Merci

Hungover, not so much.
Headache: yes. Stomachache: yes.

I was at the point of if I had one more glass of wine, I'd be drunk. Knowing that I had to drive home and stay up to watch 'Lost' (I cannot be the one around the watercooler who didn't see it last night), I kept the drinking in control.

Mofo, I should have just had that one more glass. Because the headache is still here and my poor stomach. Oy.

It was the cheese. The goat cheese to be exact. Mixed wih the reislings.

First we had the pommes frites and #1 glass of wine.
Then the pita bread with warm goat cheese, #2 glass of wine.
Then the pita bread with more warm goat cheese and a plate of hummus, mint yogurt, and pesto. #3 glass of wine.
Grilled cheese sandwich w/ apples (so freakalicious yummy), #4 glass of wine.

Could I have had any more cheese? Seriously.

Can You Keep a Secret?

I did make one last batch of cupcakes for the work peeps.
Sometimes I don't pick up the phone when Incredible calls.
My cell phone ring is "Jenny From the Block". People laugh when they hear it. 'What?!?'
I love the song "Share My World" by Rhiana--not as much as I love "Jenny From the Block".
I am terrified to start the new job.
If I find myself talking to myself while driving; I'll put on my earpiece so I don't look crazy to fellow drivers passing me by.
I always sing in the car. Sometimes, dance.
I don't really like alcohol.
I'd rather shop and bake than sleep.
I've already seen "40 Year Old Virgin" three times.
When I was a kid I'd devour anything chocolate. Now, as an adult, I don't like anything chocolate...except Cadbury Eggs. That's different.
I'll dance like a wild woman alone in my apartment when bored. Just pop in "Jenny From the Block" and I am gone.
I only own one cookbook.
I only own one pot and too many baking pans.
I'm still peeling from my sun burn.
I so didn't tell mi Italiano that I have a boyfriend.
I cannot find a new couch to save me. I like them all and cannot put the money down and commit to one couch.
Moving is fun for me.
I could write a book about it, I've done it so many times.
If there is a monogram "T" on it, I LOVE it.
I don't watch the news. Not even morning news shows.
I do watch Top Chef, America's Next Top Model, LOST, Freddie, The Sopranos, Big Love (Anyone else watching this?), and 24.
I am so hoping Audrey is guilty on 24. I cannot stand her!
My last days here are flying by too quickly.
Sometimes I think I reply to emails too quickly.
I'd rather be a size 8 and 5'8"---that is my ideal size.
I wear heels to make me appear 5'8". How will I walk to my new office in 3 inch heels? HOW?!?
I was in Target three days in a row last week.
Since I am slow, I just now bought and am reading "Can You Keep a Secret". HILARIOUS!

Uh, No They Didn't

My last day is tomorrow.
I'll probably cry. And it takes a lot for me to cry.

It takes the second time around for me to cry for a movie. I don't cry over a book.
I don't cry when Incredible does something so out of the blue romantic.

The last job I left, I cried.
Not Clear Channel--no way not those mofos. But USAA.
I didn't want to leave, my friend's boyfriend had to escort me to my car. It was that bad. I had a box full of my desk items and a huge balloon bouquet.
Tears were just flowing.
Maybe it's because the universe was telling me I was leaving Heaven for uhm, well, Clear Channel.
Not that USAA was all that.
I left behind so much: 3 years of work, friends, a kick ass yearly bonus, and comfort.
The unknown scares me.

What if I don't fit in? What if they don't like me? What if I don't like them?
Will they snear at my personality and clothes?
Will my jokes not be funny over there?

It's like the first day of school, after a break up.

I have to break up with my old company. It'll be so sad. The chicas (from Group A) are making it hard. They keep telling me that they'll miss me and are reminiscing about fun times past in the office.
Maybe I need a yearbook for them to sign...

Group B is planning a lunch for me. No shock there, they like any occasion where we can order food in. So do I; but they live for a day to celebrate by bringing food in. HUGE difference.

As much as I'll miss them, I do look forward to finally putting my degree to some actual usage.
I told my mom that and she was like, huh?? Don't you do PR now? My mom thinks any desk job is PR. It's so hard to explain to her, what PR actually is, that I just let her keep thinking that.
Oh. My old school mother. If you are not a doctor, lawyer, architect, or teacher---she has no concept of what you do.

Anyways, people in my office are speaking to me like I am Dead Woman Walking. But I'm just going to be downtown now, not Mars.
Well, it will be Mars, for Group B.

Group A then came up with a happy hour to send me off. But it's tonight, my last day is tomorrow. Are they wanting to get rid of me sooner?

Oh, no, they have something else in mind.

I'll give you three guesses to where those chicas are taking me...
1. Nope
2. Not there
3 But here.
Remember? Those Group A girls know how to be ironic. Well, it should be said, I'll be drunk...maybe not $900 tab drunk, but still because if they can be ironic, I can be funny (and drunk).

Because my wallet is staying at home.

Fin de Semana

The map and the plan worked, even if I had to swim to the mall.
It never stopped raining for more than 10 minutes here in Texas this past weekend.

Normally a weekend like this, I would've stayed in and baked cupcakes. There was shopping to be had, so off to the mall I went.

Yes, I found everything, complete shock!
Khaki pants, found and bought.
A black button down shirt, along with a cute other semi dressy shirt, found and bought. FYI: 40% off all shirts at the Limited.
Pair of jeans that fit my J. Lo butt, found and bought.

Whoo. Now I can start shopping for the stuff that I really want---some new home stuff for the apartment.
So the fun shopping can really begin!

I also met up with some girlfriends for brunch. While it poured buckets outside, we ate and caught up on some great raunchy candid girl talk.

Since it was pouring, Blockbuster was empty of any and all its new releases. I ended up renting '40 Year Old Virgin' and 'Elizabethtown'.

How come nobody told me about the Black guy in '40 Year Old Virgin'?!? He was HYSTERICAL. I was laughing my butt off. More so than 'Wedding Crashers'.
Each and every person that told me about this movie just said it was okay and that the funny parts were with the bookstore girl (Huh?!?); yeah, she was funny but the Black guy taked the cake with me.
I find it funny that not one person mentioned him at all or Paul Rudd, helloooooo....

Then there was 'Elizabethtown', which I could have done without. Gee whiz, how many songs are on that soundtrack? I felt like I was watching one extra long video of Cameron Crowe's favorite songs.
It was painful to sit through but once the memorial happened and Orlando started his road trip that's when I started feeling the movie.
Too bad I had to put up with 2 hours of boring crap, Kristen Dunst, and Paula Dean to get there. Oy.
Am I the only one that cannot stand Kristen Dunst? She annoys me to no end. I don't know why, maybe its her voice or scraggly hair. I am so bad. Oops.

Curiosity Will Kill the Cat

So, of course, I wrote back to mi Italiano. He wrote back.

I don't know what I did to make him all ga ga over me, but, what can I do? I live here; he lives there. I'm making nice with him because the group is already discussing possible dates in June for us to go back to the house. Uh huh.
I just hope my tan lines are gone by then. And yes, I would so go back.
I now plan to be somewhere in Mexico at least one a year.

Anyways, call it shameless flirting or whatever, but the fantasy in my head of the two of us will stay in my head. And the emails--they'll continue on...

So I asked him if he was married, had kids, and his age. I just had to know. His response below:

HOLA' MI AMOR
I 'M WORKING VERY MUCH BECAUSE WE HAVE GUESTS IN VILLA.
BUT... I' M HERE TO ANSWER YOUR TERRIBLES QUESTIONS.
YES, I' M MARRIED.
I ' M BUDDHIST SO I HAVE 3 BRIDES.
THE FIRST BRIDE IS CUBANA,BARBARA. THE SECOND IS CHINA, YASCIKO AND THE LAST
BRIDE IS THE PANAMA , ARIANA.
I HAVE 2 LITTLE KIDS AND I 'M 35 YEARS OLD.
BUT... YOU KNOW THAT ALL MENS ARE LIAR.
SO... I ' M A MAN , I' M A LIAR AND SO I 'M NOT SAYING THE TRUTH.
THE TRUTH IS THAT
I 'M NOT ABSOLUTELY MARRIED.
I HAVE NOT ANY KID AND I'M 38 YEARS OLD.
I LOVE MEXICO. REALLY RIVIERA MAYA AND ITS SEA.
SO ...I CARRIED OUT MY DUTY.
ONE LAST THING:
"ME GUSTAS MUCHO Y TE ESTRAÑO."
Y ESTA ES LA VERDAD MAS GRANDE.
UN MONTON DE BESOS PARA TI , MI AMOR.

Don't you just love his wit? And the poor English/grammar?
I'm gonna sit on this awhile and not respond because as you can see he is falling. Hard.

Speed Shopping

The key was (surprisingly) enter the mall with no patience whatsoever Incredible.

After dinner at Tin Star (my new fave) and no dessert at Pokey O's, we headed to the mall.

He needed some hair gel and since he is a miva (male diva); he can only put the special gel that you can only get from some special male hair product line only available at Neiman's.

Uhm hmm...Neiman's. Incredible. I still can't wrap my brain around it. Oh. Well. That got me to the mall last night. We were in and out of there in half an hour.

In that short time, we managed to hit (after I made puppy dog eyes) Express, Kenneth Cole, and Nine West. So, ha ha I won't need to even enter that other section when I hit the mall for real on Saturday. Shoot, we cut out at least an hour of my solo shopping in about 15 minutes.

Did I find stuff? Heck, yeah. Did we leave the mall a happy couple?

Uhm hmm, I refuse to torture men by making them wait alongside me looking like they'd rather have their toenails yanked off their toes than shop.
In and out. Zip.

Black skirt. It's the first one in the row. Done. (let's also add how I fell in love with the sales girl, almost making her my new retail buddy because she suggested that I try on the size zero. Voila. Uh huh--never did I think I'd be a zero. Their sizing must be running big or small or whatever it is that gets me into a zero.)

White button down. (that fits better) Done.
--I also got this from Express. FYI: If your purchase is over $50; they throw in a cute tank top for free.

And the cutest shoes on the planet! Done.

I am still shocked that we got all this done, in and out, thirty minutes. Then we headed to Super Target, in less than 5 minutes, I got shampoo, conditioner, and facial cleanser. He got mouthwash. I tried to make puppy dog eyes for a browse of the clothing, but he wasn't having that.

Darn it!

Got Milk?

Wanna know a secret?

I'm lactose intolerant for about 5 days each month. Those 5 days surround, yep, yep, you guessed it: that time of the freaking month.

And right now? Right at this moment, I'd like to kill my past self for waiting 10 minutes, with little screaming kids running amok in their bare stinky feet and a gigantic (literally) family of eight ordering everything on the menu in front me just to order a flipping McFlurry.

Couldn't do the drive through because it was packed.
Had to have the McFlurry because the uterus said so.

Now, I want to tear up into it and take it out. ASAP. Why? Why?
I know I'm lactose intolerant at this time. I know it. At the same time I crave dairy like a crack whore craves, well, crack.
The stupid part of my brain would like nothing more but to stick an IV of milk in me. Yeah you read that right. It's odd, huh? And I never drink milk. The only time milk is usually in my apartment is cupcake/baking times .

(oh and did I mention I gave up cupcakes for Lent? HA HA. Easy way out?!? Seriously I needed a break from baking them all the time. I get nothing in return from my office peeps--not even a thank you from the majority of the heifers. And you so know that a few of them dared to ask me if I'd bake a few before my last day. HELLO? Huh?!?!)

The smart part of the brain never wins. Never.

Here I sit, moaning and groaning and kicking my womb for daring to sneak in some dairy. Gosh darn it, that McFlurry sure was good.

The pain will leave me in an hour or so and I bet your bottom dollar that I have ice cream tonight...Never mind that because it is going to happen because we have date night tonight and my Incredible wants to go here for dessert.

Oh. Well.

Cleaning Out My Closet

I'm still here...Unfortunately.
Crap, I was really hoping that once I put in my notice, my company would have said "just go". They didn't. So I sit here and peruse the internet.
Good grief. Maybe I'll get caught...with my luck, they'll pass a blind eye.

Now I have taken up my third favorite past time: shopping online. I never really got into it before because I don't have a computer at home. Boo.

New job means new clothes. At the law firm I will have to dress 'professionally' business casual. Here, other people show up like they rolled out of bed, literally. We're talking sweats, rumpled shirts, the messiest of hair. Me, I just look cute. I don't think some of my everyday here will pass over there.

Last week Bev inspired me to clean out the closet. HUGE mistake for my banking account. After editing and tossing stuff out*, I realized a whole lotta holes in my closet.
1. I don't own one single black skirt.
2. Or khaki pants
3. Or a simple black button down shirt.
HUH?!?

Black skirt? isn't that the numero uno staple in every girl's closet? I'm scared to tell y'all I also don't own a black dress. WTF?!?

I don't know how I've been surviving. Since the weight loss, I also need a new pair of black pants.

I plan to shop this weekend. If its like any other shopping trip with the words "must find", I most likely will leave the mall empty handed. Crap!

I hate shopping pressure. Let's also add that I have money to shop with and that brings in the other problem.
Whenever you have money, you cannot find anything to spend it on. When you have no money to spend, everything you must have. Everything.
UGH.
I hate it.

Don't worry, I will make another map for shopping trip/marathon. I know some of you are shocked that I do this. It is a must or I will completely forget that there is an Anthropologie in the mall OR that the new wing at North Park has Nordstrom's. For those of you asking: is it hard to forget that?
YES.

If you are like me, you may hit the mall in a certain order.
I always enter North Park through Dillard's and enter the mall by the shoe department. I head north from there and usually stay only in that wing. I shop it up all the way to Foley's and head back, leave through Dillard's. Done. All my usuals and my sales associate friend** (GAP, BR, Armani Exchange, The Limited, Rampage, and Guess) are in that wing and surprisingly that wing is never that crowded.

Yes, I never see the other 2/3's of the mall. That was before. Before the new wing. I can never remember that it's there. So, yes I need a map.

I browse online first and make a list of all the items I want to try on and consider buying. I don't miss a thing.

Rule number one: I have to go alone. Sorry. I hate feeling rushed, especially while trying items on. I can wear a pair of jeans in the GAP fitting room for an hour (oh I so have) while I try on different shirts and tops. I have to move in them to know if they are perfect or not. Those GAP peeps don't mind.

Also, nobody else can understand the plan. And whenever I go with someone; it never fails that we leave before I am ready to go.

Maps and plans are essential for shopping. So are comfy heels so I can measure hems up properly. Oh and water---tons of water or I might make a friend at the ice cream shoppe.

*My toss out pile is still on the floor in the middle of my closet. I cannot let go. Just yet.

**Everyone needs a buddy that works at a clothing retail store. Everyone. Do this now, if you don't already. I cannot explain to you how much my life has changed and the extra dollars in my bank account that love me. First my buddy whored it at Kenneth Cole, then he quit and is now at Armani Exchange. Loving it. I had another that used to work at Banana Republic--now he works the high end women shoes department at Neiman's. Uhm hmm...get you a buddy.

Tidbit of News

I got a new job.

Not with my current company.
But with a law firm! No, I didn't lie and tell them I have a law degree and will be practicing law.
I will be doing business development, marketing, and event planning. Whoo hoo. I am so flipping excited.

Thanks for listening to me and my job woes, many interview paranoia, and all the hope of finding something new.
It has finally paid off.

So, if I am not posting a lot (after the 27th) it's because I have new job drama to learn and will be busy busy. Now hopefully I can buy a computer for home use.

TGIF and have a great weekend!

My Milkshake Brings All the Boys to the Yard

Last night I needed a McDonald's milkshake badly---aiyee I cannot lie: I had that crack for lunch and craved it again for dinner; so yes, I ate it twice in one day. Thank goodness there are millions of McDonalds. Thank goodness.

Since Mexico has come and gone--so has the diet. Now I'm not going to go binge and go back to my old eating habits, but if I crave the McD, I'm gonna go regardless if I was there two times in one day the day before.

Yesterday I was knocked off my butt by Benadryl, woke up, craved the food, picked it up, watched '24', then passed out again before Edgar died. WTF was that all about, Kiefer? Is it the goal to get rid of everyone this season or what? Thank you for bringing Kim back; I was beginning to wonder what she was up to.

That was last night and this morning I came in extra early to work (lots of sleep will do that to you apparently). Guess what was waiting in my email inbox?!?! Twisted, you ready? You, too Yamell (because I need an interpreter)?

Uh huh, read it below:

¿ COMO ESTAS ?
¿TODO BIEN CON EL VUELO DE REGRESO A TEXAS ?
ACABO DE CONOCERTE Y TU TE VAS MI AMOR !
QUEBRASTE MI CORAZON TAKY !!
ESPERO QUE TU ENTIENDAS MI ESPAÑOL.
PERO SOBRE TODO MI INGLES.
TU ME GUSTAS MUCHISSIMO TAKY LO SABES ? YA TE DISTE CUENTA ?
IT WAS A ..." SHINING ".... FOR ME....OF COURSE.
OK . SO, WAY DON 'T WE SPEAK ABOUT YOUR NEXT HOLIDAY HERE IN MEXICO ?
TEXAS IS NOT FAR FROM HERE.
I'D LIKE THAT VERY VERY MUCH.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS ?
YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE TO GO TO " CAMBALACHE " AND I HAVE TO SHOW YOU
...
A WANDERFUL "CENOTE ".
YOU WAS VERY KIND WITH MI TO COME BACK AT MY HOME FOR ME.
REALLY.... I WAS WAITING FOR YOU.
I SEND YOU ALL THE KISS THAT I WAS NOT ABLE TO GIVE YOU.
AND ...I 'D LIKE THAT YOU ARE HERE WITH ME, NOW.
CUIDATE
Mi Itliano

Since my Spanish is rough, all I could make out of the first part of the email is: IS ALL WELL WITH THE FLIGHT BACK TO TEXAS?
HAVE JUST KNOWN YOU AND YOU GO MY LOVE, YOU BROKE MY HEART, I EXPECT THAT YOUR UNDERSTAND MY SPANISH, AND BUT ABOVE ALL MY GROINS

Huh? I don't know what else he is trying to say.
I got the gist of it: blah blah, I have a crush on you, blah blah, when you coming back? blah blah.
I think I need to make him wait a day before I reply (shoot, he needs to cool off, don't you think?)

or maybe I should shock him to pieces and reply back in Italian...

Cuándo en México...

Dia Uno
With some minor drama at the customs counter in Cancun, we were finally on our way to the house. It was an hour long drive, so we arrived when the sun was setting. The house still looked awesome and so did the view of the beach. We chilled and went up to bed. Nothing exciting.

Dia Dos
I was awakened by the sun. In Mexico the sun came up every morning, bright shiny in our room between 6 and 6:30 AM. I was fully awake and suited by 7AM each morning. Everyone was, it was weird but then again none of us had watches. We'd tell time by the hunger pains in our stomachs. Of course, I couldn't cut my cell cord, so it was with me the entire trip. I'm sure all my friends are mad at me for texting them bright and early each morning. We laid out all day long. All. Day.
Yes, I have a tan. Yes, I am burnt. Incredible told me that I look like a black cherry.

The best part of the trip were the housekeepers. The woman made (squeezed) fresh orange juice for us every morning. She'd make our beds, cut up fresh fruit for us, pick up after us, and her husband would walk the grounds every few hours to make sure we were safe. The house was in a very secluded village. Our nearest neighbor was about two football fields away. More on him, un momento...

Dia Tres
Back at the pool at 7AM and I've read half the magazines we each bought with us for entertainment. Two more girls were expected later that afternoon and we couldn't wait because with them they were bringing the finale to the Bachelor with them. (OK, how anticlimactic and boring was that?!?)

After about no less than ten minutes in the house, one of the girls announces that she is pregnant and she just found out that past Monday. She was like 2 weeks pregnant and told four strangers because she didn't want us to think she was a recovering alcoholic not drinking-----whoa, I would have never thought that. I was never drunk-drunk on the trip. I think she just needed to spill her news. It annoyed the crap out of me because aren't you supposed to wait at least 3 months before telling anyone?!? AND to make the matter worse, it was all she could talk about. Conversation with her was all about what she could and couldn't eat, how nauseous she was, her morning sickness, and blah blah baby. I was happy for her, but seriously I think if you are pregnant for 2 weeks, do you really feel nausea?!? I may be wrong, but I think it was built up in her head especially since she just found out. You know what I mean?
Enough of her.

Me and another girl decided to explore the rest of the road in our village, which led to us meeting the neighbor. First we spotted him on his balcony---top less and wearing a sarong. We went ga-ga. It was hot.
We circled back on the beach, meaning we had to pass his backyard to get back to our house. Minutes later, he and his dogs were behind us.
Since I am not so naive anymore, we all know he did this on purpose because we never saw him walk his dogs before or after and he was speed walking to catch up to us. Uhm hmm.
He stopped us.
Thank the Lord, I know Spanish.
Thank you. Gracias. Thank you. Gracias! His English was not so great...

He's Italian. He's retired (but not old. I didn't think it was polite to ask, but I guess he is about 30-35). He spends 6 months in Mexico and 6 months in Italy. He owns shoe stores. He is writing a book on Cuban history. He asked me out on a date. In Cancun. I had to say no because Cancun was an hour away and we all have heard those stories about tourist...
but instead of no, I said yes---and we'll get to that later.
We said our goodbyes for that day. Me and the girls then went to Blue Sky.
Best. Italian. Ever. (food, people)
I don't know why there were so many Italians that we met in Mexico.
I had the gnochhi pesto. Yum. And a lot of wine.

Dia Cuatro
This morning I started a book, I was magazined out. Never thought that could happen. I also could tell that I am now officially burnt. I tried to stay out of the sun and kept inside most of the day. I fell asleep and woke up in time to see my Italian on the beach speaking to the girls. Holy Crap!! White linen pants, white button down---he looked like a tanned Adonis. Still sleep groggy I just went back to bed. Oh well. I'd be crazy to go to Cancun alone with him. Just crazy.
That night we all made a big dinner and ate together, family style.

Dia Cinco
Laid out some more, finished half the book, and listened to preggers. OY. Today we were venturing to the ruins. It was very cool and the history amazed me, so did the beach. I never heard anyone ever mention that you can swim at the ruins. You can! The beach is beautiful. Clear seashell-less beach and seaweed free water. Too bad I left my suit at home.
At night we went to Tulum. We shopped and ate. By now you all must know that I am an eater. The burger I had was phenomenal! Tender, juicy, and beefy.
I'd do anything for that burger, again. That was the best night in Mexico.

Dia Seis
Yep, we laid out by the pool, all day. Feeling worried about how karma would bite me in the butt, I recruited my pal to take a walk to Italian's house. I felt I needed to apologize for standing him up. Rude, right? And I also needed one last good look at him, hee hee.
Oh brother, he came out from his house in grey shorts and that's all. He was splattered in paint and we later found out he was working hard on his house.
Oh and before I forget the best part: glasses.
OH HOLY...
it was hot, so hot I wish I came alone, drat!
He and I exchanged emails after he asked me out again, this time I said no. We'll have to wait because I am not emailing him first, uh uh.

Day Siete
What a sad day. Our last day, we laid out and did nothing more. Then we had to head back to Cancun (we saw Richard Dreyfus at the airport) and endured the longest flight back to Dallas.

I made it home in time to catch the funniest Oscars, ever.