We Have a Red Wine Stain and Some Broken Shards of Glass to Remember Her

Well Tim I couldn't say it better myself. I have friends where whenever we drink, they are bound to get out of control and be puking at the end of the night. I have some friends that get drunk and start rambling their theories on life. Some friends go all mute when they are drunk. Then, there is the friend that I am sure we have come across: the drunken idiot that you always end up babysitting. I have a couple of those. Sadly, they like to act like we are still twenty-one and that alcohol is the cool party that never ends. I'm not a party pooper and I have been known to get my drink on occasionally. Occasionally being the key word here. I'm talking about those people that whenever they are in a situation where alcohol is--they don't know when to stop. They keep on going. Don't get me started on when we are at an event and it's an open bar situation or when they know they are not the ones footing the bill. It's like a race for them, let's see how quickly I can get to praying to the porcelain God. You know who they are. Why can't we just act like adults and enjoy the scenery, let me tell you if you were not so busy doing ten shots in a row, you'd notice all the good looking men that you always complain you can never find. Uhm hmm. You know who you are. In about an hour after we get to the festivities, I am holding your hair back while you puke and it is so not close to your birthday. I don't mind when it's once in a blue moon, but every time we go out? Come on! Then there is the spillage. I am so anal that you will never find those friends of mine drinking at my apartment. No way, Jose. I'm constantly following them around, like they are toddlers with my hand cupping underneath their glass. If it's liquid and it's not the first drink, you better believe it will hit my carpet. Oops!
Vanessa, don't feel so badly because I know plenty like you and they also cannot sew.