T-minus, 3 hours till my mom gets to town. Oh, give me the strength.
6 plus hours in a car, one wedding, one hotel room, many restaurants, now a book store*, and she is meeting Incredible for the first time.
Yeah, much needed Calgon needs to be shipped to me for my Monday--De-Mommyfying of myself.
*Incredible let me 'borrow' a book his mom gave him. It was such a good book, I read it on the plane to Phoenix. Once there I couldn't shut up about it. So, my mom wanted to read and she thought she could fit it into her schedule (I should've known otherwise) and that she would mail it back to me. That was 3 months ago. Incredible asks about it all the time. She told me she would definitely bring the book with her this weekend. While she was last minute packing, I reminded her about the book, her reply, verbatim:
"Oh, Honey I think I lost it. I mean I don't know where it is...maybe I threw it out when I was cleaning after Christmas...yeah...I think that's what happened. Hmm...We can just go to a bookstore when I get to town"
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Friday, January 28
OOPS
Incredible is mad at me because I didn't jump up and down and all around while peeing my pants when he called and told me that he sat center court to the Duke/Maryland game the other night.
Hmmm...let this be a lesson learned: call someone who cares, next time. Wait...It's not that I didn't care, I was happy for him but not as happy if he was stuck in an elevator with P. Diddy as my co-worker's mom was...uhm hmm and she is so down that she knew who P. Diddy was and called our offices to tell us the story. I laughed my ass off when she said, so seriously "Oh, and he is so much nicer in person".
Now, that is news, to get excited about.
Hmmm...let this be a lesson learned: call someone who cares, next time. Wait...It's not that I didn't care, I was happy for him but not as happy if he was stuck in an elevator with P. Diddy as my co-worker's mom was...uhm hmm and she is so down that she knew who P. Diddy was and called our offices to tell us the story. I laughed my ass off when she said, so seriously "Oh, and he is so much nicer in person".
Now, that is news, to get excited about.
Why I Heart Project: Runway
Besides the overtone of pure bitchiness. I love this show for 3 reasons: Jay, Heidi, and Wendy. Jay because he says exactly what he and I are thinking. He is this show. I wish he was my co-worker because I know he and I would have a fab time making fun of my co-workers and he would make the work day exciting. I am definitely pulling for him or Kara Saun to win. I don't call her Kara--she is Kara Saun--is it just me or is it more fun to say both her names? She kicks butt each and every time.
Heidi--oh how I hated you so when this all began. Now you are my fave supermodel (What happened to the Supermodel--where are the Cindy's, Naomi's, and Elle's--has anyone noticed that the supermodel has left our culture? Guess that's why we have shows like America's Next Top Model) She not only bluntly kicks you off the show--she does so in German--"Auf Wiedersehen"--GOOD-BYE! And she does it in a kick ass outfit--those boots this week---oh, Heidi, I love it and she is dating Seal. How cool is that?
Wendy Pepper---what is up with yo hair, child? Can one of the Loreal make-up artist fix her up? WAY too much blusher on those cheeks, way too much. When did she become a Queen Bitch? One day, Kara was making her over (guess she didn't take it too well because it was back to blush overload the very next day) and then she became this PMS nightmare.
I know she is the oldest, not the wisest, but puhleeze. I secretly wish that Jay just kicks her and cannot wait for the moment when Heidi Auf Wiedersehen's her ass.
Heidi--oh how I hated you so when this all began. Now you are my fave supermodel (What happened to the Supermodel--where are the Cindy's, Naomi's, and Elle's--has anyone noticed that the supermodel has left our culture? Guess that's why we have shows like America's Next Top Model) She not only bluntly kicks you off the show--she does so in German--"Auf Wiedersehen"--GOOD-BYE! And she does it in a kick ass outfit--those boots this week---oh, Heidi, I love it and she is dating Seal. How cool is that?
Wendy Pepper---what is up with yo hair, child? Can one of the Loreal make-up artist fix her up? WAY too much blusher on those cheeks, way too much. When did she become a Queen Bitch? One day, Kara was making her over (guess she didn't take it too well because it was back to blush overload the very next day) and then she became this PMS nightmare.
I know she is the oldest, not the wisest, but puhleeze. I secretly wish that Jay just kicks her and cannot wait for the moment when Heidi Auf Wiedersehen's her ass.
Wednesday, January 26
MTV, You Never Fail Me
Holy Crap--what was I sucked into last night? First I saw a mini-Charlotte York and Future Whore of America plan their outrageous Sweet 16 Birthday party. They tried to get Beyonce to perform but a half million dollars stopped that. When did turning sixteen become a huge production? I nearly peed my pants when my parents took me to the Red Lobster for my 16th. That was the highlight of the year for me. Those two bitches were stressing over looking alike--that dress was so much more cuter on mini-Charlotte. Then, oh gosh, how to contain my excitement: Landon and Shavonda hooked up much to Karamo's disapproval. Then he said out loud that he would slit Landon's throat. WTF? We already know he is a hater of interracial-ness and only sees color/race when he walks down the street; but this is not Lord of the Flies--you are in Fiji and on MTV; so you will never have to work again, so, get over yourself and let's get some more shots of Landon's fine tanned body---yum. Can you blame the grown ass woman for hooking up with that?
Then there was another episode of Super Sweet 16; this time the birthday girl invited her school crush who was not so hot and was in desperate need of a haircut. The best part was her mom--who insisted on mardi-gras beads and taking shots all night long...that's when I saw my future as a mother.
Then there was another episode of Super Sweet 16; this time the birthday girl invited her school crush who was not so hot and was in desperate need of a haircut. The best part was her mom--who insisted on mardi-gras beads and taking shots all night long...that's when I saw my future as a mother.
Tuesday, January 25
Project: Pregnant?
I am convinced that the very same co-worker who gave birth in June 2004, is now 3/4 months pregnant again...making this baby's due date June or July this year. I'm sleuthing around and am practicing a straight face when she decides to go public with that news.
Clues:
eats Hubba Bubba gum and hot flavored Cheetos--non stop
maternity clothes back in rotation when she went off that wardrobe last month
constant tugging down on her shirt as if to conceal her bump
more to come as this plot unveils
Clues:
eats Hubba Bubba gum and hot flavored Cheetos--non stop
maternity clothes back in rotation when she went off that wardrobe last month
constant tugging down on her shirt as if to conceal her bump
more to come as this plot unveils
Monday, January 24
What Your Mama Won't Tell You
No matter what promises or excuses a guy may give you; never, ever, ever make a home video of the two of you making whoopee.
Even if he tells you that; he will be the only one who watches it, he won't tell a soul, or that the tape has been erased. Those are all lies.
One day, many moons from then you may become famous and that tape may air out in public. The fool will be you.
I'm warning you all now and doing you a favor because I don't think anyone warned Pam, Paris, Jenna, and now Paige Davis.
Even if he tells you that; he will be the only one who watches it, he won't tell a soul, or that the tape has been erased. Those are all lies.
One day, many moons from then you may become famous and that tape may air out in public. The fool will be you.
I'm warning you all now and doing you a favor because I don't think anyone warned Pam, Paris, Jenna, and now Paige Davis.
Friday, January 21
I'm Mad, but also High so it May be Okay
Someone in this office used waaaaaaay too much Sharpie marker on their box out for delivery. The FedEx Shipping box is 5 feet too close to my desk.
UGHHHHHH
Can I go home, yet?
UGHHHHHH
Can I go home, yet?
Make New Friends
Since I am reading all about other people's friendships, it got me thinking: why is it so hard to make friends post-college? Am I the only one with this problem? In college all you had to do was sit next to someone in class and POOF there you have it, a buddy. Now as I am 27, most of my new friends were like pulling teeth to make. Not their fault and not my own; but its just an awkward situation. You meet, you click, you have such great conversation, and when its over you feel like some guy or Lesbian hitting on them asking them for their number so you can hook up later or something. I met someone over Christmas break and have not called her, yet--from the sheer fear she will think I am a freak trying to get in her panties. UGH. This anxiety is the same as calling a guy for the first time--what do you say? Do you ask them out? Will you be friends? Do they like you back?
Any help on that subject, put it in the comment box.
Any help on that subject, put it in the comment box.
I Don't Have Wedding Fever; My Closet Does
I have about eight wedding/bride magazines (Erin's getting married; I have an excuse). They are all shoved and thrown into my entry closet.
This only causes several cases of paranoia when a certain person comes in and wants to hang his own coat. We may need to re-figure something out because he is getting too used to me, taking his coat and hanging it for him and we are not in 1962. Underneath my bed is already crowded and my own closet is slowly turning into our closet. I'm thisclose to bringing them to my office, but if my co-workers saw them, I'll never hear the end of it. Then he has a key and numerously lets himself into my apartment when I am not there. Each time I pray its not the day I walk in and he is is sitting there, magazines strewn about and giving me that "Are you insane?" look.
But, then...the other night he caught me watching Real Weddings from the Knot (Erin REALLY is getting married). To my surprise he sat down and made fun of the Bride and her hideous wedding alongside me. THEN after we had a very heavy discussion about why is it that all the couples we know are having destination weddings. Seriously, what is up with that trend? I won't go too into it because you never know when you'll get an invite to Tulsa (ha ha ha ha) for my wedding.
This only causes several cases of paranoia when a certain person comes in and wants to hang his own coat. We may need to re-figure something out because he is getting too used to me, taking his coat and hanging it for him and we are not in 1962. Underneath my bed is already crowded and my own closet is slowly turning into our closet. I'm thisclose to bringing them to my office, but if my co-workers saw them, I'll never hear the end of it. Then he has a key and numerously lets himself into my apartment when I am not there. Each time I pray its not the day I walk in and he is is sitting there, magazines strewn about and giving me that "Are you insane?" look.
But, then...the other night he caught me watching Real Weddings from the Knot (Erin REALLY is getting married). To my surprise he sat down and made fun of the Bride and her hideous wedding alongside me. THEN after we had a very heavy discussion about why is it that all the couples we know are having destination weddings. Seriously, what is up with that trend? I won't go too into it because you never know when you'll get an invite to Tulsa (ha ha ha ha) for my wedding.
Thursday, January 20
Boone Hill
I'm so Lost I have no idea what theory to believe anymore, but I will say this, is it just me or is Boone getting hotter and hotter the longer they are stranded?
I'm a Lover, Not a Fighter
Last week Incredible was in a bar fight. Instead of asking a zillion questions as to why, I let it go because he was drunk and he is a boy. Boys don't like explaining why they do stuff.
Last night, well I should say in the wee hours of this morning, I received a punch. I was sleeping and dreaming of sugar plums and all of a sudden: WHACK. I woke up and he was fighting me in his sleep.
I put on my thinking cap and remembered that you are not supposed to wake up people who are sleep walking BUT he was fighting me---literally. I couldn't just lay back and be the punching bag, so I woke him up and with sleepy green eyes, he kissed my neck and said: "I'll pick you up at noon"
Ohhhhhhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaay.
1. I think he has some sort of violence problem
2. How cute was that?
Last night, well I should say in the wee hours of this morning, I received a punch. I was sleeping and dreaming of sugar plums and all of a sudden: WHACK. I woke up and he was fighting me in his sleep.
I put on my thinking cap and remembered that you are not supposed to wake up people who are sleep walking BUT he was fighting me---literally. I couldn't just lay back and be the punching bag, so I woke him up and with sleepy green eyes, he kissed my neck and said: "I'll pick you up at noon"
Ohhhhhhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaay.
1. I think he has some sort of violence problem
2. How cute was that?
I'm a Lover, not a Fighter
Last week Incredible was in a bar fight. Instead of asking a zillion questions as to why, I let it go because he was drunk and he is a boy. Boys don't like explaining why they do stuff.
Last night, well I should say in the wee hours of this morning, I received a punch. I was sleeping and dreaming of sugar plums and all of a sudden: WHACK. I woke up and he was fighting me in his sleep.
I put on my thinking cap and remembered that you are not supposed to wake up people who are sleep walking BUT he was fighting me---literally. I couldn't just lay back and be the punching bag, so I woke him up and with sleepy green eyes, he kissed my neck and said: "I'll pick you up at noon"
Ohhhhhhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaay.
1. I think he has some sort of violence problem
2. How cute was that?
Last night, well I should say in the wee hours of this morning, I received a punch. I was sleeping and dreaming of sugar plums and all of a sudden: WHACK. I woke up and he was fighting me in his sleep.
I put on my thinking cap and remembered that you are not supposed to wake up people who are sleep walking BUT he was fighting me---literally. I couldn't just lay back and be the punching bag, so I woke him up and with sleepy green eyes, he kissed my neck and said: "I'll pick you up at noon"
Ohhhhhhhhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaay.
1. I think he has some sort of violence problem
2. How cute was that?
Wednesday, January 19
Get Her Laid, Already
Not once, not twice--but three times Sarah tried to get her some and was shot down---one dude, even, ran away from her. What is happening here? She is consciously aware that cameras are following her every move, right? Her parents must be real proud. I kept LMAO each time MTV labeled each guy: British Guy #1; British Guy #2; when we got to #3, I was sure it was just a repeat of #1---oh but no way, Sarah did disappoint and she was seducing British Guy #3. I am not one to judge, but come on, seriously? Are there no available men who are willing to sleep with her in Philly? Do you know how big that city is? I am sure there is some guy who would love to say he sprung the Real World chick. I know if Randy (San Diego) hooked up with me; I'd never shut up about it. Sarah's cute, right? She's got a little junk in the trunk, but hey, so do I and I am fairly certain I could have bagged #1---like that! Were the cameras the turn off? Is her game that off par? The cameras needed to keep rolling in the bungalows so we could give her some tips. But the Tease award goes to Vonda--girl, can you just make up your mind--you are in Fiji and your Ex-boyfriend stateside is UGLY. Landon is hot and he wants YOU. I cannot believe I was actually cheering at the end of last night's episode because 100 Fijian dollars to nothing they hooked up.
Tuesday, January 18
Seriously, There is Nothing Wrong with That
Do I come across as a conservative? I would hope not. If you think so, please tell me now, so I can change whatever it is ASAP!
I have a friend, whom I've known for 9 months. We've eaten dinner together, gone out to bars, and there was one time that I was extremely drunk with her--the night she had her first martini. She was very drunk as well. The martinis were $3 each. You can imagine.
She is a very cute person and one of the prettiest people I know. Well, one of the Erin's wanted to hook her up with what we assume to be a fine specimen of a man. I question Aerin's taste, but was willing to give the benefit of the doubt when she said he was "Super-Fine". So, I relayed the info to my 9-month old friend, she seemed enthusiastic. That was Saturday, so today I sent her a follow email asking if she was still interested. The reply I got back, was not expected; the longest email ever explaining her Gay-ness and how she never told me because I would a) freak out; b) never hang with her, again; and c) I didn't seem like the type that would accept Homosexuals.
WHAT?!?
She ended the letter, so sadly, hoping that she, me, and my boyfriend (ha--if I still have one after that Valentine remark) could still hang out because she really loves my company.
Okay, has she met Daniel? Better, has she met me? True, I only know Gay boys but I open to a Lesbian friend...I'm Equal Opportunity over here--all applicants may apply.
I have a friend, whom I've known for 9 months. We've eaten dinner together, gone out to bars, and there was one time that I was extremely drunk with her--the night she had her first martini. She was very drunk as well. The martinis were $3 each. You can imagine.
She is a very cute person and one of the prettiest people I know. Well, one of the Erin's wanted to hook her up with what we assume to be a fine specimen of a man. I question Aerin's taste, but was willing to give the benefit of the doubt when she said he was "Super-Fine". So, I relayed the info to my 9-month old friend, she seemed enthusiastic. That was Saturday, so today I sent her a follow email asking if she was still interested. The reply I got back, was not expected; the longest email ever explaining her Gay-ness and how she never told me because I would a) freak out; b) never hang with her, again; and c) I didn't seem like the type that would accept Homosexuals.
WHAT?!?
She ended the letter, so sadly, hoping that she, me, and my boyfriend (ha--if I still have one after that Valentine remark) could still hang out because she really loves my company.
Okay, has she met Daniel? Better, has she met me? True, I only know Gay boys but I open to a Lesbian friend...I'm Equal Opportunity over here--all applicants may apply.
What Have I done?
I told my wonderful boyfriend of 7 months that Valentine's Day was an Elementary School Holiday. All he did was fish for ideas to celebrate and that was my reply. Can you blame him, that it has been 4 hours since and he has not replied? Eeek! I am the biggest hopeless romantic when it comes to good romance. I hate cheesy over-the-top stuffed white teddy bears holding balloon hearts that say; " I love you" on them. I really hate red roses. You cannot find a good, sensible V-day card that isn't yelling: I love you, all over it.
Don't get me wrong, I want to celebrate because last year, I was single and in the years past, I have been victim to the cheesiest V-day plans a guy could make. One year, my ex got me this lingerie gown from Victoria's Secret--which was beautiful--but for me? You're reading about a tee shirt and boxers girl right here. My version of sexy lingerie is a matching bra and panty set. He should have known; then that same year we went out to eat at a Japanese restaurant. I dislike Japanese food and told him way before this date, in hopes that he would never take me to Kabuki, again. I know, the day is not all about me, but come on. Plus, I really hate to toot my own horn but this is a blog, so...I am a really good gift giver.
This means, that his gift from me, was far better than the VS gown. I gave him 100 red lollipops in a glass canister, but wrapped around each lollipop stick was a memory of us or some reason I loved* him. I typed up each little message, cut them into strips, and tied each one on 100 lollipops. Uh-huh. Let's also add that we so broke up before those suckers were all eaten, uhm hmm, so let's talk waste...motherfucker didn't even appreciate the gift and the labor of love** when he opened it. He was like; "huh, okay, thanks" and then preceded to expect me to jump up and down over a VS gown and authentic Japanese food. No way, Jose. Maybe God is showing him how to appreciate nowadays.
So with that story said; you may be able to sympathize with me when I tried to curtail my current beau into not doing anything extravagant or over the top. But, see I may also have put myself in a "No Valentine's for You" corner with my big mouth.
* ha ha
** ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
(if I don't laugh, who will?)
Don't get me wrong, I want to celebrate because last year, I was single and in the years past, I have been victim to the cheesiest V-day plans a guy could make. One year, my ex got me this lingerie gown from Victoria's Secret--which was beautiful--but for me? You're reading about a tee shirt and boxers girl right here. My version of sexy lingerie is a matching bra and panty set. He should have known; then that same year we went out to eat at a Japanese restaurant. I dislike Japanese food and told him way before this date, in hopes that he would never take me to Kabuki, again. I know, the day is not all about me, but come on. Plus, I really hate to toot my own horn but this is a blog, so...I am a really good gift giver.
This means, that his gift from me, was far better than the VS gown. I gave him 100 red lollipops in a glass canister, but wrapped around each lollipop stick was a memory of us or some reason I loved* him. I typed up each little message, cut them into strips, and tied each one on 100 lollipops. Uh-huh. Let's also add that we so broke up before those suckers were all eaten, uhm hmm, so let's talk waste...motherfucker didn't even appreciate the gift and the labor of love** when he opened it. He was like; "huh, okay, thanks" and then preceded to expect me to jump up and down over a VS gown and authentic Japanese food. No way, Jose. Maybe God is showing him how to appreciate nowadays.
So with that story said; you may be able to sympathize with me when I tried to curtail my current beau into not doing anything extravagant or over the top. But, see I may also have put myself in a "No Valentine's for You" corner with my big mouth.
* ha ha
** ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
(if I don't laugh, who will?)
Monday, January 17
Baby Bump?
I am quite certain Jennifer Garner is pregnant, first the rush to the hospital (back problems?!?) and then there was that dress she wore last night. Ruffles hiding a bump, hmm...and was it just me or was her face just a bit pudgy?
Friday, January 14
Mama Drama
It seems that a lot of people are writing about the daily encounters they have with really bad drivers on the road.
Gee, I hope they don't live in Dallas. I'm okay to admit that I am a bad driver, its one of the things that I really lack skills for. My first car wreck, a week out of Driver's Ed, should have been the warning. I talk on my cell phone, change lanes a lot, make turns without my blinker warning, listen to my radio really loud, take wide turns, and yes, I do drive a SUV. Sue me. I don't have kids, I'm not hauling anything over 50 lbs, and I don't live in on a rural piece of land, and I drive a big car--supposedly I am what those people are hating. Go ahead, give me the finger and yell at me while you pass me by--I cannot hear you. Does it help, that I am working at being better, the new tires were the first step and believe it or not have helped a lot.
In the same related news: My mom told me that for our trip to Austin together we are getting a rental car. Huh? I live 3 hours north of Austin, it'll be a tank of gas each way (maybe). She specifically told me to ask Incredible* to get a rental car for our trip because, are you ready for this, her reason was not because she didn't want to put the miles on my car or that she didn't want to chance any mechanical problems, but that she would like some entertainment, in the form of a CD player (oh and if I can get a DVD player, that would be great)
Say, what?
As her, ever witty daughter and great story teller (me) are not enough. Have I mentioned, I never see her--she lives in Phoenix, for F*'s sake. Shouldn't she be glad to be stuck in a car with me that has no CD player to bond with me?
What does this say about me? Better, yet wouldn't you think that that should prompt her to buy me a CD player?
*he works for a rental car company. He does not rent the cars out, not that there is anything wrong with that, he is an accountant. Gee, as I type that I have to wonder which sounds more exciting?
I promise you he is a very funny and personable accountant--not that accountants aren't, but the ones that I know are very void of personality and seem to have no idea what is happening in pop culture.
I'm shutting up now, before the Association of CPA's comes down on my ass.
Gee, I hope they don't live in Dallas. I'm okay to admit that I am a bad driver, its one of the things that I really lack skills for. My first car wreck, a week out of Driver's Ed, should have been the warning. I talk on my cell phone, change lanes a lot, make turns without my blinker warning, listen to my radio really loud, take wide turns, and yes, I do drive a SUV. Sue me. I don't have kids, I'm not hauling anything over 50 lbs, and I don't live in on a rural piece of land, and I drive a big car--supposedly I am what those people are hating. Go ahead, give me the finger and yell at me while you pass me by--I cannot hear you. Does it help, that I am working at being better, the new tires were the first step and believe it or not have helped a lot.
In the same related news: My mom told me that for our trip to Austin together we are getting a rental car. Huh? I live 3 hours north of Austin, it'll be a tank of gas each way (maybe). She specifically told me to ask Incredible* to get a rental car for our trip because, are you ready for this, her reason was not because she didn't want to put the miles on my car or that she didn't want to chance any mechanical problems, but that she would like some entertainment, in the form of a CD player (oh and if I can get a DVD player, that would be great)
Say, what?
As her, ever witty daughter and great story teller (me) are not enough. Have I mentioned, I never see her--she lives in Phoenix, for F*'s sake. Shouldn't she be glad to be stuck in a car with me that has no CD player to bond with me?
What does this say about me? Better, yet wouldn't you think that that should prompt her to buy me a CD player?
*he works for a rental car company. He does not rent the cars out, not that there is anything wrong with that, he is an accountant. Gee, as I type that I have to wonder which sounds more exciting?
I promise you he is a very funny and personable accountant--not that accountants aren't, but the ones that I know are very void of personality and seem to have no idea what is happening in pop culture.
I'm shutting up now, before the Association of CPA's comes down on my ass.
Thursday, January 13
My Love Don't Cost a Thing
Hold up, wait a minute someone else in the universe thinks J-Lo is hot. I completely agree with this list, a bit teetering on Penelope Cruz not being hot--but since this girl and I are on the same wavelength, I'll let that slide. Yeah, for those of you that stayed after I declared my love for Eminem, you may want to pack your bags now because I do think Jennifer Lopez is hot. I'm not gay, not that there is anything wrong with that. I thought I was one of the few on this planet that genuinely like her, much less thought she was hot. I don't care how many times she gets married or that she is married to Marc Anthony--who in my of, is good looking in his own Spanglish way. The man can sing. She is very pretty and she has a body, that well, rocks. I'd kill for her body. It's just right--not model anorexic thin and not roly poly big. She made it alright for us girls with a big back porch, the new thing. Hurray for Jenny from the Block. I like her, always will. Yes, I saw Gigli and it was okay--not horrid, not Oscar-worthy, but okay. Put your comment in the box below, like I know you will.
Is it Inauguration time, yet?
I had a scary dream that Eminem and I were dating or married. That's not the scary part because, well, uhm, how do I put this without losing both my readers... I think Eminem is hot. There! I said it and I don't care what the Internet backlash is---I heart him. Have you seen him in his glasses? Have you, huh? He is one piece of hotness. I like his music as well because I think he is genius when it comes to rapping what he is really feeling. Anyways in the dream, we were together and all was right with the world. I was about 4 or 5 months pregnant too. Let me tell you, I was rocking the designer maternity wear like you would not believe. I was a great step-mama to Hailey and the papparazzi loved me and I loved them. Uh huh. Everywhere were went, we had to take bodyguards (as you would if you dated Eminem) because we were being chased by a very angry and intense George W that wanted Em dead! Just as I saw a bullet spiraling towards us, I woke up in a panicked sweat, realizing I need to let the election results go.
Morgan, Shut Up!
The TV was good to me, last night. LOST delivered an edge of seat episode which left me jumping for joy that they finally got the guts to kill off a main character and just as I was at that peak of enthusiasm , JJ Abrams took it away because Shannon is not dead and that was just Boone's drugged imagination feeling relieved. What the heck? Can someone explain this to me, please? I've read so many theories on that show, I don't know which to believe. Great news: I have finally given up on Alias (GASP). That show's shark has jumped. I tuned in for the first episode and its the same old, same old: the family that lies together and keeps on lying is the family that stays together, gets pissy for lies being told to them, then forgives, and is going to continue lying to the new sister, see how confusing that is? I just don't need it. Toodle-loo.
Are you still with me, so that we can discuss Project: Runway and how hideous Austin's gown was. It was a peacock's dream wedding dress. Am I to believe that it was so not his fault because he had to do what that model wanted? Designer Intervention could/should have happened. Thank you Amsale and Michael for not kicking Austin off because I have not seen enough polyester and make-up on this boy, yet. I'm calling Kara Saun out as the final winner, right now. She and her all her designs rock.
If I could ask the producers for two suggestions, it would be: Can we please have a picture in picture during the Runway Show, big picture of the designs and small insert of the judges because Heidi and the judges initial reactions to the designs are priceless. More Tim, please. I cannot get enough of him and his sly, remarks disguised as suggestions.
Are you still with me, so that we can discuss Project: Runway and how hideous Austin's gown was. It was a peacock's dream wedding dress. Am I to believe that it was so not his fault because he had to do what that model wanted? Designer Intervention could/should have happened. Thank you Amsale and Michael for not kicking Austin off because I have not seen enough polyester and make-up on this boy, yet. I'm calling Kara Saun out as the final winner, right now. She and her all her designs rock.
If I could ask the producers for two suggestions, it would be: Can we please have a picture in picture during the Runway Show, big picture of the designs and small insert of the judges because Heidi and the judges initial reactions to the designs are priceless. More Tim, please. I cannot get enough of him and his sly, remarks disguised as suggestions.
Can You Keep Up
I'm convinced Michelle Williams is being forced to stay with Destiny's Child in an iron clad contract or something. I love Destiny's Child and always have--since day one and throughout all the scandals. This morning I got to thinking as I was singing along with the radio on my morning commute. Michelle is singing about finding some thug love on "Soldier", uh-uh, something is rotten in Denmark.
Bootylicious Beyonce and Dilemma Kelly, I can see. Beyonce and Kelly are dating Jay-Z and Cowboy Williams, respectively, establishing their need to be with that boy that carries big things, if you know what I mean. Michelle? No way. I am not buying into that. She was/is a successful gospel singer and she headlined Aida on Broadway. All I can picture is Beyonce and Kelly telling Michelle what to sing and how she will sing it because well, they need her soulful choir like voice and seriously, they cannot lose another member. So, when Michelle sings that her boy is dismissed because he couldn't get her 'sprung' I just cannot believe that.
Bootylicious Beyonce and Dilemma Kelly, I can see. Beyonce and Kelly are dating Jay-Z and Cowboy Williams, respectively, establishing their need to be with that boy that carries big things, if you know what I mean. Michelle? No way. I am not buying into that. She was/is a successful gospel singer and she headlined Aida on Broadway. All I can picture is Beyonce and Kelly telling Michelle what to sing and how she will sing it because well, they need her soulful choir like voice and seriously, they cannot lose another member. So, when Michelle sings that her boy is dismissed because he couldn't get her 'sprung' I just cannot believe that.
Wednesday, January 12
ENOUGH!
Jennifer and Brad are over. Yes, it is sad. Yes, they were known as the Golden Couple. No, they are not the first happy-on-the-surface marriage to break up. Yes, there are other Hollywood couples that are still together and may I add, have been married longer than Brad and Jen have known each other.
I've had it up to here, with all this talk. Whose fault is it? Will they get back together? Who will Brad date, now that he is no longer with Jennifer Aniston?
WHAT?
I believe the question should be: Who will Jennifer date?
I know this next sentence will get me some hate mail. (Bring it) She is not that pretty. If you think she is, please email me and with that email please also list who else you think is pretty so I can stack it up.
There was nothing special about her, except she brought on the biggest hair cut phenomena of the 90's. Whatever. My point is, he is freaking Brad Pitt and he can find a ton of ladies better looking than her, that I am sure, will be happy to make babies with him. But...Can she find plenty of men as hot as he? While you are thinking about that, I am LMAO because I know, as we all will know, it won't get better than Brad. Wha ha ha ha ha ah!
So, can we just stop all the talk about it because frankly, I was more upset when Luke and Laura called it quits.
I've had it up to here, with all this talk. Whose fault is it? Will they get back together? Who will Brad date, now that he is no longer with Jennifer Aniston?
WHAT?
I believe the question should be: Who will Jennifer date?
I know this next sentence will get me some hate mail. (Bring it) She is not that pretty. If you think she is, please email me and with that email please also list who else you think is pretty so I can stack it up.
There was nothing special about her, except she brought on the biggest hair cut phenomena of the 90's. Whatever. My point is, he is freaking Brad Pitt and he can find a ton of ladies better looking than her, that I am sure, will be happy to make babies with him. But...Can she find plenty of men as hot as he? While you are thinking about that, I am LMAO because I know, as we all will know, it won't get better than Brad. Wha ha ha ha ha ah!
So, can we just stop all the talk about it because frankly, I was more upset when Luke and Laura called it quits.
They've got Cooties
Is it just me or was it about time that a Real World house was inflicted with body lice? Seriously, I'm shocked a scabies scare (or something similar) hasn't happened sooner.
They all sleep in each others beds and use the same sex-infested shower stalls, plus Sarah told us that they are filthy pigs. I'm with Karamo on this one, who gets that in 2004? C'mon!
If I were the other remaining 6 roomies, I would have left to the nearest hotel until they shacked us up in some new disinfected digs, where everything was cleaned in Clorox bleach so much that I could breathe bleach.
Can we discuss Queer Eye over on Bravo? because I was a couch potato last night while my boyfriend was having duels at the bar. One, last night was the first time I ever cried over a reality program. First time. I don't cry over Extreme House Makeover like the rest of my friends. Last night even the Fab Five were in tears over a soldier being deployed for a year and a half; leaving his bride and baby. It was tear-jerking BUT then they premiered QE for the Straight Gal-all I can say is: ewwwwwww! Why oh why did they give her a Banana Republic makeover? Not that BR is bad, I love the Banana but she did not have the body for it--oops, is that bad? What I meant is that they gave her clothes that were not flattering to her figure, not one bit. Those brown boots were not all that! (snap) They didn't even bother to give her a proper makeover. Her apartment looked great when they were through but she just looked like she was going to work with a new shade of lipstick on. Instead of going to work she went to HURRY-DATE! That's where the fun and laughs really began. If you can catch the repeat, please do and you will know what I mean when I say, "HURRY-DATE"
On the same subject, Project: Runway is back!! Yahoo and designing wedding gowns--oy can we feed my wedding fever anymore, people? As if the InStyle Wedding Edition in my mailbox was not enough. Apparently not, because I have two copies of that InStyle. Yes, I do. (hee hee) I went to Target last night on a mission to buy a dual alarm clock because waking at Incredible's 6:30 AM start time and resetting the alarm for my 7:30 start time messes up my morning person personality all the way to non-existent. I left Target with an InStyle Wedding magazine and two bags of Lindt's White Chocolate Truffles (da'bomb); no dual alarm clock. In my non-engaged defense I am the Maid of Honor in one of the Erin's wedding this year and ideas are needed; also the truffles were 2 bags for $4--who could pass that? They are usually $2.50 a bag, so I saved a dollar. To my surprise when I got home, there was an InStyle Weddings in my mailbox--say what? Yeah, I forgot that I signed up for the mega InStyle subscription when I renewed. That means that I get all the extra publications, such as Homes, Makeovers, and apparently Weddings. Lucky, me. Now, I have two and I read that puppy front to back last night, no shame, day-dreaming about my future (?) wedding to Mike Tyson.
They all sleep in each others beds and use the same sex-infested shower stalls, plus Sarah told us that they are filthy pigs. I'm with Karamo on this one, who gets that in 2004? C'mon!
If I were the other remaining 6 roomies, I would have left to the nearest hotel until they shacked us up in some new disinfected digs, where everything was cleaned in Clorox bleach so much that I could breathe bleach.
Can we discuss Queer Eye over on Bravo? because I was a couch potato last night while my boyfriend was having duels at the bar. One, last night was the first time I ever cried over a reality program. First time. I don't cry over Extreme House Makeover like the rest of my friends. Last night even the Fab Five were in tears over a soldier being deployed for a year and a half; leaving his bride and baby. It was tear-jerking BUT then they premiered QE for the Straight Gal-all I can say is: ewwwwwww! Why oh why did they give her a Banana Republic makeover? Not that BR is bad, I love the Banana but she did not have the body for it--oops, is that bad? What I meant is that they gave her clothes that were not flattering to her figure, not one bit. Those brown boots were not all that! (snap) They didn't even bother to give her a proper makeover. Her apartment looked great when they were through but she just looked like she was going to work with a new shade of lipstick on. Instead of going to work she went to HURRY-DATE! That's where the fun and laughs really began. If you can catch the repeat, please do and you will know what I mean when I say, "HURRY-DATE"
On the same subject, Project: Runway is back!! Yahoo and designing wedding gowns--oy can we feed my wedding fever anymore, people? As if the InStyle Wedding Edition in my mailbox was not enough. Apparently not, because I have two copies of that InStyle. Yes, I do. (hee hee) I went to Target last night on a mission to buy a dual alarm clock because waking at Incredible's 6:30 AM start time and resetting the alarm for my 7:30 start time messes up my morning person personality all the way to non-existent. I left Target with an InStyle Wedding magazine and two bags of Lindt's White Chocolate Truffles (da'bomb); no dual alarm clock. In my non-engaged defense I am the Maid of Honor in one of the Erin's wedding this year and ideas are needed; also the truffles were 2 bags for $4--who could pass that? They are usually $2.50 a bag, so I saved a dollar. To my surprise when I got home, there was an InStyle Weddings in my mailbox--say what? Yeah, I forgot that I signed up for the mega InStyle subscription when I renewed. That means that I get all the extra publications, such as Homes, Makeovers, and apparently Weddings. Lucky, me. Now, I have two and I read that puppy front to back last night, no shame, day-dreaming about my future (?) wedding to Mike Tyson.
Tuesday, January 11
Ask and You Shall Receive
I'm here to tell you that tires are the best Christmas present ever. I'm mad that I didn't think of it for Christmas' pasts. It's like I have a new car. This year when my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I decided to go the practical route and say something that I needed more than anything but knew I would never shell out the cash for, not because I am cheap but have you seen the costs of tires lately? I could buy ten new outfits or buy a round trip plane ticket in the Continental U.S and let's face those are much more useful. What can I say, I like tangible gifts. Little did I know that those tires were better than I thought.
New tires rock my Explorer's world. We are now zipping on and off the freeway, weaving in and out of traffic, driving like regular folks when it rains (instead of impersonating a senior citizen driving at 30 mph on the highway). It is amazing what those tires have done. They invoke so much self confidence for me on the road. I'm ready to drive to Plano and back. That is far, believe me, not so much far as I just don't go there, but with the new wheels, I am willing to consider a half hour day trip.
New tires rock my Explorer's world. We are now zipping on and off the freeway, weaving in and out of traffic, driving like regular folks when it rains (instead of impersonating a senior citizen driving at 30 mph on the highway). It is amazing what those tires have done. They invoke so much self confidence for me on the road. I'm ready to drive to Plano and back. That is far, believe me, not so much far as I just don't go there, but with the new wheels, I am willing to consider a half hour day trip.
Bonjour Fabrice
The decision was not so hard; as "24" (another 2 blissful hours of hotness Kiefer) started at 7:00 Central and "Jen's Gonna Find a Man" 2-hour premiered at 8:00 Central--I got my 2 hours of Terrorist Mommy Forcing Terrorist Son to kill his girlfriend then switched to see the last hour of the Bachelorette. What an hour that was---one contender showed off his strength and carried Jen down a flight of stairs; Kentucky boy got really hammered and scared the beejeezus out of Jen's friends (personally I thought it made him more fun); and one is a full of himself hottie from France--fully equipped with a French accent. Oui. Just when I thought it couldn't get any cheesier, Jen's best friends/Spies Like Us waitresses seal Jen's nervousness by telling her "Your husband is this room"
Oh My Gawd. That's going to be my new go-get-him tiger mantra for all my girls when we are at the bar. By the clips of the rest of the season, this Bachelorette is sure to bring on the drama, big city style.
Oh My Gawd. That's going to be my new go-get-him tiger mantra for all my girls when we are at the bar. By the clips of the rest of the season, this Bachelorette is sure to bring on the drama, big city style.
Monday, January 10
Woe is Me
As if the Ex Finding God/Getting Married wasn't enough, I just realized that tonight I have to choose between Jen, the Bachelorette versus Keifer "Hotter when Older" Sutherland on "24"?!?!
What is the world coming to? You can imagine my retail therapy is now on raincheck as I need to go straight home and let the vino decide what show we shall give the rating to tonight. Any ideas?
I feel as if I need to give in to Kiefer because last night like a dumbass took over my body, I went out and totally thought that FOX was like the the other normal stations and was to air "24" 2-hour premiere at eight (central)...ha ha ha joke's on me because the News at Nine channel served up that baby at 7:00 PM, while I was at the Super Target. It was not a pretty sight when I came home and turned on the television at 7:55, motherf*er, I missed an hour--the most crucial hour, the first hour--only my fellow "24" geeks can understand.
ROFL--ha ha I said my fellow "24" geeks, as if I understand one thing that is happening on the show, I have to call a friend to decode the language of Government/Terrorist talk--they watch it because the show is really good, I watch it because I am President of my very own Keifer Sutherland Fan Club. (Speaking of Prez's, what the Hell happened to my favorite first Black President Palmer?)
As I mentioned before, I am watching this season's "Jen is Gonna Find a Man" because it's in New York City and I cannot think of a better place to fall in love than NYC. As if, she really is going to fall in love but I will buy into the ABC crap and think so.
You probably are thinking: Record one, watch the other. Hmph, my days of living in a 2 television household are gone. I cannot decide what type/brand/size of new television to buy, there are too many decisions out there and I am secretly hoping that Incredible just moves in already so I will not have to make the decision and can spend that ca$h on a much needed outfit.
What is the world coming to? You can imagine my retail therapy is now on raincheck as I need to go straight home and let the vino decide what show we shall give the rating to tonight. Any ideas?
I feel as if I need to give in to Kiefer because last night like a dumbass took over my body, I went out and totally thought that FOX was like the the other normal stations and was to air "24" 2-hour premiere at eight (central)...ha ha ha joke's on me because the News at Nine channel served up that baby at 7:00 PM, while I was at the Super Target. It was not a pretty sight when I came home and turned on the television at 7:55, motherf*er, I missed an hour--the most crucial hour, the first hour--only my fellow "24" geeks can understand.
ROFL--ha ha I said my fellow "24" geeks, as if I understand one thing that is happening on the show, I have to call a friend to decode the language of Government/Terrorist talk--they watch it because the show is really good, I watch it because I am President of my very own Keifer Sutherland Fan Club. (Speaking of Prez's, what the Hell happened to my favorite first Black President Palmer?)
As I mentioned before, I am watching this season's "Jen is Gonna Find a Man" because it's in New York City and I cannot think of a better place to fall in love than NYC. As if, she really is going to fall in love but I will buy into the ABC crap and think so.
You probably are thinking: Record one, watch the other. Hmph, my days of living in a 2 television household are gone. I cannot decide what type/brand/size of new television to buy, there are too many decisions out there and I am secretly hoping that Incredible just moves in already so I will not have to make the decision and can spend that ca$h on a much needed outfit.
I must've been the Devil
Today I received the most unexpected email, my ex-boyfriend of three years decided that he would email me the preview edition of his Newsletter, with the headliner being, hold onto your butt: He is getting married and he has also found God. You'd think I'd be upset over the marriage news, uhm hmm, I could care less, but he found GOD? Is he kidding me?
Let me explain to you, I am not an atheist but neither am I the good girl Catholic in church every Sunday ,that I was baptized to be. Dating him never brought on any huge "Is there really a God" discussions or debates. I was cool with him being who he was and being atheist was only a small part of him. My point is: I never tried to change him.
His new fiance did and I bet she is damn proud of her accomplishment of converting him. Since the day he met her (wait, she is a minister and you can guess heavily involved in her non-denomination Christian church. I'm not judging--to each their own) she kept on him to accept God and he would tell me (yeah because we were 'friends' up to a point) that their relationship would never go far because of her holiness and that he would never accept something he didn't believe. What gets me, really, is how the email is written, please don't hate as I try to explain. It was written like, well you know the type--how he is so at peace, God is his savior, life is better for him, their relationship means more because its based on faith and they are not intimate (hee hee--that must mean he hasn't had sex in forever) until they marry, blah, blah, blah, oh and that he will pray for me that I find that kind of peace and happiness in my life.
No, thanks buddy. Just because I don't go to church every Sunday doesn't mean I don't have peace, loser, I have peace because I am no longer dating your sorry controlling ass--which apparently has turned into a whipped ass. Take that!
Tonight to celebrate, I will drink lots of wine after I shop till I drop because he has found the missing God. Funny, if he asked me, God was in my bedroom last night--multiple times.
Let me explain to you, I am not an atheist but neither am I the good girl Catholic in church every Sunday ,that I was baptized to be. Dating him never brought on any huge "Is there really a God" discussions or debates. I was cool with him being who he was and being atheist was only a small part of him. My point is: I never tried to change him.
His new fiance did and I bet she is damn proud of her accomplishment of converting him. Since the day he met her (wait, she is a minister and you can guess heavily involved in her non-denomination Christian church. I'm not judging--to each their own) she kept on him to accept God and he would tell me (yeah because we were 'friends' up to a point) that their relationship would never go far because of her holiness and that he would never accept something he didn't believe. What gets me, really, is how the email is written, please don't hate as I try to explain. It was written like, well you know the type--how he is so at peace, God is his savior, life is better for him, their relationship means more because its based on faith and they are not intimate (hee hee--that must mean he hasn't had sex in forever) until they marry, blah, blah, blah, oh and that he will pray for me that I find that kind of peace and happiness in my life.
No, thanks buddy. Just because I don't go to church every Sunday doesn't mean I don't have peace, loser, I have peace because I am no longer dating your sorry controlling ass--which apparently has turned into a whipped ass. Take that!
Tonight to celebrate, I will drink lots of wine after I shop till I drop because he has found the missing God. Funny, if he asked me, God was in my bedroom last night--multiple times.
Friday, January 7
Everyone is doing it
Is everyone going back to school? It seems like it, everyone I know is going to Grad school this year except me. I decided I am way too lazy to go back to school and the promises of making more money once I graduate aren't motivation enough. Is that just me?
I cannot pick up a book for educational purposes anymore and I like my spare time. All those weekends and week nights when I was racking in hours at the school library while an undergrad did me in and I deserve my mediocre paying job, free nights and weekends to do absolutely nothing.
My mom would be so proud...of all my friends.
I cannot pick up a book for educational purposes anymore and I like my spare time. All those weekends and week nights when I was racking in hours at the school library while an undergrad did me in and I deserve my mediocre paying job, free nights and weekends to do absolutely nothing.
My mom would be so proud...of all my friends.
The things I think of, oy.
3 hours of Must See TV, four sopapillas, and Incredible= one rocking Thursday night.
Let me just say, before last night I had only seen one episode of "Joey" and one was enough, but it drew a dilemma because I like Drea DeMatteo and Jennifer Coolidge but I have always, always hated Joey--even on Friends. I hated Friends (the later years) mostly because of Joey. Every so often if I am channel surfing and Drea or Jennifer are on the scene, I watch it, for like a minute and change channel. Last night, oh goodness, yipee, Lucy Liu was on. Lucy Liu is the shiznik. I watched the entire show and then NBC had me for the entire night. Oh, crap, I forget I am an "us" now. It had us for the entire night.
Can I share how great it is to be an 'us' with Incredible--during the first commercial break of Committed (very funny, but I see a cancellation in its future) I got a huge craving for a sopapilla, not just any, but a Chuy's sopapilla. Quel Horrer--Chuy's! It was 30 degrees outside and there was no way that I was going to put on a coat, scarf, hat, and mittens for a 10 minute drive to Chuy's--no way, Jose; not when there is quality TV on (as if) but Incredible did, he went out in the freezing cold while I stayed in keeping the couch warm. I am loving him so much right now. Then I was loving him more as we laid pretzled into each other on the couch watching Will and Grace ("Spanglish is Spanish for English"--Gosh I love Jack) and scary Medium--yes, I was a tiny bit scared. My attention kept going back to thinking how cute we must have looked on that couch all entwined and feeding each other Mexican dessert. Sickening, isn't it? Then I kept thinking about different positions on that couch whereas we would look cuter and twisted my body so that we could get into that position and then BAM! It hit me, that no one is there to witness the cuteness of all that is in my head so I should just stop. I am so weird or do you catch yourself doing that exact same thing? I do it on more than one romantic occasion, I find myself doing it all the time---yeah, uhm hmm, and you bet your ass I look damn cute right now typing this up.
Let me just say, before last night I had only seen one episode of "Joey" and one was enough, but it drew a dilemma because I like Drea DeMatteo and Jennifer Coolidge but I have always, always hated Joey--even on Friends. I hated Friends (the later years) mostly because of Joey. Every so often if I am channel surfing and Drea or Jennifer are on the scene, I watch it, for like a minute and change channel. Last night, oh goodness, yipee, Lucy Liu was on. Lucy Liu is the shiznik. I watched the entire show and then NBC had me for the entire night. Oh, crap, I forget I am an "us" now. It had us for the entire night.
Can I share how great it is to be an 'us' with Incredible--during the first commercial break of Committed (very funny, but I see a cancellation in its future) I got a huge craving for a sopapilla, not just any, but a Chuy's sopapilla. Quel Horrer--Chuy's! It was 30 degrees outside and there was no way that I was going to put on a coat, scarf, hat, and mittens for a 10 minute drive to Chuy's--no way, Jose; not when there is quality TV on (as if) but Incredible did, he went out in the freezing cold while I stayed in keeping the couch warm. I am loving him so much right now. Then I was loving him more as we laid pretzled into each other on the couch watching Will and Grace ("Spanglish is Spanish for English"--Gosh I love Jack) and scary Medium--yes, I was a tiny bit scared. My attention kept going back to thinking how cute we must have looked on that couch all entwined and feeding each other Mexican dessert. Sickening, isn't it? Then I kept thinking about different positions on that couch whereas we would look cuter and twisted my body so that we could get into that position and then BAM! It hit me, that no one is there to witness the cuteness of all that is in my head so I should just stop. I am so weird or do you catch yourself doing that exact same thing? I do it on more than one romantic occasion, I find myself doing it all the time---yeah, uhm hmm, and you bet your ass I look damn cute right now typing this up.
Thursday, January 6
Say it Ain't So...
Please let the gossip/rumor mill be wrong...this just in: Jennifer Garner may be pregnant.
OH GAWD PLEASE, NO. I really hope she just ate too much turkey and stuffing this Holiday.
I already cannot stand the overexposed American Sweetheart. If she truly is preggars, tabloids will run amock and US Weekly is sure to have pregnant "bump" photos every week for our viewing pleasure
OH GAWD PLEASE, NO. I really hope she just ate too much turkey and stuffing this Holiday.
I already cannot stand the overexposed American Sweetheart. If she truly is preggars, tabloids will run amock and US Weekly is sure to have pregnant "bump" photos every week for our viewing pleasure
Call me old fashioned
This maybe just me because I am weird like this but I am scared of things like NetFlix. Explanation: It's more like I am scared when the future brings us more convenience.
I'm weird. Is it just me or do you miss the carefree days when you had to get up off your butt to rent a movie and grocery shop? Now are the days of the future where these things are delivered to you.
Before you get all smarty and ask if I order anything online; the answer is yes, I do but only items I cannot walk into a store and buy. Video rentals and groceries are available no matter.
Isn't one of the pleasures of renting a video is actually wandering the store for an infinite amount of time searching for the right flick to watch? Yes, that new release may not be in stock and on any given weekend/rainy night the lines are long--but isn't that the point? Call me weird, but that is my simple pleasure in crowds. I love going to the store, going through a decision process (rent two or just get the one? Classic or New Release? Should I wait till its on HBO?) while other renters stand before me reading the backs of DVD's. I love spending an hour going through a list at the grocery store while secretly people watching other people shopping. When I lock eyes with other shoppers, I feel as if we both know we are in this club together on that certain day, whether we want to be or not, we are hungry grocery shoppers and we will be damned if our bags come delivered because we ordered on the internet.
**Let me add, I think those services are great for people who cannot make it out of the house. I don't want any hate mail.
I'm weird. Is it just me or do you miss the carefree days when you had to get up off your butt to rent a movie and grocery shop? Now are the days of the future where these things are delivered to you.
Before you get all smarty and ask if I order anything online; the answer is yes, I do but only items I cannot walk into a store and buy. Video rentals and groceries are available no matter.
Isn't one of the pleasures of renting a video is actually wandering the store for an infinite amount of time searching for the right flick to watch? Yes, that new release may not be in stock and on any given weekend/rainy night the lines are long--but isn't that the point? Call me weird, but that is my simple pleasure in crowds. I love going to the store, going through a decision process (rent two or just get the one? Classic or New Release? Should I wait till its on HBO?) while other renters stand before me reading the backs of DVD's. I love spending an hour going through a list at the grocery store while secretly people watching other people shopping. When I lock eyes with other shoppers, I feel as if we both know we are in this club together on that certain day, whether we want to be or not, we are hungry grocery shoppers and we will be damned if our bags come delivered because we ordered on the internet.
**Let me add, I think those services are great for people who cannot make it out of the house. I don't want any hate mail.
Wednesday, January 5
She's Baaaaaaaaaaack
ARGH. ABC's attempt to get men to tune into Alias and the Bachelorette last night was on complete overload. When I watch football I don't expect my TV to be flooded with girly show promo disguised in a masculine commercial--no thanks, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut it may have worked because I am so tuning into this season's the Bachelorette. Why, you ask. Not because I am sick of it (which I am, seriously) but because this season it's in NEW YORK CITY. Shallow, me love that city and think that the show will be so much more bearable while Jen attempts to fall in love the second time around in NYC. Which reminds me, is anyone else upset that they decided to bring her back? She won the final rose and Andrew Firestone, lived with him and everything, then went on and dated Apprentice Bill Rancic---now, I ask you: whose fault is it that she cannot keep a man? Now, ABC wants to give her a second chance. PUHLEEZE. How about the girl that lost (Meredith, Trista) or, wait here's an idea: a completely new woman we have not met before! Figure that.
ARGH. But I will watch, like I said only because they are in NYC and the group of hotties chasing her tail are only secondary.
ARGH. But I will watch, like I said only because they are in NYC and the group of hotties chasing her tail are only secondary.
Boo Hoo
Please feel sorry for me as one team showed up for practice and the other showed up to play, too bad it was OU practicing. Last night I recieved about twenty text messages that went from Pep Rally to Funeral...it was so sad. Enough said.
Tuesday, January 4
They Lied to US
GAP said and when I say "said" I mean they emailed me a dozen times letting me know that if my subtotal is $75 or over; they will ship for FREE and that this offer would be over on December 31, 2004. Then they followed through and sent about a dozen emails reminding me of the joyous event. Then as if it was the last day on Earth (well, the last one of this year); they sent a final email telling me it was the last day to cash in on FREE shipping.
You know I bypassed because:
1. It's not like there is not a million (8) GAPs in the city of Dallas for me to drive to and get FREE shipping on any subtotal whether it be $10 or a $97 subtotal (that's what I actually spent).
2. Did you know you can order anything in the store and they send it to you FREE. Uh huh. Anything. If you see it online and its not in a store near you, ask the manager and they will look it up and order it for you for FREE. Well, not exactly anything because when I say anything, you know its anything, but when the GAP says "anything"; they actually mean anything not seen on Sarah Jessica Parker.
Guess what sat in my inbox today, just guess, you'll never believe but get this; not only is the Spring Preview in online but if you order "anything" and the subtotal is $75 or over---Get this...they will ship it to you for FREE and yes, my dear friends, it is 2005.
You know I bypassed because:
1. It's not like there is not a million (8) GAPs in the city of Dallas for me to drive to and get FREE shipping on any subtotal whether it be $10 or a $97 subtotal (that's what I actually spent).
2. Did you know you can order anything in the store and they send it to you FREE. Uh huh. Anything. If you see it online and its not in a store near you, ask the manager and they will look it up and order it for you for FREE. Well, not exactly anything because when I say anything, you know its anything, but when the GAP says "anything"; they actually mean anything not seen on Sarah Jessica Parker.
Guess what sat in my inbox today, just guess, you'll never believe but get this; not only is the Spring Preview in online but if you order "anything" and the subtotal is $75 or over---Get this...they will ship it to you for FREE and yes, my dear friends, it is 2005.
Lucky vs. Shop, Etc.
We are talking magazines here, today, and if you shop you may be able to relate. I have been a faithful Lucky subscriber for over 2 years and as the years went on, the items in Lucky have become more and more expensive.
I remember the good old days when I could open Lucky and there was a whole spread on dresses under $100--evening, day, career, and cocktail dresses all under 100 pops! Now all that grace the pages are designer items and dresses that are way over 100 big ones. My little yes tags have been replaced with "if I can afford" or "if I don't pay rent this month" sticker tags. Now I have discovered Shop, Etc. Shop, Etc is brand new but lacks the fun little stickers and is right where Lucky was years ago, sporting affordable clothing for the Average Jane with a low disposable income, uhm hmm.
What makes it better, is that the magazine is clearly divided into 3 sections: Fashion, Home, and Beauty. YIPEE! Lucky has long forgotten the days when they would showcase someone's tiny one bedroom apartment in affordable housing goods. Now, that there is some competition out there, will Lucky change back to what made it so great to begin with or will I have to kill more trees and add another magazine to the pile that graces my mailbox every month?
I remember the good old days when I could open Lucky and there was a whole spread on dresses under $100--evening, day, career, and cocktail dresses all under 100 pops! Now all that grace the pages are designer items and dresses that are way over 100 big ones. My little yes tags have been replaced with "if I can afford" or "if I don't pay rent this month" sticker tags. Now I have discovered Shop, Etc. Shop, Etc is brand new but lacks the fun little stickers and is right where Lucky was years ago, sporting affordable clothing for the Average Jane with a low disposable income, uhm hmm.
What makes it better, is that the magazine is clearly divided into 3 sections: Fashion, Home, and Beauty. YIPEE! Lucky has long forgotten the days when they would showcase someone's tiny one bedroom apartment in affordable housing goods. Now, that there is some competition out there, will Lucky change back to what made it so great to begin with or will I have to kill more trees and add another magazine to the pile that graces my mailbox every month?
About Last Night
I survived and began this morning with the following prayer:
Please, please let Oklahoma win the Orange Bowl. I have been a very good girlfriend (and OU supporter) and deserve to have a happy boyfriend.
If OU loses this game, the rest of my month is sure to go to shit, every conversation we have will sure to be what they could have done better or how they were robbed--whatever the case will be.
I never use my prayers for sports, but just this one time, please please let them win. If they lose, there is no amount of sex that I can give that will cure the hangover of defeat that I am sure he will suffer.
If you let them win, I will be the best girlfriend ever from this day forward and I will never ever make fun of a Boomer Sooner ever again.
Amen
Please, please let Oklahoma win the Orange Bowl. I have been a very good girlfriend (and OU supporter) and deserve to have a happy boyfriend.
If OU loses this game, the rest of my month is sure to go to shit, every conversation we have will sure to be what they could have done better or how they were robbed--whatever the case will be.
I never use my prayers for sports, but just this one time, please please let them win. If they lose, there is no amount of sex that I can give that will cure the hangover of defeat that I am sure he will suffer.
If you let them win, I will be the best girlfriend ever from this day forward and I will never ever make fun of a Boomer Sooner ever again.
Amen
Monday, January 3
TLC Detox
On my days off, I reverted back to college days and spent the majority of the day watching TLC, only difference was I didn't have to skip class to watch "Wedding Story". Don't act like you didn't skip that one class too. Since I have graduated my fave waste time during the day channel has added some new shows and has revamped the classics.
As I sit here at work, I realize, I miss Perfect Proposal--as much as I hate the show, I miss hating on it. "Perfect Proposal" made me want to throw up. Every man on there went through the most elaborate scheme just to ask one question: Will you marry me? What the Hell happened to good old fashion romance? I guess we can give some cred to the guy who dressed up as a knight in shining armor, but can Host Nikki at least clue these guys in at the beginning of the scheming that maybe, just maybe, planting a ring in fish is not the right way to propose or she could have at least warned the fiance to be that having his future wife dig through sand in a wet bathing suit was not going to carry over on television so cutely.
Would I be a nerd if I started recording TLC during the day and can I ask why don't they play these shows at night instead of whatever crap they do show at night such as "Trading Spaces" (once a fan, now a hater), TLC would have all my attention at night if they did so.
Loving him at this very moment: Incredible called from Miami (he is there to witness what I hope to be an OU win at the Orange Bowl becuase seriously I cannot deal with him if they lose, he already warned me that he will be pissed off and un-sociable if the latter happens, so to seal my fate in that burnt orange hell: Go Boomer Sooners!) so he called and told me to check my personal email, homeboy sent me an eVite for a date (appointment, as he calls them) because he has not seen me in forever, okay 4 days, but he is the one that said forever.
Tonight I am so looking forward to Aerin's (Erin numero dos) birthday dinner but think I better recheck that. We are eating at the best sushi place in town, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut they were closed down for a week due to Health Code Violations (eek!). Should I dare?
If you don't hear from me, please check my bathroom.
As I sit here at work, I realize, I miss Perfect Proposal--as much as I hate the show, I miss hating on it. "Perfect Proposal" made me want to throw up. Every man on there went through the most elaborate scheme just to ask one question: Will you marry me? What the Hell happened to good old fashion romance? I guess we can give some cred to the guy who dressed up as a knight in shining armor, but can Host Nikki at least clue these guys in at the beginning of the scheming that maybe, just maybe, planting a ring in fish is not the right way to propose or she could have at least warned the fiance to be that having his future wife dig through sand in a wet bathing suit was not going to carry over on television so cutely.
Would I be a nerd if I started recording TLC during the day and can I ask why don't they play these shows at night instead of whatever crap they do show at night such as "Trading Spaces" (once a fan, now a hater), TLC would have all my attention at night if they did so.
Loving him at this very moment: Incredible called from Miami (he is there to witness what I hope to be an OU win at the Orange Bowl becuase seriously I cannot deal with him if they lose, he already warned me that he will be pissed off and un-sociable if the latter happens, so to seal my fate in that burnt orange hell: Go Boomer Sooners!) so he called and told me to check my personal email, homeboy sent me an eVite for a date (appointment, as he calls them) because he has not seen me in forever, okay 4 days, but he is the one that said forever.
Tonight I am so looking forward to Aerin's (Erin numero dos) birthday dinner but think I better recheck that. We are eating at the best sushi place in town, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut they were closed down for a week due to Health Code Violations (eek!). Should I dare?
If you don't hear from me, please check my bathroom.
Resolutions
Happy New Year! Bring it on 2005, I am ready. My resolutions are one, to never call in sick to work unless I am really really sick and two: never to let the check gas light come on for the car (Thanks Erin #3). I know three Erin's now--when will it end?
This year I had a very good rockin' New Years Eve with SK, AP (M), and the post Law School crowd--which I guess I can now call lawyers. Only one small tidbit of drama--my butt was way too big for my skirt causing liner issues, walking backwards, and a scene out of Sex and the City with SK in the bathroom. That was it and now it is back to work where I am going through 10,000 emails and detoxing from TLC...
This year I had a very good rockin' New Years Eve with SK, AP (M), and the post Law School crowd--which I guess I can now call lawyers. Only one small tidbit of drama--my butt was way too big for my skirt causing liner issues, walking backwards, and a scene out of Sex and the City with SK in the bathroom. That was it and now it is back to work where I am going through 10,000 emails and detoxing from TLC...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
