How to find a Dairy Queen
1. Don't look it up in the phone book. That is so 1998.
2. Do forget to look it up on-line
3. Do call T-Mobile's 411, pay the $1, only to be directed to a location 40 miles from you.
3. Do ask a bum. They are more resourceful than you think.
My mom and I ventured into unknown land last night. Some may call it 5 minutes from my apartment. Some may call it South Dallas. Some may even say, it is the ghetto.
We turned a blind eye to the gangsta wannabes staring us up and down. We ignored the stares of what I can assume were call girls. We kept our purses close and our eyes akimbo. It was a locked car door situation the whole ride to and back. All for the sake of some ice cream and chicken fingers.
For us, it was Mecca--land of the DQ. My mom finally got her Blizzard fix and I rediscovered the Country Basket meal and chocolate dipped ice cream. Oh. My.
It was so freaking good.
And so bad, that now, I know this DQ exists minutes away from my place. When we left, my mom put her warning in, "Now, don't be coming here all the time. You finally look trim; I'd hate to see that chub-chub come back."
She wouldn't be my mom unless she mentioned that.
The fun began once we got back to my place. Being Monday night; there are 2 things that I don't miss on television. Girlfriends and Weeds. Can you see where this is going? Girlfriends is when I should have stopped controlling the remote.
Before Weeds began, I forewarned her and gave her the backstory about the show. Seeing her expressions, I should have known to just skip it and catch the replay on Wednesday night. I should have known.
Not even two minutes into this, my mom started up, "Wait, she sells marijuana and she has those kids?"
"She sells out of her house with the kids?"
Not really, mom.
"This is not funny. Why do you think this is funny?"
I don't know, mom.
"Two kids, she is not a good mom", and then, "Someone should report her to child services"
Jeez, channel change. I was too annoyed. I didn't even get to see Celia cure her jungle fever--Celia would've really been over the top for my mom.
"You didn't have to change the channel. I was just trying to find the humor in it"
Yeah, right. I don't know how I made it through watching the first 3 seasons of Sex and the City with her.