Balls

Sometimes I do something really ballsy that I shock other people. Never do I shock myself. That's kind of silly, right? Saturday night, I definitely shocked my own self. I texted Groomsman:
"Would you like a ride from the airport, tomorrow?"

Then I had to hold my breath for two hours waiting the reply. Those were the longest two hours of my life. I was at the bar with some friends: I was there meeting my lesbian friend's girlfriend and her co-workers. I brought along my neighbor.
I didn't expect her to provide most of the entertainment. "Balls to the Wall" must be her middle name. She saw a cute boy and would just walk over to him like it was nothing and ask him; "Want to take a shot?". Now, that is technique. We all got a kick out watching her move in on her prey. She was drunk fast. In the meantime of all this, every time I felt the slightest vibration from the music or someone brushing by the table; I quickly snatched my phone and checked for the message. This kind of paranoia is something unnatural. I was like a crack whore waiting for my dealer's text.
Finally as we left the bar and I gave up on Groomsman responding, my phone zoomed with a message.
"Sure. Gate e12. 2:06"

Compared to the nerves I had from that point on to the airport; I'd rather have the paranoia of him not replying to my text message.

The next day, I put on my cutest-not-trying-to-impress-you-but-just-kidding-I-am outfit. White skirt, black tank over a white tank, cutest make-up ever, and black and white flip flops.
No I wish I could tell you that we had that airport moment, where the two of us collided into a kiss in one swoosh. A moment where we were dying to see each other so badly that it didn't matter who was around. I wish.

Instead I saw him first--whoa--he looked ten times better than I remembered. He was tan from the trip and it made his baby blue eyes pierce. Anyways, he had too much luggage to handle the above moments. I was too nervous to even think of pulling off the charade of those moments. We awkwardly said hello and I led him to my car.

As we drove to his apartment, the more nervous I got. I kept replaying what I needed to say once we got to his place. I know, I know--how could I be so nervous. I was and it was bad.
Once at his place, we plopped on the floor and tried to get his cat to come out from hiding. This took awhile; so this was my chance to lay it down.

I did. He listened. That was that. There was no screaming (my worst fear) and there was no hook up (my best fantasy). It was a very civilized chat. I left with hope that he was thinking about things or that he was content with what we now had...Friendship?!?