Dear Retail Clothing Stores:
I am sorry to inform you that I cannot participate in this year's second Holiday known as Tax Free Weekend. There are two reasons for my absence. The number one reason and most obvious: I do not have a job.
The second and most important reason: It is too freaking hot outside to get excited over the Fall collections you boast on mannequins and window displays. Seriously. Long cardigan sweaters? Cordoroys? Wool pants? Turtlenecks? Argyle?
I can't justify buying your pretty fall items when it is a 100 freaking degrees outside. Have you heard the news lately? Even Paris is recording high heat indexes. Tourism is down. Or have you stepped outside lately? I swear I saw a bird spontaneously combust.
Nobody wants to be outside and you still, still want to market cooler weather clothing? Are you making a profit lately? This is not like years past where only Texas was in triple digit degree weather in August--this is a national phenomenon. Al Gore was right global warming is coming fast upon us.
I think you should do your part and put back out the tees, tanks, and shorts. Especially white shorts, because I'd shell out the dough for a pair.
Again, I apologize for not taking part this weekend.