Thursday, March 12


Ryhmes with engagement. That's ironic.

I can't do this whole wedding planning thing while my mom is numb to it all.

I know I have the other blog to talk about this, but this is now interupting my personal life, so bear with me.

I'm thisclose to postponing our wedding. And that is just so sad.

Today I reached my breaking point. And that's just not right.

My mom really really wants this wedding to take place in Phoenix where she lives. Without giving you guys the long list of details; Bev put it best - she really wants a party where she can host her friends in her house. I'm not sure if its to show it off, to have some wicked reunion or if she really thinks it will be the easy way to go. She has given me a list of reasons of how her guests and our family would be better off traveling to Phoenix versus Dallas.

In Dallas - the wedding cost would be more affordable. The dollar could be stretched far and wide.

I want a loft type venue. I can hear it in her voice that she doesn't feel the same way.

I found two lofts, one in Phoenix, one in Dallas. She's against both. The one in Phoenix will only hold 50 guests; so that means her list will get cut dramatically. I can hear it in her voice, that's not a good thing.

We want more of a party atmosphere - serving heavy drinks and appetizers. She told me that if you have traveling guests you better serve them a plated meal.

She wants to tie bows around things. No - she wants to tie tulle bows around things. That's not my style, I'm way more modern than that. She wants matchy-matchy invitations that are multiple pieces of paper detailing events. I prefer the one-sheeter.

But she holds the purse. And you know what, thats not really bothering me at all. Its the fact that she hasn't, not once, gotten excited about one thing that I want in this wedding. Not one thing. All my ideas and wants have been defied by her. And that hurts. It really hurts.

I foresaw this whole engagement period as a time that mother and daughter got to plan something together. I see it as her day, too. I really do. But in the end, she keeps telling me its my day, do what I want. But, I need that excitement, that joy, something I'm not getting from her. And it makes me cry. Even while I tried on dresses, I thought there'd be a moment, you know that moment, where the mom finally sees her daughter as a bride and gets emotional? Doesn't that happen?

It didn't for me. Just once, I want to see her excited and enthusiased about this. I tell her she sounds so eh and she tells me right back, that she is tired or the day was long or "eh". What? Everyday? Each time I talk to her? No.

I dont know what to do or how to handle this because I've never been a bride before. The only answer that I could come up with today, through tears and disappointment was postponement.

Wednesday, March 11

Stolen Idea

I can't remember where I read this, online or in print but somewhere a ways back, I read what I thought was a pretty awesome idea and stole it.

Cowboy and I were a wee bit sad to leave the old apartment.

I know, its only on the eighth floor, its not like we went far at all. I'm here to tell you, the difference of three floors is remarkable. I feel less exposed in our new place. It's weird but I don't feel like there is a hallway on the other side of our front door with other apartments out there. I feel tucked away and secure. Cowboy says its because it's a smaller space, so the walls are closer to us and we don't feel so open. Maybe.

Anyway, we had a lot of good things happen to us while in that old apartment. Our lives were very fortunate. Our relationship grew stronger. It was the first place we've lived together. Blah, blah, blah.

So, we left a bottle of champagne and good wishes for the next occupant. That's my stolen idea.

We know our management offices really well and Cowboy has had a drink or two or three with the man in charge of maintenance. We had to tell them our stolen idea so we could go back in and leave the bottle, after they were finished prepping it for the next occupant.

We left the good wishes note anonymous. I didn't want to feel all weirded out if we ever ran into them in the elevator or vice versa.

As soon as we left the bottle and note and finally locked the door, I felt ten times better about everything happening in my life right now.

No wedding date. That's okay.
No job. Perfectly fine.
You know why...because I've been fortunate to have great health, a man who loves me to the moon and back, a great support system of family and friends and overall, a pretty darn good life.

Tuesday, March 10

Life on the Fifth Floor

Our move was a lot more fun than I anticipated. We had a plan where CR1 would come over and help Cowboy move the heavy items while I leapt up and down, moving smaller items.

Per usual, CR1 managed to make me go, WTF?!?!

He brought some girl that he's been dating for three weeks for us to meet! Who brings a girl for your friends to meet while you're moving? Who does that? To top it off, they both came in "date night" attire and a bottle of wine. What really did it in for me was CR1 was genuinely shocked to find out that we had already packed our wine glasses and wine bottle opener.
Yeah, it's a move, jerk!

Enough of that, because Cowboy got upset enough for the both of us...we called it what it was and decided to let it go, meet this dumb girl (I so don't like her and so I have many stories coming up about that and the story of why he is no longer with That Baby's Mama), go to bed early and get up early and do it ourselves.

Because in the long run, it's just him and I. No matter what.

Being a girl with the weakest upper body strength ever, I foresaw that Cowboy would have to be patient with me while we moved things like a couch, king size bed and dining table.

He did so good, he was very patient and proud of me when I was able to lift those items. After the move, he kept telling people how good of a job I did :)

And it was rough, too. In between, I'd crack jokes and we had a barrel of fun about it. Knowing me, I still wanted this move to be finished quickly and in an orderly fashion. No matter who bailed on us. This was still top priority. Thank goodness my jokes covered up my bossiness.

All in all - we had fun. And who knew that new furniture would make me so happy!!

Wednesday, March 4

Movin' on Down

You never ever want me in charge of your moving day. Unless you are like me and are very meticulous about it. Not anal, meticulous.

I like to have everything set and ready for when the clock strikes moving time. By that, I mean, everything in its box or vessel. Furniture prepped for moving - drawers out of desks and dressers. Wall art off the walls. And so forth.

The move itself never takes all day with me. Oh heck no. I like to get it down and over with. I see no need to be living out of boxes for weeks.

Yeah, I don't mess around when it comes to moving day. Like some people. I will agree that helping someone move is the worst favor ever. At least for me it is. I cannot stand helping unorganized people move. It makes my skin crawl. You ask me to help you move - at the very least you could have the posters off the wall and ready to go.

Moving day does not begin when the U-haul arrives. Moving day starts a week earlier. No exceptions.

It's moving day around here, did you guess?

We're moving three floors down, into a two bedroom. Reasons being, it's cheaper and it's a two bedroom.

I know, in what world is a two bedroom apartment cheaper than a one? Uptown, Dallas, Texas.

Where we are now - on the 8th floor, we are privy to what I think is one of the best views ever in this neighborhood. I can see three bars, one of my favorite restaurants, the other one, Jessica Simpson frequents and a whole lot of business buildings that light up the night sky so well. Also in this view is a wedding venue that includes a fireworks display at the end of a wedding evening. So, about twice a month, we get a fireworks show. It may sound cheesey but it is so awesome.

Where we are going - on the 5th floor, we will have the pleasant view of the Walgreen's rooftop. Yippee. Around here you get what you pay for. Also, the two bedroom is smaller square footage. Apparently, we live in the second to largest one bedroom floorplan offered. I'll admit, our living room area is way larger than some people's living rooms of houses.

That's all. We're moving. If I'm absent for a bit it's because the internet is not set up yet or Cowboy has killed me for acting like a drill sergeant on moving day.

Tuesday, March 3

It is So Awesome

I don't have a job and I'm in no hurry to go get one.

I will gladly have dinner on the table every night and laundry finished and folded for him if it means not having a job.

Because that, I could get used to. I don't know why women complained about that in the past.

Seriously I think I was born in the wrong decade.

I love going to the grocery every day and cooking. I semi-love doing the laundry a couple times a week. I say "semi" because I always tend to think of our electric bill when I do laundry more than once a week. And that, gets to me more than the chore itself.

Odd, no?

Thursday, February 26

All I Can Think of Lately

Not Bored

It's so funny now that I don't have a job and I'm back from Phoenix - people have been expecting me to be bored.

Well, I've only been back since last Friday. And I was sick. And Cowboy is home during the day. And we do have a wedding to sort out.

There's no boredom here. Not one bit.

My College Roommate also lost her job around the same time I did. She calls me every morning.

"Whatcha doing?"

I'm always doing something. She always announces that she is bored and tells me to just wait until I've been home awhile, I'll get bored too.

I think she wants me to be bored. I think she wants me in the same boat as her. And dare I say, I think she's envious that I'm not bored.

Everything around here is far from boring. I get up, run, take a shower, get dressed for the day, make a to-do list, start on that to-do list, maybe go to the grocery store or Walgreens, grab the mail and do something that resembles wedding planning. That's my day.

My College Roommate is shocked to hear that there's no television in there.

Yeah, about that. That gets me bored real quick so I'm trying to avoid all the daytime television. Can you believe I haven't seen one episode of Oprah since I've been laid off?
Well, maybe you can since she's not my top person like other people. That reminds me, while I was in Phoenix, my mom had last month's issue of O laying around. I picked it up, got as far as maybe 25 pages and then shut it back down. I just cannot take her, in print - it's like I can hear her pushing through the pages.

Enough on that.

I'm not bored.

Wednesday, February 25


I have gone two weeks without cooking. I am not going to lie, it was niiiice. My mom barely cooks herself, so I was begging her to cook some old time favorites of mine. But, the rest of the time? Oy.

I was living on Buffalo Wild Wings, In-n-Out Burger (actually, I hit them up practically everyday for lunch. We don't have them in Texas so I had to take advantage), Chik-fil-A, Cantina Laredo and the list goes on. Point is, remember I gave up fast food? But my mom doesn't cook and she is one of those that skips dinner. So, I had to make do on my own.

The best part is I didn't gain a pound. Holla!

Then I came back to Dallas and decided to cook some stir-fry up for me and Cowboy.


Is it just me or when you haven't picked up a pot in awhile, all your cooking skills are kind of like, "what do we do here?"

So I cooked and it tasted like crap. I was embarrassed that I cooked it. I should have thrown out the leftovers but when you have no job, blah, blah. I was eating it again for leftovers and it was worse.

It's so hard to get back into a saddle, again.