The other night we were in bed by eleven. That is early by our standards. My mom called at 12:30, I was so deep in R.E.M sleep I never heard the phone ring. She called again at 1:00 AM. Didn't hear that either.
At a reasonable hour in the morning I saw that I missed two phone calls from her that late at night; I worried and was nervous to hear the messages. Turns out it was a drunk dial. Yes, my mom drunk dials me and vice versa.
"OHMYGAWDOHMYGAWDOHMYGAWD! WAKEUP! WAKEUP! I MET DANMAJERLE! DAN! MAJERLE! WANTS TO TALK TO YOU"*
Huh? Now, back in the day I used to think Dan Majerle was the hottest ball player after B.J. Armstrong disappeared (where did he go? Anyone know?). Phoenix Suns became my favorite team after the Bulls Dynasty fell. Majerle was hot. Then again, I was in high school and he was younger.
How cool that my mom remembered in her drunken state, right? Well, that was the first message...
"(DAUGHTER) YOU JUST MISSED DANMAJERLE...DAN! (DAUGHTER) DAN MAJERLE WAS IN MY CAR. OHMYGAWD CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? IN MY CAR! YOU MISSED HIM!"
Huh? My first thought was how did Dan Majerle get in her car and why? Then I checked the timing on the calls; they are half an hour apart. Why would Dan Majerle hang out that long with my mom? Why?
Then my mind went to that dark place that puts two and two together. My mom is drunk. It is past midnight. She is with a ball player. Player. They were both in her car at night. They were together for at least half an hour. What if she hooked up....NO, that couldn't be...could it? He is married with kids, but still, ew. That doesn't even worry me that much because if you knew my mother you'd know how crazy she is and there are no boundaries. A hook up didn't even need to happen for me to be embarrassed.
The question still remains: Why was he in her car?
I'm so scared to call her back and get the scoop.
*All CAPS because my mom likes to yell when she is drunk, wait--she likes to yell all the time.
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4 comments:
That's hilarious. I have no idea who Dan Majerle is, but still. Your mom is hilarious.
ROFL!!! I have to meet your mom one of these days...she sounds like so much fun. It sounds like an alternate universe to me b/c my mother claims she's never been drunk in her life. Boy, has she missed out!!!
oh yeah, it was ERIN who just posted about the non-drinker mom comment...damn, i need to register so my name automatically pops up!
i know a good looking stripper waitress in south florida who hooked up with dan majerle years ago so he i think yor mom probably did hook up
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