetie. What's up?"
Gotta love 24 year olds. (Have I mentioned that one, yet? uhm hmm...younger than my brother!)
Weighing the pros/cons of the situation, I tackled it, like I normally do---basically avoiding it. I waited another two hours and replied to his original-still-in-Miami text.
"Really? Yahoo!!" I was trying to read excited.
I felt like such a jerk because he texted me back instantly, "Are you out?"
I lied and texted back "yes".
Instantly, he asked, "where? I'm at Bar"
That's when I didn't reply back at all and went to bed. I woke up this morning with ten missed calls*.
Now before you think I am crazy. Let me tell you if I had the same amount of head on my hair today as when he last saw me, yes, I would have met the Bruiser at his house fully naked and ready for bruise numero dos. But, my vanity has gotten in the way.
What do I do? How do I explain this to him?
1. I can tell the truth. Hold my breath for his response.
2. I can lie and just say that I wanted long hair so I went and got some. That happens all the time. BUT me being the first Black girl he has ever been with--will I have to explain the whole weave thing to him? Or can I just show him Jessica Simpson's Public Affair video and be like "see, that they're holding---WEAVE"
3. I can avoid him for the rest of my life, because truth of truths he is freaking 24!!
*Uhm, again if this role were reversed and he had 10 missed calls from me, wouldn't I be the psycho-chick?
Thursday, August 17
Monkey Read, Monkey Blog
Clink did it, then Bev, what can I say I cheat like that.
Last thing you burned while cooking?
hmm…I never burn food I cook, I burn hair.
Describe yourself in 3 words:
outgoing, funny, people pleaser
How long does it take you to get ready for your day?
Thirty minutes.
Are you a health freak?
No. I can McDonald‘s employees and their kids through college.
How many people have you thought were the one?
2
What turns you off about the opposite sex?
body odor.
What kind of car do you drive?
Ford Explorer Sport
Favorite thing to toast to?
people still toast?
celebrity would you have coffee with?
Leah Remini because its just coffee and I think that small amount of time should be spent laughing my ass off.
What celebrity would you not have sex with?
Colin Farrell, he looks dirty and stinky.
What is the main ring tone on your cell?
“Jenny From the Block“ and it‘s my only ring tone.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Picking my jaw off the floor because I couldn’t believe that Allison was Auf’d on Project Runway…seriously, can we discuss this?!?!
Last TV show you watched?
It‘s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Who is your best friend?
No BFF for me, just lots of close pals
Who in your family do you get along with?
My dad because I have never speak to him. Seriously, my mom and brother.
Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Blockbuster, they want their movies back. Now, I ask them where is this no late fee policy?
When/Where was the last place you traveled?
Phoenix (Chandler), AZ
How many times have you been in love?
Twice.
How old will you be in 10 years?
38
What did the last text message you received on your cell say?
“WHAT?!?! Having drinks, call you later"
What is a saying you say a lot?
Seriously
WHAT
Boo
No joke
(are those sayings?)
Sinful snacking weakness?
I don‘t snack. I‘m weird.
Ever run out of gas?
Close, but not quite. But I have been the passenger of the boyfriend who ran out of gas. You so know I just kept on sitting in the passenger seat while he pushed the car to the gas station. Because I told him so. Men.
Ever been to Europe?
Yes. Lived over there for 3 years.
Worse date ever?
Blind date with a Cop. 1st he offers to take me to Macaroni Grill (don‘t get me started). 2nd he proceeded to drive to Macaroni Grill after my twenty minute speech over my hate of the place. 3rd we sat in thirty minute traffic going to Macaroni Grill. Finally after we go somewhere else, an hour into the date from Hell, he ordered my food for me. Not asking me what I wanted, he pulled the “My lady will have the lasagna” (I hate lasagna and yes he must’ve REALLY wanted Italian food that day). Think that's enough that we won’t even get into the “my lady” comment.
What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for a day?
I seriously don't know, my initial response was 'have sex' but I guess you're still you, so that'd be gross.
Total jail time?
3 hours.
In your cd player right now?
Chris Issak‘s Best of CD.
Something you believe?
karma will get you.
What is something you fear?
dying while suffering pain.
Best time to catch you in a good mood?
All day
Most prized possession?
The KitchenAid.
Would you ever sell them?
Yeah, for the price of the baby pink one.
What is one of your pet peeves?
People who do not reply back to communication that ends with a “?” (emails, text messages, Ims, voicemail)
Unhealthy addictions?
rolling my eyes and making quirky faces, my mom says one day it‘ll stay that way, if I don‘t learn to quit.
Unhealthy fascinations?
people staring
Favorite sexual position.
I‘m so lazy. Missionary. But if I have to work at it, that cowgirl move is a good one.
What physical part would you change about yourself?
my hair but that’s just this week.
Soft sensual sex or porn star sex?
either but considering the laziness probably soft and sensual.
Would you go on a date with someone you met online?
Hmm…don‘t know.
Work attire?
LMAO.
What is your best physical feature?
My boobs. It's true, people say my smile but they are usually looking at my chest when they say that.
Do you think anyone has actually read this far?
They better, I wrote this far!
Last thing you burned while cooking?
hmm…I never burn food I cook, I burn hair.
Describe yourself in 3 words:
outgoing, funny, people pleaser
How long does it take you to get ready for your day?
Thirty minutes.
Are you a health freak?
No. I can McDonald‘s employees and their kids through college.
How many people have you thought were the one?
2
What turns you off about the opposite sex?
body odor.
What kind of car do you drive?
Ford Explorer Sport
Favorite thing to toast to?
people still toast?
celebrity would you have coffee with?
Leah Remini because its just coffee and I think that small amount of time should be spent laughing my ass off.
What celebrity would you not have sex with?
Colin Farrell, he looks dirty and stinky.
What is the main ring tone on your cell?
“Jenny From the Block“ and it‘s my only ring tone.
What were you doing at midnight last night?
Picking my jaw off the floor because I couldn’t believe that Allison was Auf’d on Project Runway…seriously, can we discuss this?!?!
Last TV show you watched?
It‘s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Who is your best friend?
No BFF for me, just lots of close pals
Who in your family do you get along with?
My dad because I have never speak to him. Seriously, my mom and brother.
Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
Blockbuster, they want their movies back. Now, I ask them where is this no late fee policy?
When/Where was the last place you traveled?
Phoenix (Chandler), AZ
How many times have you been in love?
Twice.
How old will you be in 10 years?
38
What did the last text message you received on your cell say?
“WHAT?!?! Having drinks, call you later"
What is a saying you say a lot?
Seriously
WHAT
Boo
No joke
(are those sayings?)
Sinful snacking weakness?
I don‘t snack. I‘m weird.
Ever run out of gas?
Close, but not quite. But I have been the passenger of the boyfriend who ran out of gas. You so know I just kept on sitting in the passenger seat while he pushed the car to the gas station. Because I told him so. Men.
Ever been to Europe?
Yes. Lived over there for 3 years.
Worse date ever?
Blind date with a Cop. 1st he offers to take me to Macaroni Grill (don‘t get me started). 2nd he proceeded to drive to Macaroni Grill after my twenty minute speech over my hate of the place. 3rd we sat in thirty minute traffic going to Macaroni Grill. Finally after we go somewhere else, an hour into the date from Hell, he ordered my food for me. Not asking me what I wanted, he pulled the “My lady will have the lasagna” (I hate lasagna and yes he must’ve REALLY wanted Italian food that day). Think that's enough that we won’t even get into the “my lady” comment.
What would you do if you could be the opposite sex for a day?
I seriously don't know, my initial response was 'have sex' but I guess you're still you, so that'd be gross.
Total jail time?
3 hours.
In your cd player right now?
Chris Issak‘s Best of CD.
Something you believe?
karma will get you.
What is something you fear?
dying while suffering pain.
Best time to catch you in a good mood?
All day
Most prized possession?
The KitchenAid.
Would you ever sell them?
Yeah, for the price of the baby pink one.
What is one of your pet peeves?
People who do not reply back to communication that ends with a “?” (emails, text messages, Ims, voicemail)
Unhealthy addictions?
rolling my eyes and making quirky faces, my mom says one day it‘ll stay that way, if I don‘t learn to quit.
Unhealthy fascinations?
people staring
Favorite sexual position.
I‘m so lazy. Missionary. But if I have to work at it, that cowgirl move is a good one.
What physical part would you change about yourself?
my hair but that’s just this week.
Soft sensual sex or porn star sex?
either but considering the laziness probably soft and sensual.
Would you go on a date with someone you met online?
Hmm…don‘t know.
Work attire?
LMAO.
What is your best physical feature?
My boobs. It's true, people say my smile but they are usually looking at my chest when they say that.
Do you think anyone has actually read this far?
They better, I wrote this far!
Gettin' Wiggy With It
Wig shopping was a lot more fun than I expected.
With wig names like "Cher", "Beyonce", "Twiggy", and "Jessica Simpson"--how could you not have fun with that?
I was wishing I did this ages ago before I lost my hair.
The first wig shop was intimidating to walk into.
One, I was so embarrassed to show off my bald head. I don't mean to sound shallow, but seriously, hair is like your personality.
This was not a planned event to be bald. I think I am allowed to be a wee bit vain. The clerks had to convince that they have seen it all: from cancer patients to naturally bald women; so my situation was nothing to be ashamed about. Yeah--except this isn't some disease or genes. This is a chemical hair home treatment gone awry! (or karma)
Two, this place is very upscale. Wig pricing starts at $170.
What the?
Yeah.
Once that first burnt cinnamon colored extra long length wig hit my head, I was sashaying allover the store. Hello, Diva!
The one I fell in love with was $273. The clerk was willing to give me 30%. Still not good enough. I only need a wig for a month until I have growth and then I'm thinking of getting a cute pixie cut.
I thought I don't do fake hair well...but if its good enough for Jessica Simpson, well...
We went to the second wig shop--this one was in a less classier hood: the gay ghetto.
I tried it all on: Cher, Whitney, Beyonce, Jackie O, an afro, the Page, all of it.
The Korean clerk was loving my attitude because I naturally had questions.
"Will it blow off in the wind?" (We live in Dallas)
"How do you wash it?" (Shampoo and water didn't make sense to me)
"Can you comb it?" (My brain stops working sometimes)
"Can you have sex in it?" (Bruiser comes back into town on Saturday and I don't know about y'all but spotty baldness may be a turn off). Yes I was thinking of that, come on, wouldn't you?
With my questions answered, I settled with Jessica Simpson. Its not blonde. But its so freaking long, I love it.
Because if you are going to get a wig you may as well have fun with it.
Tuesday, August 15
Just Breathe
Interview after interview. The same questions are being asked.
Job offers that I am not interested in.
Then the worry that I turned down my last and only chance to ever see a paycheck again. Worried that I am being too picky.
The bruise down below. The text messaging craziness!
My mother's morning optimistic speech which is the same thing, at the same time everyday. Everyday. She doesn't even try to put a new spin on it.
Using the ex-boyfriends computer because my own DSL is taking too long to get its butt in gear. Money in the bank slowly dwindling. Which brings me back to worrying that I passed up the only job offer I'll ever get. Because? I may be acting too picky.
Oh and I lost my hair. Literally.
Don't Ask.
Job offers that I am not interested in.
Then the worry that I turned down my last and only chance to ever see a paycheck again. Worried that I am being too picky.
The bruise down below. The text messaging craziness!
My mother's morning optimistic speech which is the same thing, at the same time everyday. Everyday. She doesn't even try to put a new spin on it.
Using the ex-boyfriends computer because my own DSL is taking too long to get its butt in gear. Money in the bank slowly dwindling. Which brings me back to worrying that I passed up the only job offer I'll ever get. Because? I may be acting too picky.
Oh and I lost my hair. Literally.
Don't Ask.
Sunday, August 13
I Hurt
I thought I'd title this 'Crusin for a Bruisin', but there was no cruising involved. I have a bruise in an unspeakable place. It is so embarrassing, for me not the bruise giver. It is so bad I had to call my mom and explain the severity of the situation. She's a doctor and I seriously thought the act that got me here deformed my vajay-jay.
In other news: this past week I got a real good look at what life was like for cavemen. I had no internet, no cell, and a full day with no cable--and on that day I almost lost my mind.
I also ran into my old Boss from the Firm--the Boss I don't like and I would dare speculate that the moment I saw her is the exact moment that my phone went bizerk.
Uhm hmm
The job hunt is going strong but no offers from interviews, yet...but that may be a good thing because a) I haven't really seen anything that I really, really want and b) I'm not ready to let go of my TRL life, just yet.
In other news: this past week I got a real good look at what life was like for cavemen. I had no internet, no cell, and a full day with no cable--and on that day I almost lost my mind.
I also ran into my old Boss from the Firm--the Boss I don't like and I would dare speculate that the moment I saw her is the exact moment that my phone went bizerk.
Uhm hmm
The job hunt is going strong but no offers from interviews, yet...but that may be a good thing because a) I haven't really seen anything that I really, really want and b) I'm not ready to let go of my TRL life, just yet.
Sunday, August 6
Dear Retail Clothing Stores:
I am sorry to inform you that I cannot participate in this year's second Holiday known as Tax Free Weekend. There are two reasons for my absence. The number one reason and most obvious: I do not have a job.
The second and most important reason: It is too freaking hot outside to get excited over the Fall collections you boast on mannequins and window displays. Seriously. Long cardigan sweaters? Cordoroys? Wool pants? Turtlenecks? Argyle?
I can't justify buying your pretty fall items when it is a 100 freaking degrees outside. Have you heard the news lately? Even Paris is recording high heat indexes. Tourism is down. Or have you stepped outside lately? I swear I saw a bird spontaneously combust.
Nobody wants to be outside and you still, still want to market cooler weather clothing? Are you making a profit lately? This is not like years past where only Texas was in triple digit degree weather in August--this is a national phenomenon. Al Gore was right global warming is coming fast upon us.
I think you should do your part and put back out the tees, tanks, and shorts. Especially white shorts, because I'd shell out the dough for a pair.
Again, I apologize for not taking part this weekend.
Sorely,
Shopper
I am sorry to inform you that I cannot participate in this year's second Holiday known as Tax Free Weekend. There are two reasons for my absence. The number one reason and most obvious: I do not have a job.
The second and most important reason: It is too freaking hot outside to get excited over the Fall collections you boast on mannequins and window displays. Seriously. Long cardigan sweaters? Cordoroys? Wool pants? Turtlenecks? Argyle?
I can't justify buying your pretty fall items when it is a 100 freaking degrees outside. Have you heard the news lately? Even Paris is recording high heat indexes. Tourism is down. Or have you stepped outside lately? I swear I saw a bird spontaneously combust.
Nobody wants to be outside and you still, still want to market cooler weather clothing? Are you making a profit lately? This is not like years past where only Texas was in triple digit degree weather in August--this is a national phenomenon. Al Gore was right global warming is coming fast upon us.
I think you should do your part and put back out the tees, tanks, and shorts. Especially white shorts, because I'd shell out the dough for a pair.
Again, I apologize for not taking part this weekend.
Sorely,
Shopper
Friday, August 4
Hmm...?!?
I'm not one to make a quick judgement, so...
Mr. Trombone may have shown his true colors too soon. And I am thisclose to marking him as homophobe.
He lives in a predominately gay neighborhood. A gayborhood, if you will.
His condo complex, I'm pretty sure, is 90% gay.
With that information:
Last week I took note of one of his neighbor's rainbow pride flag and joked: Do you think there is a straight pride flag out there?
His answer: "Yes, there is. It's red, white, blue, and has 50 stars on it.
He was not joking.
Last night he was shocked to learn that I have gay friends (and a lesbian). He told me he knew no gay people.
Again, condo-90% and I'm being lenient. Also am I naive to think that at our age (25 - 30) you must know of at least one gay person. Am I wrong?
If I wasn't friends with any, I (did) work with at least two that I knew of.
This afternoon I was driving through his neighborhood, while on the phone with him. I passed a really good hamburger joint and asked the question: "Have you ever been to Hunky's?"
His answer: "No, I'd never go there because of the those people there. I think I would leave there with a lot more than I planned on ordering."
Those people?
No judgement.
But again, the condo, seriously, maybe I can knock it down to 50% gay?!?
Still.
or are those comments that very hetero males make? I don't know, I been around gays too long.
He also was in UT? Austin? Marching Band!?
Mr. Trombone may have shown his true colors too soon. And I am thisclose to marking him as homophobe.
He lives in a predominately gay neighborhood. A gayborhood, if you will.
His condo complex, I'm pretty sure, is 90% gay.
With that information:
Last week I took note of one of his neighbor's rainbow pride flag and joked: Do you think there is a straight pride flag out there?
His answer: "Yes, there is. It's red, white, blue, and has 50 stars on it.
He was not joking.
Last night he was shocked to learn that I have gay friends (and a lesbian). He told me he knew no gay people.
Again, condo-90% and I'm being lenient. Also am I naive to think that at our age (25 - 30) you must know of at least one gay person. Am I wrong?
If I wasn't friends with any, I (did) work with at least two that I knew of.
This afternoon I was driving through his neighborhood, while on the phone with him. I passed a really good hamburger joint and asked the question: "Have you ever been to Hunky's?"
His answer: "No, I'd never go there because of the those people there. I think I would leave there with a lot more than I planned on ordering."
Those people?
No judgement.
But again, the condo, seriously, maybe I can knock it down to 50% gay?!?
Still.
or are those comments that very hetero males make? I don't know, I been around gays too long.
He also was in UT? Austin? Marching Band!?
Wednesday, August 2
Maybe It's The Heat
Up at 7. Homemade breakfast. The daily morning news programs. Complain about the pool noise. CNN. Dinner by 6pm.
If I wasn’t terminated I’d say I was retired.
Geez it’s getting really good around here, eh?
Today’s excitement came when Barbara Walters told Elisabeth Hasselbeck to calm it down.
I’m not joking.
Elisabeth got really passionate about the FDA possibly approving the Morning After Drug as an OTC for persons above the age of 18.
Her stance on it was that the moment sperm hit’s the egg there is life. I’m not going to argue or put my belief on here, but guest star host Lisa Loeb knocked that thinking down right away and a “You go girl” may have slipped from my mouth.
From then on out it was Joy, Babs, and Lisa against Elisabeth and her stance on the issue. Elisabeth was this close to knocking Joy out of her seat. Pretty exciting stuff. They had to cut to commercial once Barbara got all Bossy on it and was putting Elisabeth in her place.
Once back from the commercial a teary Elisabeth was hugging and apologizing and being grateful for her job to Babs.
Uhm hmm.
Why was she apologizing? Was she scared that she’d be tossed out like Star?
Seriously, I thought that’s what The View was all about. I know I’ve been unemployed for a week and just got back into the show, but isn’t that its theme? Different opinions?
Even though I disagreed with Elisabeth, it is rare that you can see that much passion on an issue. She had some good points. Didn’t sway me an inch, but still…why was she shut down?
It’s called hot topics for a reason and when I remember it, Barbara is the one that brought up the subject and asked the table where they stood. Didn’t she know ex-Survivor was super conservative? Besides that, isn't the major point being able to sit up there and let your view be told? Isn't that part of it? But Babs is the Boss.
But what got me thinking more is how great it was to see women up there who on a daily basis look like they get along and agree, go into total chaos over a very strong women’s topic.
If I wasn’t terminated I’d say I was retired.
Geez it’s getting really good around here, eh?
Today’s excitement came when Barbara Walters told Elisabeth Hasselbeck to calm it down.
I’m not joking.
Elisabeth got really passionate about the FDA possibly approving the Morning After Drug as an OTC for persons above the age of 18.
Her stance on it was that the moment sperm hit’s the egg there is life. I’m not going to argue or put my belief on here, but guest star host Lisa Loeb knocked that thinking down right away and a “You go girl” may have slipped from my mouth.
From then on out it was Joy, Babs, and Lisa against Elisabeth and her stance on the issue. Elisabeth was this close to knocking Joy out of her seat. Pretty exciting stuff. They had to cut to commercial once Barbara got all Bossy on it and was putting Elisabeth in her place.
Once back from the commercial a teary Elisabeth was hugging and apologizing and being grateful for her job to Babs.
Uhm hmm.
Why was she apologizing? Was she scared that she’d be tossed out like Star?
Seriously, I thought that’s what The View was all about. I know I’ve been unemployed for a week and just got back into the show, but isn’t that its theme? Different opinions?
Even though I disagreed with Elisabeth, it is rare that you can see that much passion on an issue. She had some good points. Didn’t sway me an inch, but still…why was she shut down?
It’s called hot topics for a reason and when I remember it, Barbara is the one that brought up the subject and asked the table where they stood. Didn’t she know ex-Survivor was super conservative? Besides that, isn't the major point being able to sit up there and let your view be told? Isn't that part of it? But Babs is the Boss.
But what got me thinking more is how great it was to see women up there who on a daily basis look like they get along and agree, go into total chaos over a very strong women’s topic.
Tuesday, August 1
Call Me Petty
Do looks really matter? Hmm...
Mr. Trombone is not all that. I feel bad for thinking it and hopefully someone will comment and make me feel better about my petty thoughts, but all I can think about is how much hotter J.J. is...EEK.
Then there are the thoughts of all the things Trombone wants to do with me and I keep wishing he was J.J. It may just be because nothing came to fruition with J.J. and I.
It gets worse. I think I am way more attractive than Trombone.
We may have to chalk this up to I may just want what I cannot have: J.J.
It's going to turn into the inevitable: I am going to be yearning after the one with the girlfriend while Mr. (Nice) Trombone will be going after me.
Typical girl attitude, here.
Even though I know what it is, it won't excuse it, but can I really keep seeing some guy that I don't think is hot?
Don't get me wrong, funny, witty, smart, and great to hang out with, but I have to face it, he looks like Doug.
Do you remember the Nickolodeon cartoon, Doug?
He was orange and his sister may have been purple and he had a dog?!? and the theme song went something like: "Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug---DOUG!"
Seriously...look it up.
And he does these stupid things where he says how beautiful I am, of course, I am thinking, "Duh!" Then I saw a picture of an ex-girlfireind of his and I hate to say it, but motor scooter, he must be thanking God each night that gets to kiss me...oh, I'm going to Hell for these thoughts, but crap if I can't say them here, who else am I going to tell?
And I do feel bad for thinking this. Part of me thinks that I'm giving him chances because he is my friend's cousin, and I do think he's cute, again in that Doug way.
Mr. Trombone is not all that. I feel bad for thinking it and hopefully someone will comment and make me feel better about my petty thoughts, but all I can think about is how much hotter J.J. is...EEK.
Then there are the thoughts of all the things Trombone wants to do with me and I keep wishing he was J.J. It may just be because nothing came to fruition with J.J. and I.
It gets worse. I think I am way more attractive than Trombone.
We may have to chalk this up to I may just want what I cannot have: J.J.
It's going to turn into the inevitable: I am going to be yearning after the one with the girlfriend while Mr. (Nice) Trombone will be going after me.
Typical girl attitude, here.
Even though I know what it is, it won't excuse it, but can I really keep seeing some guy that I don't think is hot?
Don't get me wrong, funny, witty, smart, and great to hang out with, but I have to face it, he looks like Doug.
Do you remember the Nickolodeon cartoon, Doug?
He was orange and his sister may have been purple and he had a dog?!? and the theme song went something like: "Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug, Doug---DOUG!"
Seriously...look it up.
And he does these stupid things where he says how beautiful I am, of course, I am thinking, "Duh!" Then I saw a picture of an ex-girlfireind of his and I hate to say it, but motor scooter, he must be thanking God each night that gets to kiss me...oh, I'm going to Hell for these thoughts, but crap if I can't say them here, who else am I going to tell?
And I do feel bad for thinking this. Part of me thinks that I'm giving him chances because he is my friend's cousin, and I do think he's cute, again in that Doug way.
Happy Birthday MTV
That is the news o' the day.
From Regis and Kelly to The View, everyone is recognizing MTV's 25th birthday. Frankly if I hear "Video Killed the Radio Star" one more time today...grr...
Actually I lie, if I see that dancing panty liner one more time, I will throw up. Have you seen this crap? Maybe not, because y'all have jobs. Uhm hmm.
There is an ad featuring a woman in a hot pink dress and she is free to dance about like crazy because she is wearing a stay put panty liner. Just to show you how stay put it really is--the pantyliner dances on it's own. Can you believe it? A dancing panty liner--I want, I need, I must have!
In other news, I've had 2 interviews and thank you so much for all the well wishes.
The first interview was pretty greasy, so we won't go there. Let's just say I despise the direct mail marketing firm disguising itself as a PR firm. You assemble direct mail pieces and frankly I don't understand how they are still in business. Don't we all throw those away? Talk about biggest waste of paper.
The second, was a second interview with a great company. I met with the President and he was cool. It was a first for me to be asked more personal questions than professional/work experience type questions. I feel he was trying to get a feel for my personality and if I would fit in their cool decorated offices and the 3 wine fridges. Yep. He was honest with me and told me that there were three contenders for the job and he liked us all very much, therefore my competition is tough. I should or won't hear from them by the end of the week.
I wrapped up this morning at the grocery store. Crap. Nothing like limited funds to direct what you buy at the store. Not that I was buying all high price items before, but I bought the big box of Froot Loops rationalizing that I could have for dinner and breakfast. For the first time in over 3 years, I bought Ramen Noodles. We had to settle for the generic Wal-Mart ricotta cheese. Boo.
And let me comment, Justin, if you are bringing Sexy Back---can you please, please, please take off the neck bandana? Because there is nothing more sexier than a neck bandana. Seriously.
From Regis and Kelly to The View, everyone is recognizing MTV's 25th birthday. Frankly if I hear "Video Killed the Radio Star" one more time today...grr...
Actually I lie, if I see that dancing panty liner one more time, I will throw up. Have you seen this crap? Maybe not, because y'all have jobs. Uhm hmm.
There is an ad featuring a woman in a hot pink dress and she is free to dance about like crazy because she is wearing a stay put panty liner. Just to show you how stay put it really is--the pantyliner dances on it's own. Can you believe it? A dancing panty liner--I want, I need, I must have!
In other news, I've had 2 interviews and thank you so much for all the well wishes.
The first interview was pretty greasy, so we won't go there. Let's just say I despise the direct mail marketing firm disguising itself as a PR firm. You assemble direct mail pieces and frankly I don't understand how they are still in business. Don't we all throw those away? Talk about biggest waste of paper.
The second, was a second interview with a great company. I met with the President and he was cool. It was a first for me to be asked more personal questions than professional/work experience type questions. I feel he was trying to get a feel for my personality and if I would fit in their cool decorated offices and the 3 wine fridges. Yep. He was honest with me and told me that there were three contenders for the job and he liked us all very much, therefore my competition is tough. I should or won't hear from them by the end of the week.
I wrapped up this morning at the grocery store. Crap. Nothing like limited funds to direct what you buy at the store. Not that I was buying all high price items before, but I bought the big box of Froot Loops rationalizing that I could have for dinner and breakfast. For the first time in over 3 years, I bought Ramen Noodles. We had to settle for the generic Wal-Mart ricotta cheese. Boo.
And let me comment, Justin, if you are bringing Sexy Back---can you please, please, please take off the neck bandana? Because there is nothing more sexier than a neck bandana. Seriously.
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