Since I am reading all about other people's friendships, it got me thinking: why is it so hard to make friends post-college? Am I the only one with this problem? In college all you had to do was sit next to someone in class and POOF there you have it, a buddy. Now as I am 27, most of my new friends were like pulling teeth to make. Not their fault and not my own; but its just an awkward situation. You meet, you click, you have such great conversation, and when its over you feel like some guy or Lesbian hitting on them asking them for their number so you can hook up later or something. I met someone over Christmas break and have not called her, yet--from the sheer fear she will think I am a freak trying to get in her panties. UGH. This anxiety is the same as calling a guy for the first time--what do you say? Do you ask them out? Will you be friends? Do they like you back?
Any help on that subject, put it in the comment box.
1 comment:
I know just what you mean, someone my aged joined the choir (back, after a brief hiatus actually) and it was like "Oh goodie, a friend!!" So we got chatty and eventually I invited her and the hubby over for dinner which was OK since I'm married and obviously not trying to make time. (Well, unless you might suspect that we're swingers, and one look at my husband would put that to rest)
She actually seems anxious about the fact that she hasn't had me back over yet to her house and literally said "We had a great time at your house and I want to have you over because we want to keep the friendship going". So there it is.
I guess I would suggest this: find something to go and do, join a group of some kind or volunteer somewhere and on the way out one day say "hey, I'm headed to (starbucks, whatever, whereever you like to go), want to come along?" Take a class in something you're really interested, so it won't matter if you're there alone. You might strike up a conversation there. Lots of schools do continuing - ed type classes, things like Knowledge network, etc,
As for the girl who you met, call her and say "hey, I was going to go see the movie (whatever)tomorrow and my friend bagged on me, want to go with me??" That gives her the way to say "no, I have plans today," because if it's short notice, it's a plausible excuse, but if she continues on and says let's go see it next week, then there you go
good luck. It's a wierd thing, to transition between college friends and the friends you make in your adult life. I remember crying more than once because I had NO friends and my sister in law didn't like me.
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