You will be shocked by the next sentence. Last night Incredible said "I love you" to me.
I know. I know. Believe me, I know.
It's almost been a year, I know. You know there is deal, so here it is:
When I was with Ex-Who-Found-God; he would say it all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. Every phone call, every time we saw each other, every note. It was annoying. Sometimes, I wouldn't say it back and he would say, "uhm, don't you have something to say?" and fool me, would go; "I love you, too." Isn't the meaning lost in that?
I believe that I don't want to hear that phrase unless the person feels so compelled to say it; like a force of nature.
I want meaning behind each word. I. LOVE. YOU.
Incredible and I had a drunk conversation about it and we both felt the same way. Then I thought, shit, we are drunk, I need to have this conversation with him when he is sober so I know he knows where I am coming from on this. The next day over brunch he brought it up again and added more points to the situation:
People he knows that say it all the time are not happy
People say it too soon in a relationship are most likely not confident in the relationship. Therefore using the phrase as life preserver for said relationship.
Hmm...he said it not me, but I agreed because 'some people' I know are exactly like that. Note, I said: some people.
Then I shared my past experience with the Ex-Who-Found-God and told Incredible that I never want to be in that scenario, ever: even when married. He agreed. That was way back in August of last year. He has never told me he loved me. I always think its because of that conversation. You know how we dig holes for ourselves?
Cut to last night. He was in D.C. and I was in my bed.
"I was talking about you so much, your ears must be on fire" He said.
"Really? What did you say?"
"oh, well, you know the usual. Then I had to show everyone a picture-------"
Whoa. He has a picture? I don't have one of him...I know, it's been a year...I know. We are so weird.
"Wow, you must miss me" I said.
"Yeah. I do."
Longest pause ever in the history of this relationship, I so thought he fell asleep. Then he said: "I love you."
"I don't even want you to say anything back. Good night."