Just a Wee Bit Drunk at Work

Tipsy Thursday is what is should be called...but today's gift: silver keychains.
With your name monogrammed on it.
I don't want this week to end!

The Streets Are Paved with Cheese

The benefits are what you would normally expect: healthcare, dental, vision, 20 vacation days, holidays, and if needed pet insurance.

The perks were an added surprise: town cars, chef, cake almost every day, food catered in practically every other day, paid parking, a shoe shine guy in every week, a masseuse in every week, and an open bar to sodas, juices, and coffee.

What shocked me the most: Thirsty Thursdays. Every 3rd Thursday in each month; there is an in office happy hour. I've never worked where alcohol was involved. Never. And yes, the shoe shine guy did shock me; but that was until I found out about the happy hours.

This week is staff appreciation. Let's say the only way I'm leaving this place any time soon is if I get canned. I never knew Staff Appreciation week existed, until now. I am so spoiled & still at work.
Monday: We had catered in breakfast. Y'all know I love my breakfast food. It was so freaking good.

Tuesday: We had an ice cream cart come in with gelato. I'm talking one of those old fashioned ice cream carts that look like it came straight out of "Leave it to Beaver".

Wednesday: Today, a $30 gift card to Target was waiting on my desk. Let's just say that won't last to the weekend. We also went out to eat lunch here at my new favorite spot. So favorite, I'm headed there tomorrow for lunch with a friend. I've been too many times to count in the past week. I haven't experienced dinner there, yet, but wait and see, betcha I'm in before the month is out.

Tomorrow: Who knows?!? On the calendar it says gifts to be handed out, hmm...

Friday: Catered lunch and a shopping speaker. OK--what the heck does a shopping speaker speak about? How to hit the sales? Avoiding mall crowds? Making shopping maps?!? I can speak about that. We'll see, I'm very intrigued to hear her gab & of course I'll report back.
If you're a staffer...happy Staff Appreciation Week!

Scary Happens

When I settle in for some TV viewing, I don't expect that much. It's all reality television or the same plot sitcom, different channel, different day.
When it comes to the ads, I always think they are on some sort of brainwashing loop. How many times have I seen that stupid girl dancing to 'My Humps' in a dressing room for Verizon. Gee.
Until recently...

Have you seen the new VW commercials? Not the Pimp My Ride German guy--what is up with that, anyway? Seems that VW has chucked its 'Drivers Wanted' campaign for edgier in your face car crashes in 'Safe Happens'. And they are highly disturbing.

One is where there are 2 men discussing how many times a girl can say 'like' in a sentence. The camera is in the car with them and it’s like a fly on the wall view of an actual conversation, then BOOM, the passenger side is crashed by another coming vehicle. I've seen the Dummy car crash commercials of the early 90's and those were hard to take, but these VW ones, holy crap. You see the actual real live human being being hit and airbag in his face, from the point of view of actually being in the car.

Then there is the one with the woman and man; they are out driving late night and BOOM! They, too, hit.

I wouldn't mind if I was getting a warning at the start of the commercial, seriously.

Each one starts out innocently enough like some cute off the wall ad for something or the other.
Then ends, in what I am thinking some VW marketing exec thought would be tongue in cheek: each victim is seen outside the car crash, saying "bleep" and it cuts to the "Safe Happens" screen.

So we'd all be safer in a VW. Got it?
But I am disturbed. VERY disturbed. Just had to vent and get it out there.

Weekend...

The weekend was just something that passed me by in a blink.

Friday night I didn't do much of anything except wait by the phone for a much needed telephone call. That pushed me into desperate 'why-the-heck-aren't-you-calling/replying' text messages to that same person. UGH. I hate cell phones. Seriously; they f-up the game. You know what I mean.

Saturday I went to brunch and over indulged the bottom less bloody marys. Oy. I really didn't need to do that. Incredible picked my drunken butt up to go to IKEA. On the way we stopped at Dunkin' Donuts. I really didn't need a donut, while drunk, either. And of course I got the richest donut on the menu: Vanilla crème filled, powdered donut.

Uh. IKEA? A kids screaming mess.
Then we went to Home Depot and I swear I was sniffing paint; I love the smell of Home Depot. Love it. At this moment, the drunkedness was wearing off, so I need food. We stopped at Panda Express. Home by eight. Hung-over by ten at night; led to the laziest Sunday ever.

Oh and mi Italiano (who now has my number) called me Sunday morning for some non G rated conversation. Uh oh. What could I do? I had to play along…it was an international phone call, I didn't want to disappoint.
I'm very easy like that, as Pecos Girl discovered as well via the telephone. I had to confess to her, that I feel obligated to put out a wee bit something something if someone puts in way more cash than I expect them to for lil ole me.

Am I the only one?

Do You Remember Me?

Mmm…maybe I am back. Sorry I have been out for so long.
Let me tell you: New job= WORK.

I think I have been blessed with cushy jobs all my life up till this point.Yeah, I think so…
Pier 1 Imports: I was the Asst. Store Manager, part time. It was easy; people came in, bought furniture, done. Sometimes I had to wake up at 6 AM to help unload a truck shipment. I complained each and every time they made me do it. 6 AM when you are 21 years old is so freaking early. And yes, there were times I didn't even bother sleeping the night before.
GAP: Easy said, easy done.
USAA: Bank Specialist, part time. All I did was open deposits by mail and deposit them into said bank account. I had a 4 hour shift every other day and for that I still reaped all the delicious benefits that came with.
Clear Channel: Account Executive. Now this would have been a hard working job, if I cared about rules back then and we were not at the beginning of war, and Clear Channel's name wasn't in every sentence that had to do with monopoly. I was so over it that I just didn't work as hard as I could have. I took 4 hour lunches (on the company) and spent my afternoons watching soap operas, from my couch, when I was supposedly on client calls.
PR Newswire: Where I just left…well, I did work A LOT. It was easy work though. It kind of laughed in my degree's face it was so easy. I seriously think they could replace me with a 16 year old and they'd fit in, day one. I'm not knocking it, I'm just saying.

And now, where I am now: Holy crap. Overtime the first week I was here. Speed learning tasks I didn't know Excel could do. Manning two departments, that seriously needed me 6 months ago. Writing biographies (and proofing them!). Writing marketing materials (and learning we have a proofing department that can proof them). Getting reprimanded 3 weeks into it, because uhm I don't take initiative--as if the above hasn't kept me busy enough.

Now you are almost caught up because that's just work.

Personally I moved apartments (again) and love the new place. Spent a great weekend in San Antonio (with Pecos Girl)--also went to Cracker Barrel for the first time ever, which amazed me more than I can admit, especially when I used to live 5 minutes from the darn place and Ex Boyfriend lived less than two minutes from it. Bought my first ever designer jeans and fell in love with them! I haven't been to the grocery store in over a month, which frankly, saddens me; but somehow have gone a dress size.
Oh, that means I have eaten out every night, not starved myself like the way it sounds.