Lesbians and Fainters, Oh My!

You know what America's Next Top Model needs? More Nigel Barker. Not a bisexual model or a fainter. Such dramatics; give me the simple back in the day entertainment of oggling a hot man. Correction: Hot, tall, British man. We need more of it.
Michelle/Michael came out the closet after freaking out over the fear of getting locked in Stuart Weitzman's closet. I'd gladly be locked up in that hole. She came out and her fear was that none of the girls would accept her (it is 2005) and it has been freaking her out over the smallest stuff. They did accept her and to prove it, Brandy and Noelle engaged in some sister love hair twirling and some questionable petting while Michelle/Michael explains while Tiffany holds her close. Lesbian love everywhere! Then it was time for the cutest photo shoot all around: 1-800-FLOWERS, ten dogs, and one hot half dressed flower vendor of a man. They all did great; but I'm not Tyra, and then it was off to the most dramatic elimination ceremony, ever. The girls had to wear potato sacks and pass them off as couture gowns on the catwalk. No matter what strut they did; all I saw was potato sack. Then it was time...Rebecca's eyes literally rolled to the back of her head and she fainted. Uhm hmm Tyra that is what you get for getting rid of the one model who looked like she ate. BAM! She hit the floor hard. I'm a bit skeptical as to why she wasn't bleeding or needing stitches for a cracked skull. We heard that BAM twice and it was LOUD and that floor looks like wood to me, so...hmmm. She scared the shit out of everyone including Tyra. She was fine and made it back for deliberations, seems she has the condition which was not fully explained or I just missed. Rebecca made it to the next round out of sheer pity because once again, for reasons unknown to me, they got rid of the next pretty model, after Brita, which was Sarah and kept the porn star wannabe Brittany; who time and time again was told to de-sexify her look throughout the show.