It's even uglier when it's non-family member you are divorcing. Yep, we're talking about getting rid of toxic friends today. I'm not going to mention names, but a certain someone didn't feel it necessary to answer any of my S.O.S. text messages or voicemails last night. You know who you are; but I'm going to gamble and think that since you don't reply to URGENT messages that you don't read my blog either, so, here we go.
I've only successfully divorced one friend out of my life. It was such a long time ago. The gist is we were great friends in high school, roomies in college for a summer, and then she turned psycho thus leading to her demise as my friend. Some other friends and I have been on trial separations. Oh, you may not have known it at the time, but I think its safe to say that if you had not heard from me in over 3 months, yup, we were on a trial separation. Luckily, we survived but I don't think Brad and Jen will.
Contemplating divorcing a friend is so much harder than witnessing my parents divorce. Sure, that was sad and we had to choose which parent to spend what holiday eating dinner with but with friends it's a whole other ballgame. I choose these people to be part of my life, I didn't have that much say when I got stuck with my parents. We have memories of prank calls, drunken nights, secrets. Oy, the secrets! What becomes of those secrets when we are divorced? Do you go run off and tell them to anyone who will listen? Come to think of it, there should be a trashy Divorce Court version for friends getting rid of friends. I'd call in sick to see that. The Plaintiff would call out their friend for being un-friendly in the relationship and tell all their business, ooh I could see it now. Sharon Osbourne could be the residing judge. She needs something to do and I have not seen anyone tell off someone like Sharon can.
Sometimes divorce is for the better, maybe the friendship has curdled. I got what I needed (even though I cannot think of what that is) and you definitely got what you needed: someone who listens, cares, is there for you any time you needed someone, and a bridesmaid to even out your wedding party. I think it's been unfair long enough. Hopefully we will survive the 'talk' and you will mend your ways so we won't be the pilot episode for Divorce Court: Friends.