Monday, May 16

The Great White Hype Known as Paranoia

When I wear white, and let me tell you, there are no rules when I wear white. I don't care what time of year it is and that we are passed Labor Day. While wearing white, I'm in a state of paranoia all day long. I check and dust off all seating. I do a double take before I leave the bathroom. Each mirror I pass, I have to do the "underwear check". You know, making sure you cannot see mine, that's if I'm wearing underwear. When it comes to white bottoms, I sometimes, don't. TMI? Oh, well. I never white when I am expecting that time of the month to come around nor do I wear white while on that time of the month, is that just me? Am I weird? I don't think so, so why is it all the Tampax/OB/Kotex/Always commercials have the woman wearing white like it is nothing? I'm sorry, but if I am paranoid wearing white on a normal off-cycle day, then can you imagine the paranoia when you are on the rag? Yeah, I just said "rag", like I am in high school. Hee hee. What troubles me is the commercial where the girl is wearing all white, head to toe and uses the uhm, er, personal products as if she is McGyver. Puhleeze. Don't get me started with the one where the tampon is used to stop the boat leak! (let's not even get into the irony of that one) You have your period AND you are on a boat! Near water!! Wearing white?!?!?
Now, I thought I saw it all. Lately they have been showing the commercial where a woman in a white skirt is all over town and people are staring at her backside as if she has a...uhm, leak to show. It turns out there is no mortifying leak, just that her skirt was tucked into her underwear, which I think may be white...
Oh. Hell. No.

1 comment:

Bev said...

What about the commercial for the birth control pill that lets you get your period only 4 times a year? That chick starts out in a white dress with red polka-dots (how literal do they need to be) only to end up in a solid white one.

And I love wearing white, but I find the more paranoid you are about it, the more likely you are to get it dirty. I'll wear white pants during my cycle, but I like to flirt with danger. Hello? You're talking to the girl who wore white to NIOSA.